Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline

MudPies · 08-29-2017, 04:50 AM

I was thinking this am that the scripts in my head are so very helpful in the heat of the moment. I bet many of us have some great ones!

So what do you tell yourself to help keep your focus on parenting with gentleness and grace?

My go-to is not a script but imagining myself in their shoes and responding how I wish my parent would have.

tempus vernum · 08-29-2017, 05:12 AM

I use tons of scripts for myself easy to love difficult to discipline. (I hope this is what u mean but it's things I say to myself).

"The moment is what it is and I can relax"
"Do I want to be correct or Do I want to connect?"
"What I focus on, I get more of"
"The only person I can make change is myself"
"Encouragement empowers"
"We must discipline ourselves first and our children second"
"Conflict is an opportunity to teach "

Eta- I got out my cheat sheets and now I want to re-read this. I've studied several times over the decades

MudPies · 08-29-2017, 06:16 AM

Those are great!!!

Aerynne · 08-29-2017, 06:51 AM

I don't have too many, but I do have:

"He won't be doing this when he's in college" (this was my mom's go-to sentence about everything

)

"She's not giving me a hard time- she's having a hard time"

"It's hard to be (age)"

MegMarch · 08-29-2017, 09:05 AM

This is not an emergency.
Self, be the grown up.

Not a one-liner, but I pretend I'm babysitting. It's easier to remove myself from the "but she's gonna end up in jail!" and "what will people think" and "gotta nip this in the bud" thinking so I can respond appropriately without fear taking the lead.

charla · 08-29-2017, 10:26 AM

"Breathe"
"Kind and firm" - Dh and I use this mental phrase all of the time when dealing with people of any age so that we can respond with this in balance.

"Connection is key"

Singingmom · 08-29-2017, 10:40 AM

"Be the grown up" is my most important one right now with my 13 yo. It really helps!

Beth1231 · 08-29-2017, 11:06 AM

"It's hard to be (age)"
"I'm playing the long game" (especially with my daughter)
"I'm growing a tree" (results are slow iow)
"Be the safe place"
"He/she is having a hard time,not trying to give me a hard time"
"When is the last time this kid has eaten something?"

Lena O. · 08-29-2017, 01:14 PM

"Be his/her safe place" and "be the adult" are my go-to phrases.

Especially on those days when I have a child kicking and screaming and I feel like kicking and screaming right along with them, the second one comes in handy.

knitlove · 08-29-2017, 06:13 PM

Oh I need to be reminded of these.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

tempus vernum · 08-29-2017, 06:28 PM

This is an extremely encouraging thread

08-29-2017, 04:50 AM	#1
MudPies Moderator My kiddos Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: What is a Hoosier???? Posts: 9,980	Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline I was thinking this am that the scripts in my head are so very helpful in the heat of the moment. I bet many of us have some great ones! So what do you tell yourself to help keep your focus on parenting with gentleness and grace? My go-to is not a script but imagining myself in their shoes and responding how I wish my parent would have. __________________ Kathy , INFJ Loving Wife to Hubby since 8/97 Mama to Dink 12/06 Link 7/07 Wink 3/10 Pink 12/10 and Tink 5/16 Remembering

08-29-2017, 05:12 AM	#2
tempus vernum Rose Garden I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 28,913	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline I use tons of scripts for myself easy to love difficult to discipline. (I hope this is what u mean but it's things I say to myself). "The moment is what it is and I can relax" "Do I want to be correct or Do I want to connect?" "What I focus on, I get more of" "The only person I can make change is myself" "Encouragement empowers" "We must discipline ourselves first and our children second" "Conflict is an opportunity to teach " Eta- I got out my cheat sheets and now I want to re-read this. I've studied several times over the decades __________________ ~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ”

08-29-2017, 06:16 AM	#3
MudPies Moderator My kiddos Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: What is a Hoosier???? Posts: 9,980	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline Those are great!!! __________________ Kathy , INFJ Loving Wife to Hubby since 8/97 Mama to Dink 12/06 Link 7/07 Wink 3/10 Pink 12/10 and Tink 5/16 Remembering

08-29-2017, 06:51 AM	#4
Aerynne Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 27,359	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline I don't have too many, but I do have: "He won't be doing this when he's in college" (this was my mom's go-to sentence about everything ) "She's not giving me a hard time- she's having a hard time" "It's hard to be (age)" __________________ Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day

08-29-2017, 09:05 AM	#5
MegMarch Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 5,922	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline This is not an emergency. Self, be the grown up. Not a one-liner, but I pretend I'm babysitting. It's easier to remove myself from the "but she's gonna end up in jail!" and "what will people think" and "gotta nip this in the bud" thinking so I can respond appropriately without fear taking the lead.

08-29-2017, 10:26 AM	#6
charla Administrator Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 16,661	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline "Breathe" "Kind and firm" - Dh and I use this mental phrase all of the time when dealing with people of any age so that we can respond with this in balance. "Connection is key" __________________ CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David www.dancingforeternity.org www.irresistiblehope.org Save Save Save Save Save

08-29-2017, 10:40 AM	#7
Singingmom Administrator Oh, sing to the Lord a new song! Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 25,954	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline "Be the grown up" is my most important one right now with my 13 yo. It really helps! __________________ Kelly Wife to my sweetheart for 30 years Grateful mom to 3 young adults Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

08-29-2017, 11:06 AM	#8
Beth1231 Deactivated Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 14,962	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline "It's hard to be (age)" "I'm playing the long game" (especially with my daughter) "I'm growing a tree" (results are slow iow) "Be the safe place" "He/she is having a hard time,not trying to give me a hard time" "When is the last time this kid has eaten something?"

08-29-2017, 01:14 PM	#9
Lena O. Rosebud "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow." - Helen Keller Join Date: May 2017 Location: Kansas Posts: 100	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline "Be his/her safe place" and "be the adult" are my go-to phrases. Especially on those days when I have a child kicking and screaming and I feel like kicking and screaming right along with them, the second one comes in handy. __________________ LENA

08-29-2017, 06:13 PM	#10
knitlove Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Seattle area Posts: 21,260	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline Oh I need to be reminded of these. Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk __________________ Wife to a wonderful DH for 19 years. Momma to my 29 weeker Early Bird who is thirteen and my little Wiggle Worm born 33 weeks who is nine. How do I have a teenager?! I don't feel ready for this.

08-29-2017, 06:28 PM	#11
tempus vernum Rose Garden I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 28,913	Re: Best one-liners to think of to help with gentle discipline This is an extremely encouraging thread __________________ ~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ”

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