BTDT, ever gone through periods where you just can't do it?

[ThePottersDaughter]

Our family is having a really hard time right now. Which results in my children watching tv for the majority of the day most days. I am really depressed and just feel like I need to get away from them a lot of the time but a break never comes. Letting the kids just watch tv all day contributes even more to my depression. Especially now that ds1 is 5.5 I know he should be doing things and playing and learning but for the majority of the winter we haven't done anything structured, and when things get really bad (I'm feeling really sick and tired) he just doesn't do much of anything.
I just feel like a total failure as a parent and homeschooling mom right now. There isn't even a good school around us to send him to if I wanted to. I know things will get better in the spring because we will be able to get outside and I won't be so sick (in my first trimester right now) but I still have another month to go and every day feels like an eternity right now.

I guess I'm just trying to weigh the options in my mind and figure out if I'm cut out for this homeschooling thing. Or maybe it would be better for the kids to try to figure something out school-wise, like maybe we could get vouchers to send them to a private school. Is it normal to have periods of time like this in your homeschooling journey?

[MomtoJGJ]

This is exactly why we school year round. So that when I get in periods like this, or when they are playing happily and enjoying the day, etc, we don't have to do school. And before they are old enough to legally have to school I just totally don't worry about it at all!

[mamajane]

Your children are really young. I wouldn't make decisions about putting them in school based on your winter/1st trimester doldrums.
If tv's all you can manage right now, maybe just try to see that a lot of it is somewhat educational so you feel better about it. All the Liberty's Kids and a lot of Zoboomafoos are on youtube (those are just examples of free shows I feel good about letting my kids watch). My kids all learned their letter sounds from Leapfrog's Letter factory.

[ThePottersDaughter]

Thanks, I'm not so worried about them "learning" in terms of facts/reading/ect. They are smart kids, and ds1 is reading books on his own. More just that We are really disconnected right now and they are very bored. I feel like we are all developing really bad habits because I don't have the energy to dicipline them or anything right now. I think I sometimes think about sending them to school because during this time I have started questioning whether I am strong enough to be the sole teacher/care provider of my children every waking moment of every day.

[MomtoJGJ]

It gets easier to make sure they are learning... It also gets easier to "fix" boredom as they get older. It will not always be so hard to be the sole everything because you won't always be the sole everything They have each other to fill that, plus they understand a whole lot more. Like today, I've spent about an hour total focused on my children... the rest of the time they've been doing stuff themselves. Of course, we also haven't done school yet but we will... we'll get to it.

[ThePottersDaughter]

That is so encouraging to think about... but I have a really hard time believing it will be like that in our family.

[MomtoJGJ]

I totally remember feeling the way you are feeling a few years ago. When I was expecting #4 I thought "my life is going to be awful forever" ... now I only have those thoughts... once a week or so sometimes it's only every couple of weeks, when I stupidly say something like "things have been going well lately"

[ShangriLewis]

Totally normal.

Have you tried unisom at night. It was the most amazing thing ever for me!

Can your dh help you make up some learning boxes? Take a plastic box or laundry basket and label it for the day of the week. Load it up for items for that day only. Take it out on that day and put it up at dinner time. You can include some toys, crafty stuff, even special snacks that are shelf stable.

Can you get out of the. house at all for a walk? Sometimes just getting out helps. Do you have any girlfriends that could come over to hang out and mix things up a bit?

[Quiteria]

I know that when my oldest was around that age (just a little younger), I put her in preschool and then kindergarten because I felt like I was not getting anything worthwhile done during a difficult pregnancy and immediate postpartum. But, when I was preg again with my youngest, we were in a much better place, with added maturity for oldest, and a more concrete plan/routine. We've had a few times like this with the younger kids, in which I've let them watch too much tv while I work with oldest or tend the baby, but I'm finding that we are able to crawl back out of that with a plan...something concrete in my hands that I can open and try with them, without having to muster a lot of pre-planning or materials. I think reading is the main thing, which he is doing. Keep incorporating that where you can...reading tv shows like Between the Lions and Word World and Super Why and such, and bedtime stories or reading to him when you want to sit down on the couch for a while, and sounding out road signs and grocery store labels, etc.

[ThePottersDaughter]

Part of the problem with making "learning boxes" or anything right now is that DH works rediculously long hours and by the time he gets home I pretty much crash. I don't even have the energy to pick up the house before I go to bed. I just don't have time or energy for any extra prep.

I wish we could get out of the house, but we usually don't have a car. Plus I've been so sick that the times we do try to go places end up being even more of a disaster than if we had just stayed home. Even having friends over right now feels stressful. Mainly because they all have kids who are at least a year younger than ds1 which requires a lot more energy mediating and cleaning up than
When it's just me and my kids. Although in tw spring when we can meet up at parks (the kids get along better and there's no clean up) I know it will be helpful to be able to get together with friends.

I usually get the winter blues in January or so every year.
I finally just accept it, and expect it. I try not to be to hard on myself, and use the month of January as a time when I try to re-energize and get motivated again by really digging into Gods word and re-reading my favorite parenting and homeschooling books.

During this time-- my kids watch alot of movies.

By February-- things start to get better.

One thing that helps me--- make sure I am eating right, drinking 8 glasses of water a day, and getting exercise and 20 minutes of sun.
(the sun part doesn't always happen ; ) )

Now--- all that said.

Do you have someone to talk to (besides us)??

Just in case you are depressed.
I hope you are not offended by that-- I know several people that get really depressed this time of the year.

Hugs to you

[ThePottersDaughter]

I do kind of have people to talk to, but the problem is that a lot of my friends, even though some of them are older than me, only have children who are younger, and haven't been through as much marriage-wise or parenting-wise as I have.
I know the problem is just that I'm depressed. But I'm not really sure what to do about it. It hasn't been like this in years past but after losing a baby last year, and my husband deciding he's not so sure he believes in Jesus anymore, add in a few other smaller things and now this new pregnancy, and I'm just not in a good place- emotionally, hormomally, mentally, spiritually, physically, etc.

What are your favorite parenting/homeschooling books, btw?

[Quiteria]

Mission of Motherhood / Ministry of Motherhood ...not sure which of those I started reading, but I need to dig it out again b/c it was really encouraging to me.

[JustMandy]

If you are on fb, look up "The Busy Homeschool Mom" her post today really speaks to the OP.

[heartofjoy]

Your kids are still very young!

I birthed my 4th child in January of my oldest's Kindergarten year. I mostly just laid around and let them play. I was lucky that my kids were good about playing on their own so I didn't have to rely on tv all day, but you can bet they were watching 3 hours a day or so! They watched alot of Signing Time videos because my baby at the time was late to talk and would scream when we didn't understand her. They watched all those videos and started signing everything. It was a fun obsession that lasted a while!

I have periods of time when I feel like I can't do this anymore. We all do. It's totally normal!

I read lots of stuff on relaxed homeschooling and unschooling when my kids were little. It gave me the confidence I needed to let them explore on their own while I was sick or tired from pregnancy or having a newborn. hang in there! It does get better.