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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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09-30-2006, 12:40 AM | #1 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,039
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HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
OK. I am quite upset to the point of being ill, so if this seems confusing I apologize. I will try to give a little background about this situation before posting my question. We occasionally foster a 14 yo boy who is a very well-mannered polite young man. His mother left with a "friend" leaving him, his sister (12) and half-brother (10 months) with the abusive step-dad and step-dad's mom. CPS was called by SD because "he wanted to have wife arrested for abandonment and have the kids removed from the home." CPS left the kids there- in a VERY hostile situation in which step-gma and step-dad beat the kids regularly (including infant!). Last week s-gma pushed 14yo down the stairs then slapped him (in front of witnesses and it was unprovoked). 14yo and myself calls CPS caseworker who comes to home and in front of said witnesses says, "they can hit you as much as they like for any reason as long as they do not cause permanent PHYSICAL damage." (emphasis mine) That was actually what she said. I wanted to beat her for saying that .
My question is this: are there any laws protecting kids in this situation (we live in AZ)? I am at a loss how to help these kids and the older kids are beaten with belts, sticks, anything handy, while the baby is slapped and shaken for crying if he is hungry, wet, etc...If anyone has ANY ideas I would appreciate it as I am desperate and feel helpless. Please pray for these sweet, defenseless children who are totally innocent and do not deserve to be abused for any reason. They tell the kids "If you don't shut up I'll drown you like a dog in the river" and "If I had my way you would be gone forever" and "I hate you and wish you were dead" while being beaten with a huge leather switch. Why are people allowed to do this while if I were to kick my dog I would go to jail?? Not that I would ever kick my dog.....
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Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. |
09-30-2006, 07:54 AM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
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Re: HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
I would place a call to a CPS supervisor and ask the questions about "what does it take?" and ask for another caseworker. I do know that "actual damage" is what I've been told is required for removal Like a broken arm, multiple contusions, etc. Sexual abuse they try to be quicker to act but
It also may be a lack of anywhere to put them if they were taken DH and I have talked about fostering but not in our small house and not with all of our *little* children. When they get older we will discuss it again (both because right now we're tapped out but also because I know that foster children often come with sexual/physical abuse issues and I want all verbal and able to defend themselves children before I allow these issues to possibly enter my home). Unfortunately, CPS in general is a wonky creature, in our state it's really bad I'm that the governor did what she did a few years ago to make CPS so independant that they don't have to answer to anyone as an agency
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09-30-2006, 08:01 AM | #3 | |
Rose Garden
My kid shoots laser beams from his hands
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 21,900
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Re: HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
Quote:
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09-30-2006, 08:07 AM | #4 |
Deactivated
Peace be with you.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: the sweet sunny south
Posts: 15,346
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Re: HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
Can you unofficially foster these children, by arrangement with the stepdad?
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09-30-2006, 08:14 AM | #5 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
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Re: HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
Quote:
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10-01-2006, 07:30 AM | #6 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 1,192
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Re: HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
that God will intervene and turn those kids' lives around
Emma
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Emma INFP mama to DS21 and twin DSS19 Married to my ENTJ sweetheart for 28 years
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10-02-2006, 09:58 AM | #7 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,039
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Re: HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
Well, sorry for taking so long to reply. We had a bad weekend with my dd4 who had dental work done last week and has developed a serious infection from who knows where.
We have offered to foster all 3 kids (I can't believe that was dh's idea!) but CPS told us it was better to keep them in the home. Step-dad avoids talking to us because he thinks we're "crazy bible-thumpers." Don't know how he came up with that one as we have never told him we are Christians nor have we spoken more than twice. CPS actually told him he should call me for "punishment ideas." because my children are so well-adjusted and behaved If they only knew how punitive I WAS with my dc and how badly I have struggled to learn GBD they would probably remove MY kids I have contacted the CPS workers supervisor dozens of times, but she will not return my calls (how convenient). The step-dad is an alcoholic and has been arrested almost a dozen times for domestic violence (to his wife & kids) and DUI. They removed a DOG from the home after he abused it--but the kids, they'll be "just fine they like it there." Over the weekend step-gma smacked 13yo girl around and sent her to live with biological father (who is not much better than step-dad). Bio-dad sent her back last night because he's not used to having kids around. Funny how when kids NEED to be removed from the home they're not, and kids who should be left in the home are removed. CPS told me if he was beating his wife they could arrest him. Why do children have less rights than an adult who could protect themselves??? Thanks for the prayers and advice I appreciate it so much.
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Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. |
10-02-2006, 01:09 PM | #8 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 10,115
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Re: HELP!!!!!!!!!Need advice RE: Child abuse in AZ
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emily |
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