LGP week 2 day 5

teach your child to handle intrustions by other children in the following manner. Go to the victim and say
1) "did you like it?"
2) listen to the no you recieve to decide if the victims energy and confidence level are high or low. if her confidence and evergy are low, accompany her to speak to the other child.
3) Say to the child Go tell _____ I dont like it when you ________

Teach your children how to get what they want adn to resepct the rights of others by saying to the aggressor:
1 you wanted _____
2 YOu may not ______. ____ hurts (or is not safe etc)
3 when you want _______, say or do _______
4. Do it now! Practice!

[MidnightCafe]

I really like these 2 "canned" responses & I have been using them ever since I read them a few weeks ago. The second one is especially great because I see how it helps me assume positive intent & I think it really helps DD to know that I'm not saying she's bad. I acknowledge what it is she was trying to do & then teach her to do it in an appropriate way. I have always tried to assume positive intent with DD, but this response helps me put it into words so that she hears it & knows I am assuming something positive about her.

More good stuff.

I think I need to write down the canned phrases and stick them in my pocket because because whenever it happens my mind just blanks right out. usually Im like "what are you doing??!!!" or something dumb like that


Ive also been giving my baby a "voice" and I find that really helps dd understand instead of me saying "look, he doesnt like that" or just plain ol "stop picking on your brother" now I say, "look at him, hes saying "Sister, i dont like it when you pull on my arm" or whatever. and its like to her. interesting how its like that.

and, I feel alot less naggy

[DogwoodMama]

Irene, all I can say is practice, practice, practice... I feel like that's mostly what I'm doing right now, saying these things, b/c Charlotte is still in the stage where I usually have to get off my rear end and "make it happen"! So I just keep doing things like the 5 steps and using "canned" responses and so forth, especially when I get a chance with other kids like in the nursery or at playgroups. It's definitely a learned thing!

still in the stage

still? dd is three and we are still there I know what you mean about practicing. I have been a lot more able to *choose* to stop myself from saying anything out loud, pausing, thinking... (always for what seems like forever ) then saying the right thing out loud. I even am getting better at practicing in my head.

its definitly a whole new thing for me. I have never ever seen anyone parent like this, and of course the old tapes really want to pop into my head :/ so not only does it take practice to say these things but then you get the old stuff too showing up when its not wanted :/ whew! its a lot of work, but already, so worth it!!!

AND, we had a bad grocery shopping experience this morning but somehow through sheer will, I remained composed! I bought myself a soda and we got to the car and I sat there and drank it before driving off... just sitting and regaining control over myself. its amazing, these *choices*

are there a lot of canned responses in this book? (scripts as Crystal says)

are there a lot of canned responses in this book? (scripts as Crystal says)

Yeah there are lots. I'm with Irene on writing it all down. I'm making myself a big ol' chart with helpful stuff like the scripts. Christy, can you find a copy anywhere just to read through? If this discussion is helping, you'd really benefit from the book!

They may have it at the library - but I have this HUGE fine that I can't pay right now.
So......I'm looking for a way to get it. I am going to see first if they actually have it. (our library is notorious for not having what I am looking for and they charge now for inter-library loans. ) Then, IF they have it, I will see about maybe getting Dh to watch the kids for an hour a week so I can go and read and then "plagerize" the canned phrases. Perhaps they will have it? (is there an emoticon that holds it's breath and passes out?! )