LGP week 7 day 4

I thought I did yesterday... must have been in my head

Attitude Shift: Harnessing the Power of Attention
Reason: Conflict offers an opportunity to teach
Discipline Skill: Consequences
Discipline Value: Responsibility

Allow yourself to feel the consquences of your choices. If you eat too much, forego the antacids. If you drink too much, forego the aspirin. This may help you in making future choices.

Notice how often you blame others for your actions. The next time you catch yourself playing the blame game, stop. Take a deep breath and say "I have a problem". From this position offer yourself empathy instead of harassement and proceed to solve your problem.

Decide if you have overrelied on punishments and rewards as a means of discipline. If you have done so, be willing to change.

Not to pick on my husband
but I really see him blaming a lot, and it astounds me Its almost like he doesnt want to get in trouble or something the other night we were discussing the budget and I was saying we need to pull the reigns in a bit, we need to be a bit more frugal and stop acting like money grows on trees so he just started going on and on about how the kids and I have all these allergies and how the food is so expensive and we cant expect to buy frugally and on and on about our allergies, like he was totally blaming our lack of self control for spending on our allergies, instead of just going, yes, we spend too much money.

and then I was baking and I dropped my canister and broke it and he came in and suddenly was yelling at the kids for breaking my canister so i said, no I dropped it, and he calmed down... its so weird....

I guess this turned more into a vent but maybe its something I dont struggle with as much - whew- finally something

I like the idea of foregoing the aspirin, like I think so often the consquenses sometimes are dulled because we go, well, I will just take an aspirin, or I will just fix it.....

Man, I hate it when I can't remember where I read something, but I can't remember where this is from...probably college psych classes.

But - there are basically two types of dealing with negative things. There's looking inward and blaming yourself, and there's looking outward and blaming others. Usually, looking out helps protect a person's self-esteem. Men tend to be more of the "looking out" types. Women tend to look in. So women will, generally speaking, take blame for things even if it's not completely their fault. (Mommy Guilt, for example!) Men, generally speaking, tend to see things as not their fault.

[ArmsOfLove]

there's also the distinction between "blame" and "responsibility". This is one I've talked a lot about to my dh. I'm not asking anyone ever to take blame, but I'm big on taking responsibility!

Jesus wasn't to blame for our sins.
Jesus took responsibility for our sins.