need help--lots of discipline scenarios

[Beauty4Ashes]

I hope that what I was doing the past couple of days is not punitive. that was not my intent. It appears that my ds don't take me seriously. They will copy me when I raise my voice to them, yell NOOOO at me, etc. Over the weekend we were doing some heavy duty yard work, cutting back trees and the like. I told them that if they cannot stay out of the yard, I will have to put them either in the basement or in their rooms. I cannot have them running off the deck and into the yard when there are chainsaws and hedge trimmers and pruning sheers and debris around. If they went to their room, there was the risk that they would run out the front door or they have tried to push the screen from the window with their heads. So to the basement it was because the door could be locked; they have toys there and potty chairs if needed. They screamed in the basement. We eventually put a baby gate across the deck which worked for a while, until they figured out how to scale that, so it was back to the basement.

When they would fight, I would put one of them in the basement (the instigator) because I needed to separate them and give them time alone.

I've been insisting that they stay in their chairs to eat--I know, I know, I should have done that a long time ago.

I found that my boundaries have been too wishy washy, so I have to put much tighter boundaries on them. I was being permissive and then really punitive (slapping, yelling) because I felt like my hands were tied. I'm trying to find a way to build my relationship with them because it feels like it deteriorated a bit. At least when I put them in the basement, I felt in control and I could do it calmly without raising my voice or lashing out at them.

Bedtime. Last night I put them in their rooms to go to sleep. They weren't ready to sleep and ended up talking and giggling for a lot longer than I would have liked, but they stayed in their rooms. Is that problematic? Should I have tried to parent them to sleep? I find myself getting testy if I have to stay in with them, and inevitably dd needs me.

I need feedback. Thanks!

[The Tickle Momster]

The bedtime sounds fine.

I think for the yard work time, I would have left dh to do the heavy work and gone in with the boys for a while. Or done the yard work myself and had dh play with the kiddos.