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11-21-2009, 04:08 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,733
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Temper Tantrums
And im not sure what exactly is best to do. Its the little boy i look after. He can be great one day then the next is nothing but tantrums and Autumn hasnt been doing anything like that so i dont want her starting to copy him. What would be the best way to handle it? He goes into a tantrum if i say no and take him away from something he wants and when he gets his diaper changed, he kicked me that much when i was changing his diaper the other day that i have a big bruise on my leg. I cant allow that kind of behaviour but im unsure on how to deal with it. He is almost 20 months. He is very good at communicating and is learning new words all the time and knows the meaning of No lol. He is an only child and i dont know if that has something to do with it. I have him 4/5 days a week till 6pm ish.
Any advice??
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Rach wife to Andrew Mama to Miss A 2007 Mr N 2009 Mr J 2010 Miss S 2013 Miss N - 2016 6 angels waiting with the Lord "Looking off unto Jesus my spirit is blessed, In the world i have turmoil ; In him i have rest, While the sea of my life all about me may roar, When i look unto Jesus i see it no more" |
11-22-2009, 05:02 AM | #2 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,025
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Re: Temper Tantrums
Can you try changing his diaper standing up? He may resist less that way. (And it will be harder to kick you).
Tantrums are normal for that age, no matter how verbal they are. How long does each one go on? You can't really stop a tantrum once it starts, so it's not a question of 'allowing' or not. Don't reinforce it by giving in, of course. You can try reflecting his feelings, and maybe be more proactive about putting 'no' items out of reach to begin with. Cuddle with him if that seems to help, or try distraction with some other interesting object, or just wait it out nearby.
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Rachel, mom to ds (14) and dd (almost 12) and dd2 (3!) |
11-22-2009, 01:13 PM | #3 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,407
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Re: Temper Tantrums
ITA w/ changing the diaper standing up! It makes life much easier here. This is an old blog post I wrote about how we deal with tantrums. For me, what helped most of all was not so much a list of specific techniques (although some have worked great), but adjusting my own mindset about big emotions. http://dulcefamily.blogspot.com/2009...of-part-i.html
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The Following User Says Thank You to dulce de leche For This Useful Post: | weerach (11-22-2009) |
11-22-2009, 01:30 PM | #4 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,740
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Re: Temper Tantrums
What do his parents do when he tantrums at home?
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Michelle
Bearer of the Sceptre of Sympathetic Strength Wife to the car guy for 21 years Mom to my kids T - Fifteen A - Thirteen Z - Ten |
11-22-2009, 03:43 PM | #5 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,733
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Re: Temper Tantrums
Quote:
As for what his parents do, his mom is on her own, she says she does the same as me but im not sure. When he as pitched a tantrum when she has been here she just laughs. I dont reinforce it by giving in, i dont do it with Autumn so im not doing it with anyone elses adn it would weaken my authority too so im quite careful with that. I have tried cuddling with him but he kicks and yells even more and if i try adn distract him with another toy he throws it across the room! I have resorted to making sure he cant hurt himself and have just left him in the middle of the floor and kept an eye on him. Autumn sits with her hands over her ears crying her eyes out when he gets going cause it scares her.
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Rach wife to Andrew Mama to Miss A 2007 Mr N 2009 Mr J 2010 Miss S 2013 Miss N - 2016 6 angels waiting with the Lord "Looking off unto Jesus my spirit is blessed, In the world i have turmoil ; In him i have rest, While the sea of my life all about me may roar, When i look unto Jesus i see it no more" |
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11-22-2009, 11:04 PM | #6 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,740
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Re: Temper Tantrums
My first thought is that he doesn't know what to do with his big feelings. He's upset and all he knows how to do is yell and scream and lash out, so that's what he does. He needs to be taught what *to* do.
I would start with validating his feelings before he has them. Just before you take the toy away say, "I'm going to take away this toy because you will not share (or whatever reason). You are going to be very angry with me." Then give him options of what he can do to get the feelings out like go hit a bed, do an angry dance, etc. After the tantrum validate his feelings some more. It will take time, practice and maturity, but he'll eventually start coming around. Maybe even faster if you can get the mom on board. I wouldn't change the diaper of a child that is kicking me. He can stop or he doesn't get his diaper changed. Have you tried giving him transition-type warnings that you are going to change him?
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Michelle
Bearer of the Sceptre of Sympathetic Strength Wife to the car guy for 21 years Mom to my kids T - Fifteen A - Thirteen Z - Ten |
11-23-2009, 03:37 PM | #7 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,733
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Re: Temper Tantrums
Quote:
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Rach wife to Andrew Mama to Miss A 2007 Mr N 2009 Mr J 2010 Miss S 2013 Miss N - 2016 6 angels waiting with the Lord "Looking off unto Jesus my spirit is blessed, In the world i have turmoil ; In him i have rest, While the sea of my life all about me may roar, When i look unto Jesus i see it no more" |
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11-23-2009, 04:16 PM | #8 | |
Rose Garden
sisters!
Join Date: Mar 2005
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Posts: 35,300
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Re: Temper Tantrums
Quote:
Glad to here the game helped With DD speech delays that was a really difficult age for us... Deanna
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
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11-23-2009, 09:37 PM | #9 | ||
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,740
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Re: Temper Tantrums
Quote:
Quote:
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Michelle
Bearer of the Sceptre of Sympathetic Strength Wife to the car guy for 21 years Mom to my kids T - Fifteen A - Thirteen Z - Ten |
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