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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 10-22-2014, 08:42 AM   #1
ArmsOfLove
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Default In search of a list of books to recommend

and we may already have this but I don't remember if anything ever got stacked . .. but a list of books that can be recommended for those wanting to do studies on strengthening the family in non-"Traditional" models and language. (IOW, not FOTF, etc.).

I've got Van Vondervan's Families Where Grace is in Place and my own Grace-Based Living, but are there others that are good and solid and, if possible, with study guides?

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Old 10-22-2014, 09:14 AM   #2
Hannah Elise
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

Tim Kimmel's Grace Based Parenting is my favorite GBD book. I would love to get my hands on his other relationship/family books, but haven't had it in the budget yes. He even has one geared toward grandparents and their role!

I've read everything by L.R. Knost except her most recent (Jesus the Gentle Parent) and they were all great. Very applicable stuff.

Give Them Grace has one offhand line about "of course this doesn't mean we don't spank our children" or something absurd like that, that pretty much runs counter-intuitive to the message of the entire rest of her book. *headscratch* Otherwise I would recommend it.

Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year is my favorite grace-based book for the very early days, when new parents might be particulalry tempted to cave to sleep training.
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Old 10-22-2014, 09:31 AM   #3
ArmsOfLove
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

Thank you!

Are there any that address the entire family dynamic? Marriage, parenting, etc. Not just parenting (or even primarily parenting). That's where I'm getting stuck
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Old 10-22-2014, 01:10 PM   #4
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove View Post
Thank you!

Are there any that address the entire family dynamic? Marriage, parenting, etc. Not just parenting (or even primarily parenting). That's where I'm getting stuck
Kimmel does have one called Grace Filled Marriage... might be worht a read?
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Old 10-23-2014, 02:37 AM   #5
MariJo7
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

"Are there any that address the entire family dynamic? Marriage, parenting, etc. Not just parenting (or even primarily parenting). That's where I'm getting stuck "

An old classic that has given me much and prevented me from many mistakes is "What's a Family"" by Edith Schaeffer. I wonder if it has been reprinted or still available somewhere, but it is a very good book, and it deals with the whole family dynamics.
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Old 10-23-2014, 10:34 PM   #6
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

This thread has been very helpful - I've hit Amazon now I really feel the need to reinforce what I somehow instinctively know with Scripture and a sound, thought-through approach that I can confidently discuss with others... almost everyone I know follows parent led parenting!
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Old 10-27-2014, 09:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

I loved How to Really Love Your Child by Ross Campbell. He is endorsed by FOTF, but his language is gentle and he makes a wonderful case against spanking and even punishing.
Scream Free Parenting was long and dragged, but my husband really liked it. I liked how so much responsibility to manage yourself and your reactions was taken from the children and put on you. I can't remember if he mentioned using time outs, but I am certain the book did not paint children as would be tyrants that would destroy your marriage if you did not get them in line.
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Old 10-28-2014, 02:04 AM   #8
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

Ross Campbell is very good. I also liked his How to Really Love Your Teenager. I especially liked his ideas on anger management. According to him, it is normal to be angry once in a while, and it is the task of the parents to teach their children how to express their complaints, grievances and anger in a constructive way. This implies, of course, that most of the parents have to train themselves first. Most of us have not had any training in expressing grievances in constructive ways. Ross Campbell's books really fill a big gap.
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Old 10-31-2014, 01:52 PM   #9
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

Discipline That Connects With Your Child's Heart, by Jim and Lynne Jackson, is very good, and suitable for those just coming out of a punitive paradigm. They also have a book called How To Grow A Connected Family
http://connectedfamilies.org/store/


Two books which address general relational dynamics, including marriage:

Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk. He emphasises making connection our goal including during conflict, non controlling communication and setting boundaries.

The High Cost of High Control by Tim Kimmel. Mostly about how to recognise manipulation and control in various forms, useful for FOO issues, has chapters on marriage and parenting (doesn't mention spanking, emphasises things like letting kids make their own decisions, using natural consequences etc.)
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Old 11-18-2014, 02:50 AM   #10
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Default Re: In search of a list of books to recommend

I've just started reading Jesus the Gentle Parent by LR Knost and I'm already halfway through. It's a short book but I'm finding it really makes sense, connecting how Jesus himself discipled his charges, which is not so different from parenting really. Highly recommend for background, although perhaps on practicals this book is a bit light.
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