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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

 
 
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Old 06-05-2012, 01:31 PM   #1
bolt.
Rose Trellis
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,963
bolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond reputebolt. has a reputation beyond repute
Default ... And I'm the Strict One!

Well, ladies, do you know what's a show-stopper in a nicely chatting group of Christian Mommies?

It's when the strictest parent there casually mentions that she doesn't spank. Here's the circle of my friends and acquaintances when I mentioned it:



Friend 1: "You don't???"
Me: "Yeah, I used to, but I haven't in a long time."
Friend 2: "Really?"
Me: "I try not to do anything harsh at all, really."
Friend 1: "Well... but... your kids are angels."
Friend 2: "Some kids just don't need it."
Friend 1: "Yeah, I had one that spanking didn't work for."
Friend 2 to 1: "It's not the right tool for every child."
Friend 1 to me: "You can leave if you want to, if you think it's cruel."
Me: "No, I just think it's unnecessary."
Friend 2: "Well... you've got angels."

Conversation continues on which kids "need" it, with lots of "funny" stories. Apparently, their various children's persistent poor habits means the Mom should do more of what they are already doing (spanking), but the consistent excellence of my children has nothing to do with my methods: they were born that way.

Do these people really believe random selection gave me two angels, that I never had to really parent 'the hard way' -- while they received an assortment of challenges my methods could never meet? I should extra-respect them for raising more difficult children, beyond my scope of experience? Even if they "have to" hit these challenging children, and even if hitting them isn't showing any benefits!
__________________
Everything written here is the musing and mumblings of an ordinary person. Even if I take myself too seriously, there's no reason for any of you to make the same mistake!

Pam, 35 yo
Christian for 20 y
Married for 15 y
Mother to "J" 8 yo, and "M" 5 yo
INTJ, DYT 4, Canadian
1 more class until I'm done at Seminary
Adjunct Faculty at a Bible College
bolt. is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 35 Users Say Thank You to bolt. For This Useful Post:
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