I'm starting to understand some of the hangups I used to have about God.

kwisie · 10-01-2006, 06:52 PM

When I was growing up, I knew that God loved me, sent Jesus for me, etc., but I was always afraid of Him. I just knew that if I ever really gave my life to Him, He'd take away everything I liked, make me miserable, and punish me for every remotely wrong thing I did, as well as every good thing I was supposed to do and didn't. I completely avoided anyone that didn't believe exactly like I did, especially the ones that did things on the unwritten list of sins.

Fortunately, over the last several years, my entire way of thinking on these topics has changed. Upon reading posts here as well as the GBD book, I'm starting to understand where so much of this came from. Knowledge really is power in this situation.

I also now understand that my parents disciplined us as they did b/c of what they were raised with and what they were taught in parenting classes at church. I remember them talking about how grateful they were for a church that had parenting seminars and classes to help them. Unfortunately, the help they got was what so many people have gotten at church, a very punitive, us-versus-them style. And based on what I remember from that church, the theology totally matched.

(We found somewhere much less rigid when I was an older teen.)

I am so thankful for my DH who challenged my thinking on everything. He has been the catalyst that has moved me from where I was to where I am now.

Anyway, I just had to get these thoughts out. Excuse my rambling.

CelticJourney · 10-01-2006, 07:53 PM

It really is amazing how 'father' can be seen so differently depending on who you were raised. Sounds like you have had some great insights.

Rbonmom · 10-01-2006, 10:38 PM

ITU, I walked away from my relationship with God for many years because I saw Him the way I saw my punitive parents. It felt cold and unloving and like He just was about following a bunch of rules, rather than loving me where I was. I felt like I could never be good enough (as I felt with my parents) and so why bother.
The pregnancy with my ds was where things started turning around. I discovered that the love a parent has for their child, before it's corrupted by the teaching of many of the so called "parenting experts", is the way God feels for me. Even more so, that drew me back to Him. And these past two years have been an incredible time of searching the Scriptures to see what they really say, and learning for myself Who He says He is

It's been totally transforming, and having the support of GCM has been huge. Before this, I truly doubted my "feelings" that punitive parenting was the wrong way, the unChristlike way because that's what we're taught in most evangelical churches

What has been so neat is that my mom is finally grasping grace and not only is it transforming her relationship with God, it's made her really rethink so much of her parenting ideas. She said she's had several homeschooling mom's ask her "what do we teach for "character development" (she HS 5 of us) and she said "nothing" and explained to them that it's about a relationship and reflecting Chirst to our kids, and not about teaching a bunch of rules on proper behaviour

Rabbit · 10-01-2006, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwisie

When I was growing up, I knew that God loved me, sent Jesus for me, etc., but I was always afraid of Him. I just knew that if I ever really gave my life to Him, He'd take away everything I liked, make me miserable, and punish me for every remotely wrong thing I did, as well as every good thing I was supposed to do and didn't.

Thank you for sharing that. This is how I felt growing up, too, and it has been difficult to overcome.

-Natalie

ArmsOfLove · 10-02-2006, 07:18 PM

10-01-2006, 06:52 PM	#1
kwisie Rose Garden Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In my sparkly place Posts: 15,140	I'm starting to understand some of the hangups I used to have about God. When I was growing up, I knew that God loved me, sent Jesus for me, etc., but I was always afraid of Him. I just knew that if I ever really gave my life to Him, He'd take away everything I liked, make me miserable, and punish me for every remotely wrong thing I did, as well as every good thing I was supposed to do and didn't. I completely avoided anyone that didn't believe exactly like I did, especially the ones that did things on the unwritten list of sins. Fortunately, over the last several years, my entire way of thinking on these topics has changed. Upon reading posts here as well as the GBD book, I'm starting to understand where so much of this came from. Knowledge really is power in this situation. I also now understand that my parents disciplined us as they did b/c of what they were raised with and what they were taught in parenting classes at church. I remember them talking about how grateful they were for a church that had parenting seminars and classes to help them. Unfortunately, the help they got was what so many people have gotten at church, a very punitive, us-versus-them style. And based on what I remember from that church, the theology totally matched. (We found somewhere much less rigid when I was an older teen.) I am so thankful for my DH who challenged my thinking on everything. He has been the catalyst that has moved me from where I was to where I am now. Anyway, I just had to get these thoughts out. Excuse my rambling. __________________ *Karen* 4 Wielder of the Sparkly Pencil of Sneak-Attack Silliness. Flowery Sunshine Power Woman

10-01-2006, 07:53 PM	#2
CelticJourney Administrator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 34,568	Re: I'm starting to understand some of the hangups I used to have about God. It really is amazing how 'father' can be seen so differently depending on who you were raised. Sounds like you have had some great insights. __________________ Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19

10-01-2006, 10:38 PM	#3
Rbonmom Rose Garden Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 10,661	Re: I'm starting to understand some of the hangups I used to have about God. ITU, I walked away from my relationship with God for many years because I saw Him the way I saw my punitive parents. It felt cold and unloving and like He just was about following a bunch of rules, rather than loving me where I was. I felt like I could never be good enough (as I felt with my parents) and so why bother. The pregnancy with my ds was where things started turning around. I discovered that the love a parent has for their child, before it's corrupted by the teaching of many of the so called "parenting experts", is the way God feels for me. Even more so, that drew me back to Him. And these past two years have been an incredible time of searching the Scriptures to see what they really say, and learning for myself Who He says He is It's been totally transforming, and having the support of GCM has been huge. Before this, I truly doubted my "feelings" that punitive parenting was the wrong way, the unChristlike way because that's what we're taught in most evangelical churches What has been so neat is that my mom is finally grasping grace and not only is it transforming her relationship with God, it's made her really rethink so much of her parenting ideas. She said she's had several homeschooling mom's ask her "what do we teach for "character development" (she HS 5 of us) and she said "nothing" and explained to them that it's about a relationship and reflecting Chirst to our kids, and not about teaching a bunch of rules on proper behaviour __________________ Blessed to be a gentle-striving, hs'ing, single mama to 8yr ds, the boy who stole my heart, and calls me mom. Prayerfully awaiting the arrival of the child God has for me! Pediatric ICU Nurse

10-02-2006, 07:18 PM	#5
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: I'm starting to understand some of the hangups I used to have about God. __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

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