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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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04-17-2005, 07:48 PM | #1 |
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Kinda dissapointed
well I have always loved our new pastor and wife. She has been so encouraging to me about slinging and EBF and co sleeping and the whole natural health thing. so I thought she was kind of a kindred spirit.
well today we went to a baby shower for this single girl in our church who just had a baby and the gift our pastors wife brought... To Train up a child and another one by the Pearls she said "some parts are a bit extreme, but its really helped up with parenting, really really good books" I dont know, I just felt so shocked for one, then dissapointed. Trying not to let it cloud my vision of her... As the gifts were being passed around, my heart was beating fast and I know my face was red I looked at the back and the wording was so positive "spank less" and all these positive words ( I cant really remember now) but anyway, just thought you would all understand. had to vent I guess. just sad about and trying to put my feelings somewhere :/ |
04-17-2005, 07:51 PM | #2 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
I'm sorry Irene, after she had been so positive too.
Do you think there might be an opening there with the 'Some parts are a bit extreme" comment to discuss it with her and try and find some different options which have good stuff without what she is already admitting are the negatives? |
04-17-2005, 08:00 PM | #3 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
Why can you never find AP, non-punitive Christians IRL?!
I'm sorry, Irene. Do you think you can bring it up with her? |
04-17-2005, 10:44 PM | #4 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
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04-18-2005, 04:25 AM | #5 | |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
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Magan |
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04-19-2005, 02:27 PM | #6 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
I think I might be able to talk to her some. I might probably just chicken out though too :/
I just keep thinking about this though... do the Pearls do CIO? Pastors wife seemed that she never did that. always talked about co sleeping and stuff. the wierd thing is I was so shocked that she was Pearl. I guess i had this image in my head of these evil controlling parents or something and she is always so sweet to her kids, I was so impressed by the relationship she has with her kids, as opposed to all the Ezzo people in our church. and she has said "I never could do the Ezzo thing" Im so confused.... so do the Pearls keep an appearance of lots of love or is it really love? I know parents love their kids... I dont know. Im not super mushy or anything either, but people have commented on our "love" as a family... Im just trying to sort this all out... I think i had ezzo/pearl all tied in together just from my bad ezzo experience... |
04-19-2005, 02:36 PM | #7 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
Well, the short answer is yes. Pearl does advocate letting a child cry. But it is not for the same reason as Ezzo. Ezzo believes that crying is good for a child because it helps them regulate a schedule which provides consistency and routine for the mom. :/ Pearl advocates crying as training that they are not the most important member of the family. As far as I can tell, Pearl isn't big into crying in order to go to sleep - just crying so they can learn to wait.
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04-19-2005, 02:40 PM | #8 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
thats so sad... but they are natural and co sleep at the same time? that seems so uh... weird to me like how can you be bonding with your baby then at the same time teach them a lesson by letting them scream? weird...
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04-19-2005, 02:46 PM | #9 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
As Crystal said elsewhere, people who say they are really natural and AP, but believe in spanking are usually Pearl followers.
The Pearls are AP about a lot of things, bfing, EC, "tying heartstrings," etc. But their views on discipline are totally warped. So a parent can be very natural and loving and seem very AP, but is actually a Pearl follower. If you have the stomach to read TTUAC, you'll see what I mean. |
04-19-2005, 02:59 PM | #10 |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
I dont have the stomach I was reading I think wendy's thing on in and could barely get past the first few paragraphs... o well. it kind of "makes sense" I guess now although Im sad about it
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04-19-2005, 04:56 PM | #11 | |
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
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04-19-2005, 05:08 PM | #12 | |
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Peace be with you.
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
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04-19-2005, 05:23 PM | #13 | |
Rose Garden
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
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"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." |
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04-19-2005, 05:32 PM | #14 | |
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"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
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04-19-2005, 06:44 PM | #15 | |||
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Re: Kinda dissapointed
From Pearl's website...
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Quote:
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BTW, the above quotes are all from the same article. I just picked relevant pieces rather than posting the whole thing. |
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