Rant: "extremes" and logical fallacies in discussions

[SewingGreenMama]

This is NOT about any conversation I've seen on GCM but about conversations, discussions, and debates I've seen mostly on facebook.
I'm so tired of people jumping to the EXTREMES in arguments.

We've all heard the "If you don't spank they'll never learn" "If you don't punish they will be spoiled brats and go to jail" "If you don't (something unnecessarily harsh) they won't learn that the real world is harsh and unforgiving and they will expect the world to bow to their whims and not be able to function in the real world"

I love having good discussions about many, many topics under the sun. Esp gentle parenting, vaccines, circumcision, bible, spanking, CIO, unschooling/homeschooling. I don't even mind when they get heated. I do mind when someone says "we should spank because toddlers will die if they run into the road!!!" That is an extreme situation. Most of what we are talking about are toddlers pulling down stacks of folded laundry , screaming over a cup of water , or loving a baby a little too enthusiastically

I'm currently looking for a good article and/or youtube video on how to discuss/debate a topic well that I can post everytime someone uses an extreme/rare situation as a blanket example of why it's appropriate all the time in all situations; and logical fallacies.

Also While I understand logical fallacies I have to constantly go back and read about them because I forget their names etc, get them mixed up. It is so frustrating because I can't just point out the problems with someone's arguments, I have to go research it and by the time it is done often the opportunity to point it out is over.

Anyone else struggling with this?