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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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02-28-2010, 09:57 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Our sweet family, 2017
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The Woodlands, TX
Posts: 8,882
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So what can we DO?
If there's already a post around here somewhere that talks about this, just direct me to it; I id a half-hearted search but didn't find anything.
I haven't read a ton abou this latest Pearl story, because honestly I can't stomach it. I know the bare facts, which is more than enough to stoke the fire in my belly to DO SOMETHING. But what? What can we do to start speaking out against this heresy and abuse? Facebook notes and blogposts just don't feel like enough.
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02-28-2010, 10:08 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above.
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,331
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Re: So what can we DO?
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02-28-2010, 10:17 PM | #3 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 30,329
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Re: So what can we DO?
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02-28-2010, 10:33 PM | #4 |
Rose Trellis
Struggling with life
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Where the grass grows green
Posts: 1,972
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Re: So what can we DO?
So far I have:
Read and commented on blogs Read and commented on the mops forum Contacted friends of mine that I went to college with who are pastors to ask them to speak up if they hear of any of their families in their congregation using such methods (including links to the theology behind it so they would know what they were dealing with) Sent a letter to: Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity (next is Sarah Palin!)
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02-28-2010, 10:55 PM | #5 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northwest of Orlando.
Posts: 6,732
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Re: So what can we DO?
I remember reading a quote a long time ago about how it's harder for people to separate from something than it is for them to separate unto something.
Before parents will be willing to give up following the Pearl's teaching, I suspect they will need non-punitive tools for setting firm boundaries. Actually, many parents will simply need to know that they can enforce boundaries without inflicting physical pain. The idea is out there that anyone who doesn't spank their children lets their children do whatever they like. Another thing that deserves to be accentuated is the need for parents to step back and ask themselves, What do my children really learn from my preferred disciplinary tactics? If I spank my child for throwing a tantrum when he is angry, what am I really teaching him? The spanking may get him to stop tantruming, but have I actually taught him how to deal with his anger appropriately? |
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03-02-2010, 01:40 AM | #6 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,362
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Re: So what can we DO?
Speak out against the Pearls' teachings whenever they are mentioned in your presence. I'm gathering my courage to present my case at the Orthodox bookstore again. Hopefully they don't stock those books anymore.
When discussing the Pearls with the unchurched, BTW, try to avoid using words such as "heresy" or "doctrine" because in many people they only bring up Monty Python sketches (Nnnobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!) or Puritans in funny hats. The points that will come across even to people who have never cracked a Bible, IMO: *The Pearls teach that it's possible to be 100 percent perfect in all ways, and in fact Michael Pearl has said that he himself is a perfected human being who never does or says anything wrong. *The Pearls teach that the essential foundation for human perfection is laid in childhood through the actions of the parents. *The Pearls teach that there are two choices before a parent: Either make your children perfect, or see them become hopeless losers and scumbags who will just continue the cycle of badness. (Avoid the words "sin" and "soul.") *The Pearls teach that children can learn this perfection only through repeated application of physical pain. *The Pearls teach parents that only certain signs on the part of the children will show that the pain treatment is working. These signs amount to complete submission of the child to the parent, on the level of a slave or a broken prisoner of war, or the ability to counterfeit such. Signs that the child is still able to protest the pain treatment are treated as rebellion and a call for more pain. *The Pearls teach that if the child does not produce the appropriate signs, the parent must continue. Remember that in the Pearls' system of child training, the stakes are extremely high. *The Pearls flavor these central teachings with lots of pretty words about "tying heartstrings" and so forth. They also assert that only they have laid hold of the essential truths of human nature and, as said before, that people who do not do as they say risk ruining their children forever. They write with great confidence about these matters. Hence they have deluded many parents who are anxious to do the best for their children and don't have the background needed in order to analyze the Pearls' claims. Also, children who have been raised a la Pearl tend to be very compliant when people are looking--understandably!--which can be misinterpreted by other parents as good behavior arising from good character and hence as proof that the Pearl system works. We know what it means to deny the doctrine of original sin, elevate a piece of plumbing line to the status of the Savior, and use prooftexting on people who have no training in hermeneutics, but it needs to be laid out in different language to people who don't speak our jargon, so to speak.
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03-03-2010, 10:38 PM | #7 | |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 11,249
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Re: So what can we DO?
Quote:
I would elaborate but |
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