ETLDTD - Week One, Tuesday

[monkeylicious]

From Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky A. Bailey:

Week One

ATTITUDE SHIFT: Harnessing the Power of Perception
REASON: To own your own upset.
DISCIPLINE SKILL: Composure
VALUE: Integrity

* Listen to how often you blame others. Carefully note any "make me" language. Replace "don't make me ______" with "I'm going to _____."

COMPOSURE: Living the values you want your child to develop.
* Breathe deeply and decide that you are going to stick with these exercises. Even when you lose your composure, in the next moment it can be yours again.

[mummy2boys]

Breathe deeply

Oh...I been doing this ALL day Its been pouring here for a day and a half and they are cooped up and we are all getting a bit frazzled!!! What a week to start this...but then again maybe its the BEST week for me

i have grown in not SAYING 'don't make me...' but it's taking longer to get it out of my mind how long after my language changes does my heart catch up?

[The Tickle Momster]

so I can find this later.

[Blue Aurora]

me 2

[tempus vernum]

today went really really well for us - I managed to stay calm in spite of all the stimulation of the hospital and Luke did well in his spinal for those of you praying (thank you).

[Aisling]

Originally Posted by SonshineMama

today went really really well for us - I managed to stay calm in spite of all the stimulation of the hospital and Luke did well in his spinal for those of you praying (thank you).

We've done fairly well here today Checking my mindset every so often has really helped me focus on what's really going on, rather than me feeling like my house and my family are out to get me I've caught myself thinking, "you're driving me NUTS!", and have been able to turn it around and realise that I'm getting frustrated..and dd is simply acting her age. :P

[mummy2boys]

Jodi that is good news

[monkeylicious]

dd and i had another good day. (she must know something is up! and this is the calm before the storm! ) i am usually pretty good at remaining calm... it's the living the values i want her to learn that i think is harder for me.

sonshinemama - it's difficult to remain calm even under normal circumstances at times, you must be very strong and strong in your faith to maintain in that environment and circumstances.

[euromom]

I'm trying to remind myself to "own my own upset" but I find that it is a battle and I find myself even thinking at times, when I am in an icky mood, "I don't want to own my own upset!" because I think in reality it is easier to shift the blame of why we are upset onto others or our circumstances instead of owning up to it ourselves. So I am trying to make a concious effort to make it mine even when I don't want to. This challenge is good for me. This afternoon was hard because DS took a short nap and woke up still tired but would not go back to sleep and was a handful the entire rest of the day. On top of that there were some other circumstances that got me upset and that's when I didn't want to own my own upset but I kept reminding myself I needed to.

Well, I actually said it today (you're making me mad) , then stopped myself mid sentence and reworded so that I owned it.

how long after my language changes does my heart catch up?

Old habits, you know? It seems like it's ingrained in my subconcious to react without being calm and owning my feelings. I realized that I am actually doing both: learning and teaching these skills at the same time.

I guess I get a little head start on ds because I read the book , but he doesn't have to stop and erase all the things he learned previously so I think we are even.

Kind of an ironic twist on this . . . I feel like I'm really good at identifying when OTHER people blame too much and fail to take responsibility for their own feelings. But getting upset about THAT is just another level of the same problem. Every time I hear myself saying "he just blames everyone" I need to replace it with "I'm going to take care of myself and decide how much to think about this person's problem."