|
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas |
|
|||||||
Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.)  *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
|
 |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
10-20-2011, 07:30 AM
|
#31 | |
|
Deactivated
Hi ! I'm Myrtle. I like to pretend I'm an R.O.U.S.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: under the cat
Posts: 17,112
  |
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
Quote:
Dobson still advocates an us vs them home. A home in which parents don't admit to being wrong , every little action from the tween/teen is seen as something to get your goat and a battle to be ignored (saved for the bigger battle) or won thru unfair arbitrary punitive methods. It's so much better to see each new thing as an opportunity to get closer to your child , not as a battlefield. So while I might not want my 12yr old to shave , it's a chance to bond with her (whether you let her or not) , not a battle field strategy. kwim ? So , my answer is a big fat NO , Dobson is not any better for the bigger kids. |
|
|
|
| The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to J3K For This Useful Post: | BarefootBetsy (10-21-2011), dulce de leche (10-21-2011), jandjmommy (10-21-2011), klpmommy (10-20-2011), melliethepooh (10-20-2011), ReedleBeetle (10-20-2011), Sparrow (10-21-2011), StoryOfGrace (10-20-2011), Thankfulforgrace (10-20-2011), Zooey (10-21-2011) |
|
10-20-2011, 08:11 AM
|
#32 |
|
Rose Garden
 INFP...Don't mind me!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 3,601
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
On the subject of a 12 yr old shaving...let her do it, bond with her on it, and she'll probably get sick of doing it in a month anyway
 Making a fight out of that sort of thing just makes it more appealing to the kiddo.Really, I have yet to read anything by or about Dobson that makes me understand why Christians as a whole have clung to his teachings. Seriously people, his psychological education was obtained during the late '60s...not a red letter era in psy! You wouldn't take your kid to a therapist who got their education then, so why would you take parenting advice from someone who did? That has just always made me 
__________________
Story  "Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded.
What if we put down our signs, crossed over the lines, and loved like You did?" ~Casting Crowns |
|
|
|
|
10-20-2011, 11:44 AM
|
#33 | |
|
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Beautiful Colorado
Posts: 8,415
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
Quote:
Last edited by Thankfulforgrace; 10-20-2011 at 01:00 PM. |
|
|
|
|
|
10-20-2011, 12:22 PM
|
#34 |
|
Rose Garden
I am so hopelessly in love..
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chillin' in the California hills
Posts: 24,678
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
yes, Dobson believes if you are going to start the battle, you must finish and the parent must win. blech
|
|
|
|
| The Following User Says Thank You to hey mommy For This Useful Post: | klpmommy (10-20-2011) |
|
10-20-2011, 12:57 PM
|
#35 |
|
Rose Garden
 Hangin' on for dear life!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: WV, I'm a mountain momma
Posts: 25,579
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
Edited now that I know klpmommy read it.
__________________
RiAnnon infj Single Momma to LegoCraft May 2005 
Last edited by ReedleBeetle; 10-20-2011 at 02:59 PM. |
|
|
|
| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ReedleBeetle For This Useful Post: |
|
10-20-2011, 02:45 PM
|
#36 |
|
Deactivated
 Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
some of these most recent posts have really answered the question. Thanks.
|
|
|
|
|
10-20-2011, 03:03 PM
|
#37 | |
|
Deactivated
It is good to be Queen!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Nothin' could be finer...
Posts: 8,231
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to mwwr For This Useful Post: |
|
10-21-2011, 04:43 AM
|
#38 | |
|
Rose Garden
INFP...Don't mind me!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 3,601
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
Quote:
 I guess I'm not of the opinion that 12 is too young anyway
__________________
Story "Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded.
What if we put down our signs, crossed over the lines, and loved like You did?" ~Casting Crowns |
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2011, 05:54 AM
|
#39 |
|
Climbing Rose
 Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 1,192
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
Several posters have referred to Dobson's "teen materials" - I didn't think he had any books aimed specifically at parents of teenagers.
It's been a while since I read Dobson, but as far as I can remember his advice for older kids is still quite adversarial, still based on behaviourism (rewards and punishments), grounding, loss of privileges etc. Basically it's about parental control, rather than helping kids develop true self-control. In the past I've seen shallowness of relationship between parents and older kids in more than one Dobson-influenced family. With regards to the story of the 12yo girl, Dobson tends to champion that sort of self-esteem issue. He isn't an ogre, and when I read his books I found myself agreeing with the bits I didn't disagree with, if you KWIM.  However, I would sooner recommend authors like Danny Silk or Faber and Mazlisch.
__________________
Emma INFP mama to DS21 and twin DSS19 Married to my ENTJ sweetheart
 for 28 yearsLast edited by NewCovenantMama; 10-21-2011 at 05:58 AM. |
|
|
|
| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to NewCovenantMama For This Useful Post: |
|
10-21-2011, 09:27 PM
|
#40 |
|
Rose Trellis
 Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
He's too much insistent on control, control, control.....That seems to be his whole philosophy in a nutshell.
__________________
"A person's a person, no matter how small"--Dr Seuss |
|
|
|
| The Following User Says Thank You to Zooey For This Useful Post: | klpmommy (10-22-2011) |
|
10-22-2011, 11:55 AM
|
#41 |
|
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 12,314
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
I think he has a fair amount of good stuff. And that's coming from a non-fan standpoint, but I grew up with him so I've heard/read a lot of it.
__________________
My kiddos 26, 23, 19, 15, 12, 8, 2, <1 |
|
|
|
|
10-22-2011, 02:53 PM
|
#42 |
|
Administrator
   Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,569
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
The one thing I would say about Dobson is this: Compared to the other punitive authors (Ezzo, Pearl and Tripp), he is the one I see as most likely to at least listen to a different message. I think if we put him across a table from Crystal for a couple of hours of conversation (toss in a nice dessert and coffee to soften him up), he would come away from the experience changed to some degree. His approach seems to be behavior modification first, theology second - simply challenging that flaw could be life changing for him. The other three, I couldn't foresee open hearts or minds.
__________________
Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19 |
|
|
|
|
10-22-2011, 04:54 PM
|
#43 |
|
Deactivated
Hi ! I'm Myrtle. I like to pretend I'm an R.O.U.S.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: under the cat
Posts: 17,112
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
I'd still recommend Crystal's book over Dobson's any day of the week. And Joanne's website GOYB , and Hermana Linda's too....
|
|
|
|
| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to J3K For This Useful Post: | dulce de leche (10-24-2011), klpmommy (10-22-2011), NewCovenantMama (10-22-2011), Zooey (10-23-2011) |
|
10-22-2011, 05:54 PM
|
#44 | |
|
Deactivated
Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
10-22-2011, 06:10 PM
|
#45 |
|
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Rainy Oregon
Posts: 8,997
|
Re: Is Dobson better with older kids (tween & up)?
I will say he wrote a book geared for college students that I found really helpful
__________________
Shannon, INFJ (Weekday SAHM/Weekend Barista)  Wielder of fine coffee and compassionate comments. Wife to my DH, graduate teaching student Francisco (ISFP)  , since 7/7/07 Mom by adoption to Lina, my 11-yr-old w/sensory issues and, after 4 years, 2 months, and 20 days of infertility, birth mom to 2-yr-old Baby Bird We are a DF, GF, dye-free Jesus loving family! PM me for help or encouragement with infertility issues. |
|
|
|
| The Following User Says Thank You to shaslove For This Useful Post: | Sparrow (10-22-2011) |
|
| Bookmarks |
|
|
| X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information | |
|---|---|
|
|
 More Information |
|
|
Template Usage:
Phrase Groups Available:
|
Included Files:
Hooks Called:
|
Samuel( 4)
and 2 babies in heaven 
Linear Mode
