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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 04-10-2006, 06:54 AM   #1
Close2MyHeart
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Default Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

The moms in my moms homeschool co-op want to study this book this summer in their book club. Mom borrowed it from someone so she could pre-read it and decide if she likes it. She was curious to know if I heard of it. I told her yes, but never read it , don't know much about it other than that the Pearls are a bit strange. Anyway, she started reading it and is liking it so far. So I want to know if anyone here has read it and what you think of it??
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Old 04-10-2006, 06:58 AM   #2
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Default Re: Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

short answer?

if you want to be told
A: your dh can decide what you wear, where you go, and who you talk to
B: that your dh has the right to abuse you
C: that you have no other calling in life than to be a 1950's housewife
D: that Bible study on your own is spiritual mast*rbation, because you are gratifying your own spiritual needs at the expense of your dh's leadership

then CTBH is the book for you.

Otherwise, run. fast. as far as you can go.
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Old 04-10-2006, 07:05 AM   #3
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Default Re: Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

Rebecca, very true! I normally don't laugh about this book at all though.

TulipMama has links to some reviews on her blog... Check out Spunky's review in particular.

I would not engage in a serious discussion (meaning to improve my marriage) based on this book. I think it would do the complete opposite if I followed Debi's advice. There are some people who claim that this book has been helpful to them, but my guess is that they could have gotten that info elsewhere- people cite the "pampering" your dh and loving him sort of thing.
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Old 04-10-2006, 07:26 AM   #4
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Default Re: Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

Thanks! I'll check out that blog later...

I don't want to read it, actually. :P I'm more concerned about Mom reading it.
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Old 04-10-2006, 11:33 AM   #5
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Default Re: Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

You know toilet paper was created to be......but you might as well sit on that roll if you follow Debbi Pearl.

Just let him wipe up with you, no thanks and the Bible doesn't support it.

And to suggest Mr. Commander, Mr Sensitive, and Mr. Whatever else, I call them the Three Stooges, are facets of G-d's character is downright blasphemy.

To suggest women have "muted personalities," she can come over here for a taste of my muted personality.

DB
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Old 04-10-2006, 11:59 AM   #6
Mommyo6
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Default Re: Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

I am writing a review of this book for my church right now and I can tell you that she uses scripture out of context and incorrectly. She makes broad sweeping statements that have NO scriptural basis and are , I believe, scripturally blasphemous. Here is one quote from page 29

"God has provide for your husband's complete sanctification and deliverance from temptation through you, his wife"

HUH ! I am responsible for my husband sanctification ..I thought that was Christ's job.. sounds like blasphemy to me! Plus if it is true my poor hubby is sunk!! She spends WAY TO much time talking about the intimate side of marriage (and way to graphically for my taste) as if that is all husbands want and any problem in a marriage is probably because we don't pay enough attention to it. And any problem in your marriage is YOUR fault and your hubby has no responsibility or ability to help/control himself at all. I could go on, I think it is poison,,, the 5 or 6 good sentences do not in any way make up for the lousy theology and terrible advice in the rest of it! RUN AWAY! And warn others. I don't see how so many women cannot see the glaring theological garbage like the quote I mentioned, and that is only one of many. Why don't these things jump out at them like they did me. Any theories on this? My pastor/hubby was horrified at that statement from her book.
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Old 04-10-2006, 12:30 PM   #7
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Default Re: Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
To suggest women have "muted personalities," she can come over here for a taste of my muted personality.
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:27 PM   #8
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Default Re: Can you tell me about "Created to be His Helpmeet"??

Quote:
Originally Posted by jadensmom
short answer?

if you want to be told
A: your dh can decide what you wear, where you go, and who you talk to
B: that your dh has the right to abuse you
C: that you have no other calling in life than to be a 1950's housewife
D: that Bible study on your own is spiritual mast*rbation, because you are gratifying your own spiritual needs at the expense of your dh's leadership

then CTBH is the book for you.
And don't forget:

E. that everything wrong in your marriage is YOUR fault. Period. Husband has porn addiction? YOUR fault, because you weren't lovin' him enough in the sack. Husband commits adultery? YOUR fault -- again, you're probably being unsubmissive and you aren't giving him enough lovin' in the sack. Substance abuse? YOUR fault -- you drove him to it, and probably aren't giving him enough lovin' in the sack. (Remember that a smile, a wink and a roll in the sack solves all your problems! )
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