My best friend is "babywising" her 4 day old...I am so sad

02-14-2006, 08:25 AM

Throughout my best friends pregnancy I have been trying to encourage and uplift her about just how wonderful mothering is! I never overloaded on advice, I just gave it to her when she asked. Except one time, when a mutual friend gave her Babywise and told her what a lifesave this would be for her and her marriage. Well, I didn't say much (although I wanted to rant and rave) I just gave her a copy of several alternative books. I also emailed her links to articles which tell some of the downsides of Babywise.

Well her baby arrived this past week. I visited her at her home this weekend and she and her husband both made a point to tell me that they had been making sure they don't hold the baby too much but instead get her to stay in her own bed. "Even when she cries I make sure I don't go get her unless it is time for her feeding because I'll be darned if she is going to run the show around her.. hahaha." This is EXACTLY what her husband said to me. I wanted to throw up. These are good Christian friends who are in the ministry, I thought I knew these people. I did not think they were the kind of people who could heartlessly leave a FOUR DAY OLD baby to cry alone.

I was so upset I just tried to keep my composure and assured her it was OK to hold her baby and just to remember that babies need physical touch just as much as they need anything else. That was pretty much it and I left. On the way home I just cried.I cried for her baby but I think I also cried out of selfishness, simply because I feel so isolated sometimes. Why am I looked at like I am NUTS for parenting the way I do, yet someone who puts their 4 day old in bed to cry alone is the smart one, because they are "looking out for their marriage".

The ironic twist is that my friend and her husband are always talking about how well behaved my DD is when we go to dinner or when they have come over to our house. Then in the same breath they tell me how their other friend (the one who gave them Babywise) how her child is always in a bad mood and upset about everything. Now I am not saying my child is perfect by any means, but I do believe that day nurturing as well as night nurturing plays a big role in how content and joyful my little 14-month-old is.

Why don't people understand that true parenting takes patience and time? And that this type of parenting won't give you a bad marriage. It might give you a happy child and a happy marriage.

MamaToAnna
Wife to my wonderful hubby (in a very happy marriage)
Mom to my wonderful daughter

02-14-2006, 08:25 AM	#1
MamaToAnna Guest Posts: n/a	My best friend is "babywising" her 4 day old...I am so sad Throughout my best friends pregnancy I have been trying to encourage and uplift her about just how wonderful mothering is! I never overloaded on advice, I just gave it to her when she asked. Except one time, when a mutual friend gave her Babywise and told her what a lifesave this would be for her and her marriage. Well, I didn't say much (although I wanted to rant and rave) I just gave her a copy of several alternative books. I also emailed her links to articles which tell some of the downsides of Babywise. Well her baby arrived this past week. I visited her at her home this weekend and she and her husband both made a point to tell me that they had been making sure they don't hold the baby too much but instead get her to stay in her own bed. "Even when she cries I make sure I don't go get her unless it is time for her feeding because I'll be darned if she is going to run the show around her.. hahaha." This is EXACTLY what her husband said to me. I wanted to throw up. These are good Christian friends who are in the ministry, I thought I knew these people. I did not think they were the kind of people who could heartlessly leave a FOUR DAY OLD baby to cry alone. I was so upset I just tried to keep my composure and assured her it was OK to hold her baby and just to remember that babies need physical touch just as much as they need anything else. That was pretty much it and I left. On the way home I just cried.I cried for her baby but I think I also cried out of selfishness, simply because I feel so isolated sometimes. Why am I looked at like I am NUTS for parenting the way I do, yet someone who puts their 4 day old in bed to cry alone is the smart one, because they are "looking out for their marriage". The ironic twist is that my friend and her husband are always talking about how well behaved my DD is when we go to dinner or when they have come over to our house. Then in the same breath they tell me how their other friend (the one who gave them Babywise) how her child is always in a bad mood and upset about everything. Now I am not saying my child is perfect by any means, but I do believe that day nurturing as well as night nurturing plays a big role in how content and joyful my little 14-month-old is. Why don't people understand that true parenting takes patience and time? And that this type of parenting won't give you a bad marriage. It might give you a happy child and a happy marriage. MamaToAnna Wife to my wonderful hubby (in a very happy marriage) Mom to my wonderful daughter

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