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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 03-22-2006, 03:56 PM   #1
QuiltinGramma
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Default Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

When we heard about the child's death and that the mother was following Pearl's advice, some of us wrote the reporter, Mandy Locke, about it. I have received an answer from her. Here is her email:

Bobbie,
Thanks for writing.
This is such a sad story.
Are you familiar with any other specific situations in which the Pearls guidance led a mom or dad to severely abuse the
children?

Okay girls.......now what? I really can't answer her question. If you know of any situations, would you please write her at:
mlocke@newsobserver.com

I will go ahead and respond back to her letter but I just haven't been around long this community or other parenting sites enough to have first hand/acturate knowledge of this. We've got our foot in the door, so now we need to spread this around and give this reporter the information she is needing. Whatever we give her needs to be first hand ("I saw this/experienced this) or second hand, at the most, type of info or you have seen another article in your newspaper or magazine that you know that the parents are using Pearl teachings.

Let's get our facts together and email Mandy. Maybe we can do something to stop the Pearls and Ezzos.
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Old 03-22-2006, 04:00 PM   #2
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me



I have no ideas. But I'm pumped!

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Old 03-22-2006, 04:01 PM   #3
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

Here was my response:

Quote:
Thanks for writing.

I appreciate your concerns, but honestly, I feel that readers are a bit smarter than to assume that all Christian homeschoolers beat their children. We've taken great pains to not sensationalize this story, though there would be great opportunity to do so.

I did come across folks touting the benefits of gentle discipline. I'm now familiar with the concept.
I thought the first part was a little condescending. :/
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Old 03-22-2006, 05:58 PM   #4
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

TBH, I imagine she's been flooded with letters from h/s families who do use the Pearls, and see this as an attack on H/S. I thought she did a great job steering clear of that angle, myself. Now to write her back.....
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Old 03-22-2006, 06:46 PM   #5
ArmsOfLove
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

I received a similar response to yours, Bobbie. I told her I knew of families who left the Pearl parenting style because of abuse to their children from it, and that they may be interested in having their story help others if they could maintain anonymity. I figured that would be something some of y'all might want to consider.
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Old 03-22-2006, 07:00 PM   #6
hiddenhippie6
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

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Homeschool mommy to Mike, Danielle, Noah, Matt, Nick & Hannah & two that we have
yet to meet

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Old 03-22-2006, 09:07 PM   #7
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

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Old 03-22-2006, 09:56 PM   #8
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

Why don't us failed "Pearl followers" get together and tell her our stories?

(anybody want to make mine understandable?)
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Old 03-22-2006, 10:57 PM   #9
QuiltinGramma
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

I think that a good idea.
I've already sent a post to tulipmama about an article she wrote on her website.
Please pass the
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Old 03-23-2006, 08:07 AM   #10
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

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Old 03-23-2006, 08:39 AM   #11
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

Could you get her to promise NOT to mix home schooling up in this? On the editor of the old school house blog she states that the reporter tried to ask her if abuse was common in homeschool families and we know how reporters LOVE to find bad press about us HSers.I want the bad press or the Pearl method! Yeah! But I really am praying to keep it steered away from HS. Maybe you could tell her you will help only if she keep the home school out of it?
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Old 03-23-2006, 09:10 AM   #12
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

Please do tell your stories, and I agree -- have the reporter keep the focus on the Pearl method, and stress how your leaving the method was due to negative impact on your children, prayer and study, rather than failure or worse (as Pearl supporters are using to defend MP & DP), that you were using the method "incorrectly."
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Old 03-23-2006, 09:42 AM   #13
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

So. . .who's gonna help me make mine halfway understandable? And in less than book length?
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Old 03-23-2006, 10:27 AM   #14
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

Chris, I just pm'd you with a suggestion.
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Old 03-23-2006, 12:11 PM   #15
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Default Re: Pearl Advice Leads to Death--The Reporter Answered Me

Quote:
I told her I knew of families who left the Pearl parenting style because of abuse to their children from it, and that they may be interested in having their story help others if they could maintain anonymity
Thank you for setting the stage for this, Crystal. I think this is a very significant concern for a lot of mamas.

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