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Old 09-19-2017, 02:13 PM   #1
lavenlove
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Default Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

My husband and I have had increasingly more behavioral issues with our oldest; she's 7 and in 2nd grade. She does well at school- she's actually extremely bright and is in the gifted program. She also behaves well at school. But at home, it's a different story. She talks back, she ignores us, she continues doing stuff when we've asked her to stop, she picks on her younger brother, and she often has intense temper tantrums that have lately even become violent. I have had concerns about possible ADHD since she was around 4, but my therapist at the time told me she was too young to diagnose. Fast forward to age 7, and here we are - she has taken the tests and her teacher and I have filled out the requisite paperwork. Waiting to hear from the psychologist now. We are at a loss for how to help her manage her emotions and improve her behavior. My husband was raised being (in his words) back-handed for talking back, and I have had to plead with him not to spank her. The best thing for me to do during one of her fits is to try to remain as calm as possible and to basically ignore her - she cannot be talked down. If we threaten to impose consequences, it often sends her even further out of control. It's exhausting and extremely frustrating.

I was so happy to find this group a few weeks ago. I need some advice and/or encouragement for what to do! A close Christian friend who is an LPC is suggesting behavioral therapy. I'm very open to therapy - for her and for the family as a whole if necessary. She also recommended a behavioral plan - including behavior charts - which I am not sure if that falls into the realm of grace-based discipline. DD is extremely strong-willed; for example, when I decided it was time to potty-train her brother, she took over the making of the reward chart which I then abandoned. Help!!


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Old 09-19-2017, 02:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

Have you looked into dietary connections? Kids lke that are sometimes sensitive to food additives and food dyes. Is she ok with being in gifted classes? My older dd was in them at school and we thought it was such a great thing until she told me she really disliked them and she felt different from the other kids and like she just had a lot more work than any of the kids.Is she eating a protein snack aftr school ? Maybe you could ask her to write or draw what was good about her school day and not so good.It sounds like she may be getting upset or overstimulated at school and then lets it out at home.Sometimes coming home and having a snack and switching her bath time to the afternoon might help her relax. Was also going to suggest you put Epsom salts in her bath. The magnesium is absorbed thru the skin and is very calming and relaxing
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Old 09-19-2017, 03:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

I have considered dietary connections, but honestly, the thought of figuring that out completely overwhelms me. I wondered if red dye was a culprit, which she probably doesn't get a lot of at home, although she may have it when eating out. And it's also in Gatorade, which my husband keeps at home and she *occasionally* drinks. But that's not an everyday thing. The tantrums are not limited to the afternoon. She pitched a fit for almost an hour this morning! She was ok for about 3 minutes after waking up, then everything went downhill. I told her I was going downstairs to make her lunch and breakfast and that I was not going to stand there and let her talk to me that way. She eventually came to the kitchen continued the fit.

She is ravenous after school. But as far as protein, she really only likes meat. She doesn't care for peanut butter, and my husband is allergic to tree nuts, so I really only have pistachios on hand since I eat them. (He's anaphylactic to pecans for sure.) She won't eat hummus or cottage cheese. But she will snack constantly if I allow it. Fruit, carbs, etc. Her BMI is high, but our Ped isn't too concerned. She stayed on her curve - so he was glad to see she didn't jump up. Last year at her well check he
Sent us for blood work since her bmi was high, but everything was normal.

She loves her gifted class and teacher. She LOVES reading and I would estimate she's on at least a 4th grade reading level. She complains that her regular class is "boring". I explained that since it's the beginning of the school year, there may be some review, and she now complains that all of 2nd grade will be a repeat of 1st grade. Ugh. Her teacher is relatively new - brand new to our school system but has a couple years of experience. And this is her 2nd career - she was formerly in law enforcement! But she seems very excited about teaching and has had nothing but praise for DD.

We have our regularly scheduled parent/teacher conference tomorrow. I also emailed her principal today, bc some of DD's fits seem to be about school - missing recess for others' misbehavior, for example. Hopefully we will be able to pinpoint the issues soon start to get things figured out.


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Old 09-19-2017, 04:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

In terms of dietary stuff, you can start small, like eliminating food dye and high fructose corn syrup.
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Old 09-19-2017, 05:11 PM   #5
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

You can also try the Epsom salt baths too :Magnesium. Symptoms of magnesium deficiency include irritability, decreased attention span, and mental confusion. Some experts believe that children with ADHD may have a mild magnesium deficiency. In one preliminary study of 75 magnesium-deficient children with ADHD, those who received magnesium supplements showed an improvement in behavior compared to those who did not receive the supplements
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Old 09-19-2017, 06:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

I need to review the foods we frequently eat and see how much dye or HFCS they contain. She definitely has a sweet tooth and asks for candy on a regular basis...but as far as food products, I think I do a fairly good job avoiding dyes. I'll have to look closely for the HFCS, tho.


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---------- Post added at 08:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:22 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacat View Post
You can also try the Epsom salt baths too :Magnesium. Symptoms of magnesium deficiency include irritability, decreased attention span, and mental confusion. Some experts believe that children with ADHD may have a mild magnesium deficiency. In one preliminary study of 75 magnesium-deficient children with ADHD, those who received magnesium supplements showed an improvement in behavior compared to those who did not receive the supplements


Very interesting about magnesium...do you have any links to share on it? I think I could get her to take a bath with Epsom salts without too much trouble.


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Old 09-20-2017, 03:36 AM   #7
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

so familiar (hugs)

We did have some food issues connected to our behavior challenges. Before changing anything I would keep a food journal as well as mark behaviors by time and any food connection. It is overwhelming but IME less overwhelming than rages and other behaviors.

Some of those behaviors can also be how anxiety manifests in children. What we thought was ADHD was actually an anxiety isssue. We were able to get more tools from m a professional to help our child be successful versus punish our child for struggling. TBH that child is still just this side of an ADHD dx but with coping skills that kid is doing so so much better now than when we first started figuring this stuff out.
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Old 09-20-2017, 05:13 AM   #8
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

It helps to have your mindset be Our child is not giving us a hard time - she is HAVING a hard time.

---------- Post added at 12:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:09 PM ----------

Here is one link:http://www.adhd-health.com/adhdnatur.../magnesium.php If you do search you will find even more. The rule of thumb for magnesium as far as dosage s usually to bowel tolerance.
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Old 09-20-2017, 09:05 AM   #9
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

I agree that anxiety can look like ADHD and they often go together.

It *could* be that it's so exhausting for her to behave well at school that she simply *can't* do it anymore at home.

Also, we find 7 VERY challenging in our home and it's just the age. They are better at 6 and 8 in our home.

How much sleep does she get? My 7 year old still needs 12 hours.

For sure eliminate food dyes and HFCS. They don't help anyone!

Another thread on here talks about it taking 3 weeks to change habits/taste buds, so expect it to be hard.

If you do searches for ADHD, you'll find lots of suggestions for natural help and lots of mamas who also realized drugs were a necessity.

FWIW our doc said to do our best to avoid meds until after puberty.
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Old 10-13-2017, 03:10 PM   #10
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

So we got the diagnosis a couple of weeks ago...my daughter does have ADHD, the combined type. So she's hyper and a daydreamer. The psychologist also thinks she possibly has a sensory processing disorder, due to the sections of testing where she had a lower score. She said that occupational therapy could cure the sensory issues bc it creates new pathways in the brain. We're waiting for a call back from the recommended OT to find out what our insurance will cover.

Our pediatrician wants to see the testing report and then I guess we will discuss possibly medicating her for the ADHD. He also agreed with the recommendation of OT.

The testing also proved she is extremely intelligent, which was nice to hear. We already knew, but I guess now it's official. The benefit of her gift if intelligence is that she can compensate for the challenges of ADHD. I just hope we can still address it and she can be her best self.


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Old 10-14-2017, 04:25 AM   #11
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

I want to suggest reading Ross Greene's The Explosive Child. This part reminds me of exactly what the book addresses, and he is gentle in his approach.

Quote:
The best thing for me to do during one of her fits is to try to remain as calm as possible and to basically ignore her - she cannot be talked down. If we threaten to impose consequences, it often sends her even further out of control. It's exhausting and extremely frustrating.
He doesn't advise specifically on the ADHD or OT, but rather on how to survive parenting while getting that all sorted out. Like the OT will help tremendously if you find a good one who knows about sensory issues, but what do you do in the meanwhile while waiting for that to take effect?

Here's a link to the book...
https://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Chi...sap_bc?ie=UTF8
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Old 10-14-2017, 06:18 PM   #12
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Default Re: Help! Waiting on a possible ADHD diagnosis

Thank you, Quiteria. I have looked at this book, as I saw an article that mentioned it. Glad to hear a recommendation. I think this author has a new book out too. I need to read both of them.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/14767...KIKX0DER&psc=1


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