LGP week 3 day 4

05-05-2005, 09:25 AM

Do not give children choices in areas where you are afraid to make the decision. You are the boss.

Give children two positive choices as a way of setting limits. Use the following formula to get started.
1) you may ________ or __________
2) what is your choice?
3) you chose _______!

For older children yo may want to use one of the phrases " feel free to____- or ______" or " which of these options would be better for you? ______ or ______?"

Radosny Matka · 05-05-2005, 07:33 PM

My son has started asking this back to me when he gets angry and doesn't get his way. For instance, I was downstairs and ds wanted to go upstairs. I couldn't at that moment and he angrily said, "what are your choices." I said, "my choices are I can go upstairs or stay downstairs. I choose to stay downstairs."

05-05-2005, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mylittletyke

My son has started asking this back to me when he gets angry and doesn't get his way. For instance, I was downstairs and ds wanted to go upstairs. I couldn't at that moment and he angrily said, "what are your choices." I said, "my choices are I can go upstairs or stay downstairs. I choose to stay downstairs."

It's all sinking in....

05-05-2005, 07:54 PM

Quote:

My son has started asking this back to me when he gets angry and doesn't get his way. For instance, I was downstairs and ds wanted to go upstairs. I couldn't at that moment and he angrily said, "what are your choices." I said, "my choices are I can go upstairs or stay downstairs. I choose to stay downstairs."

I love the "options tool."

MidnightCafe · 05-06-2005, 04:48 AM

My plan - starting now - is to start offering more choices when it doesn't matter. What I mean is that I've been using choice when she needs to do something in order to help her feel more control: like. "You need to get ready to go, do you want the purple sweater or the blue sweater." At the time, she really needs to make a choice & it's because we need to go. I want to practice offering choices when it's not about something that I need to have happen. Like: "You want to color. Do you want crayons or colored pencils?"

I'm also working on something someone mentioned last week about letting childen do all the things that they are able to do for themselves. I often help her with clothes & shoes, even though she can do them herself, because it gets done faster. She often doesn't want to do it herself, though. So, I'm really encouraging her to do the things herself that she can do herself.

ArmsOfLove · 05-10-2005, 10:18 AM

Quote:

because it gets done faster

I think slowing down is one of the most important, and hardest, lessons that I'm learning as a mother. With 5 children I'm finally getting it

I feel sad about all the times that Liam just wanted to sit on a bench and *be* and I rushed him alone

05-05-2005, 09:25 AM	#1
Irene Guest Posts: n/a	LGP week 3 day 4 Do not give children choices in areas where you are afraid to make the decision. You are the boss. Give children two positive choices as a way of setting limits. Use the following formula to get started. 1) you may ________ or __________ 2) what is your choice? 3) you chose _______! For older children yo may want to use one of the phrases " feel free to____- or ______" or " which of these options would be better for you? ______ or ______?"

05-05-2005, 07:33 PM	#2
Radosny Matka Rose Garden I am so blessed! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: somewhere between sane and crazy Posts: 26,922	Re: LGP week 3 day 4 My son has started asking this back to me when he gets angry and doesn't get his way. For instance, I was downstairs and ds wanted to go upstairs. I couldn't at that moment and he angrily said, "what are your choices." I said, "my choices are I can go upstairs or stay downstairs. I choose to stay downstairs." __________________ Sara Wife to Love of my life 8/98 Momma to my precious children: N 17 years, P 13 years, O 5 years! Remembering our babies: 12/98 9/99 12/09 1/17

05-06-2005, 04:48 AM	#5
MidnightCafe Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,187	Re: LGP week 3 day 4 My plan - starting now - is to start offering more choices when it doesn't matter. What I mean is that I've been using choice when she needs to do something in order to help her feel more control: like. "You need to get ready to go, do you want the purple sweater or the blue sweater." At the time, she really needs to make a choice & it's because we need to go. I want to practice offering choices when it's not about something that I need to have happen. Like: "You want to color. Do you want crayons or colored pencils?" I'm also working on something someone mentioned last week about letting childen do all the things that they are able to do for themselves. I often help her with clothes & shoes, even though she can do them herself, because it gets done faster. She often doesn't want to do it herself, though. So, I'm really encouraging her to do the things herself that she can do herself. __________________ Wife to DH, friend of my soul... Mama to Mane (age 14), Vespera (age 26), and Niteo (son-in-law)

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