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Old 10-10-2008, 08:11 PM   #1
illinoismommy
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Default spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

help!
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Old 10-12-2008, 07:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

I tell Gracie flat-out, "When you talk like this [demonstrate whiney voice] it's called whining. It really, really annoys me. Please ask me like this [demonstrate non-whiny voice]"

So far it's working. She's 4.5.
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Old 10-12-2008, 08:37 PM   #3
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

The best way here is:

limit TV
limit computer time
limit junk food

"Asked and answered"

"Conversation over"

"You're whining. Try again."
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Old 10-13-2008, 12:12 AM   #4
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

youre whining. I dont want to hear it. try again. I cant understand your words when you whine. stop whining. tell me in real words what you want.

it works most of the time.
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Old 10-13-2008, 04:18 AM   #5
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

"I dont' like to listen to you when you whine. Start over in a non-whiny voice"

That gets used a lot around here. DD just turned 5 and is a champion whiner.
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Old 10-15-2008, 01:18 PM   #6
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

I've taught the difference between a "high" or "whining" voice and a "low" or "pleasant" tone of voice. I tell them to try again in a pleasant tone of voice. We've practiced them at neutral times (they think the "high/whining" voice is hilarious when we practice ) so I can pull in that skill during a situation.

I also do "asked and answered" and, if really frustrated, I walk away. Mostly scripting them to try again in a low tone of voice works. At first I had to say exactly what I wanted to hear, then just "try again with a low tone of voice," now I just say, "Try again."

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Old 10-15-2008, 05:25 PM   #7
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

Hey, these are all really great, though I can see we're doing things fine because we do these things so apparently its just perseverence

Maybe we should sticky this topic, its pretty common!
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Old 10-16-2008, 12:26 PM   #8
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

Good idea!
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Old 10-16-2008, 05:32 PM   #9
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

Oh yeah, it definitely takes perseverance. When people are really tired, hungry, etc. (young or old) whining kind of comes naturally but it can be trained out.
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:04 PM   #10
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

Sometimes it works here to do some sort of playful parenting. "Oh, no, there's something wrong with my ears! Are you saying something?"
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:07 PM   #11
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

It's not ok to whine.

That's what I usually say and I ask her to tell me in a normal voice. But I like the idea of practicing in neutral times and calling it a pleasant voice.

What's ask and answer?
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Old 10-17-2008, 05:56 AM   #12
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

Usually I just say "Mama doesn't respond to whining, try again" but sometimes I say "Mama doesn't speak whinese, try again in a calm voice" if I can tell they need a playful parent to turn the situation around.

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Old 10-20-2008, 10:34 AM   #13
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HummusDip

What's ask and answer?
"Asked and answered" if for when you've already given an answer but they keep asking in a whiny voice. If you'd said "No" to TV but they keep saying, "But Mom, pleeeeaase can I watch TV?" You say, "That question has already been asked and it's already been answered."
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Old 10-20-2008, 10:44 AM   #14
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

I also use, "What do you think?" when they get in that cycle, and a lot of times it interrupts that cycle for my dd while she thinks of her answer. Very helpful!
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Old 10-21-2008, 07:30 PM   #15
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Default Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiyank
I also use, "What do you think?" when they get in that cycle, and a lot of times it interrupts that cycle for my dd while she thinks of her answer. Very helpful!
yeah.... that's kind of funny....

i do that too - but 5yo tells me i said no, and then proceeds to throw himself of the floor, flop around and say, BUT WHYYYYYYYY??????????? (waaaaaa...)
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