ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday

monkeylicious · 07-19-2006, 04:37 AM

From Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky A. Bailey:

Week One

ATTITUDE SHIFT: Harnessing the Power of Perception
REASON: To own your own upset.
DISCIPLINE SKILL: Composure
VALUE: Integrity

* When you are uspest, say, "i feel angry, and it's okay." accept your feelings. they are signals. anger is a signal that you need a change. take a deep breath and say, "i am willing to see this differently."

COMPOSURE: Living the values you want your child to develop.
* you may feel ready to explode, but you can breathe deeply, choose to stay calm, and see the situation differently. if you explode anyway, you can still return to a state of calm - all is not lost. self-control is a moment-by-moment decision.

monkeylicious · 07-19-2006, 04:40 AM

"i am willing to see this differently" - it sounds so easy, doesn't it? i need to work on this. though i may be pretty good at remaining calm, i need to change the glasses through which i view things at times.

The Tickle Momster · 07-19-2006, 06:17 AM

Ah, to be able to do that in the heat of the moment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhaud

"i am willing to see this differently"

07-19-2006, 11:25 AM

"i am willing to see this differently"

I love the way this is worded. It gives me the power to see it differently. And the responsibility to move on. It reminds me that "seeing it differently" is always a choice we have. We don't have to wait for someone else to change, we can go ahead and take a step toward feeling better. It's just a matter of remembering to do it when I'm upset. And then letting go of my blaming and my anger and doing it.

Aisling · 07-19-2006, 11:33 AM

"Anger is a signal that I need to change." Not that I need to be in control of the other person's behavior. I'm repeating this to myself over and over...

Gentle Journey · 07-19-2006, 02:51 PM

Oh how I need this today! I'm watching my 4 year old niece. Her and DD1 have been fighting all day. I need to own my anger with this. I need to chose how I react and see this differently. Instead ovf veiwing this as children fighting, I need to look at it as they need help setting boundries with each other.

Blue Aurora · 07-19-2006, 03:18 PM

So hard to do this in the heat of the moment. The last few days have been easy for me though b/c dh is home but goes back to work in another day so I'll be getting lots of practice soon.

monkeylicious · 07-19-2006, 05:11 PM

i did find myself getting frustrated with dd today.... after she took a 20x20 air filter out of the grocery cart for the umpteenth time... and as soon as i realized i was getting frustrated, she stopped. so i didn't really get to practice, but did notice my own upset!

07-19-2006, 07:51 PM

any PRACTICAL suggestions about getting this 'script' in my head during the heat of the moment? sometimes i feel like there should be wallpaper with all these scripts on it so i can SEE them when I need them

The Tickle Momster · 07-19-2006, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by puah

any PRACTICAL suggestions about getting this 'script' in my head during the heat of the moment? sometimes i feel like there should be wallpaper with all these scripts on it so i can SEE them when I need them

what she said.

I have printed some and have also tried to repeat some when times are calm. I have also been trying to notice and own my upset then trying to determine what is really important to have happen and how can we move that direction. Seems to help. I've got 3 over tired kiddos as a result of VBS (I'm exhausted too) so I'm getting to practice the what's really important thing a lot. Although bedtime tonight was tough. It took over an hour to get them to settle down. We're talking crying/kicking/screams then calmer then sleep. Only 2 more days.

mummy2boys · 07-20-2006, 05:33 PM

Quote:

any PRACTICAL suggestions about getting this 'script' in my head during the heat of the moment? sometimes i feel like there should be wallpaper with all these scripts on it so i can SEE them when I need them

oh yeah...struggling here with this one

07-19-2006, 04:37 AM	#1
monkeylicious Rose Garden here we go! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: maryland Posts: 5,138	ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday From Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky A. Bailey: Week One ATTITUDE SHIFT: Harnessing the Power of Perception REASON: To own your own upset. DISCIPLINE SKILL: Composure VALUE: Integrity * When you are uspest, say, "i feel angry, and it's okay." accept your feelings. they are signals. anger is a signal that you need a change. take a deep breath and say, "i am willing to see this differently." COMPOSURE: Living the values you want your child to develop. * you may feel ready to explode, but you can breathe deeply, choose to stay calm, and see the situation differently. if you explode anyway, you can still return to a state of calm - all is not lost. self-control is a moment-by-moment decision. __________________ jennifer - formerly jhaud Air Force wife to Bill - 2001 mama to Genevieve aka gigi or monkey - aug 2004 mama to an angel in heaven - july 2005 mama to Evangeline aka evie(licious) - june 2007

07-19-2006, 04:40 AM	#2
monkeylicious Rose Garden here we go! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: maryland Posts: 5,138	Re: ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday "i am willing to see this differently" - it sounds so easy, doesn't it? i need to work on this. though i may be pretty good at remaining calm, i need to change the glasses through which i view things at times. __________________ jennifer - formerly jhaud Air Force wife to Bill - 2001 mama to Genevieve aka gigi or monkey - aug 2004 mama to an angel in heaven - july 2005 mama to Evangeline aka evie(licious) - june 2007

07-19-2006, 11:25 AM	#4
raisa Guest Posts: n/a	Re: ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday "i am willing to see this differently" I love the way this is worded. It gives me the power to see it differently. And the responsibility to move on. It reminds me that "seeing it differently" is always a choice we have. We don't have to wait for someone else to change, we can go ahead and take a step toward feeling better. It's just a matter of remembering to do it when I'm upset. And then letting go of my blaming and my anger and doing it.

07-19-2006, 11:33 AM	#5
Aisling Deactivated Even artichokes have hearts! Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 33,230	Re: ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday "Anger is a signal that I need to change." Not that I need to be in control of the other person's behavior. I'm repeating this to myself over and over...

07-19-2006, 02:51 PM	#6
Gentle Journey Rose Garden Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In a box with a fox Posts: 13,420	Re: ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday Oh how I need this today! I'm watching my 4 year old niece. Her and DD1 have been fighting all day. I need to own my anger with this. I need to chose how I react and see this differently. Instead ovf veiwing this as children fighting, I need to look at it as they need help setting boundries with each other. __________________

07-19-2006, 03:18 PM	#7
Blue Aurora Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,666	Re: ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday So hard to do this in the heat of the moment. The last few days have been easy for me though b/c dh is home but goes back to work in another day so I'll be getting lots of practice soon. __________________ Jen, Married 10 years! Mama to 2 boys, 9 and 7.5 and my 2 little girls, 4 years old and almost 2 True obedience is a matter of love, which makes it voluntary, not compelled by fear or force. ~Dorothy Day

07-19-2006, 05:11 PM	#8
monkeylicious Rose Garden here we go! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: maryland Posts: 5,138	Re: ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday i did find myself getting frustrated with dd today.... after she took a 20x20 air filter out of the grocery cart for the umpteenth time... and as soon as i realized i was getting frustrated, she stopped. so i didn't really get to practice, but did notice my own upset! __________________ jennifer - formerly jhaud Air Force wife to Bill - 2001 mama to Genevieve aka gigi or monkey - aug 2004 mama to an angel in heaven - july 2005 mama to Evangeline aka evie(licious) - june 2007

07-19-2006, 07:51 PM	#9
puah Guest Posts: n/a	Re: ETLDTD - Week One- Wednesday any PRACTICAL suggestions about getting this 'script' in my head during the heat of the moment? sometimes i feel like there should be wallpaper with all these scripts on it so i can SEE them when I need them

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