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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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02-20-2009, 03:56 PM | #1 |
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A.K.A. joyinthspirit
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: stuck in a labor time warp
Posts: 11,730
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Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
My best friend is into totally controlling her children. That was what her mom did to her. That is what she does to her kids now. They are big into James Dobson. My heart is just aching, because I am not into controlling my kids. I want them to learn inner control . Most of the time I fail, and when I do I get reminders from her way to often how much school would help my autistic three year old because he would learn by mimicking other kids. I'm so frustrated that everyone seems to think it is just fine (actually necessary) for me to pawn my child off to the government in order for him to learn. Why is it that just because he has autism that automatically makes me incapable of meeting his needs at home in other peoples eyes? It doesn't make sense to me. I think we are in a learning curve, plus three is just a hard age any way, for both of us. I don't think just because it is hard is a reason to throw in the towel and become a super control freak mom! Really, I just want to cry. Other than GCM there is no body in my life that really supports GD or homeschool or respects it. My support system is stinky right now. :/
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02-20-2009, 04:09 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Fearless
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,845
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
Yeah, let's be sure to send him somewhere he can learn to imitate yard-apes. That's a great solution!
You're doing what's right for you.
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Mama of one Size Small Baby Girl, born August 2004. and one in heaven EDD December 2003. |
02-20-2009, 04:12 PM | #3 |
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
While outside resources can be wonderful in giving you extra support when needed, it isn't necessary for everyone, all the time. YOU are your child's mother. YOU are the expert.
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02-20-2009, 07:15 PM | #4 |
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Posts: 38,127
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
Public school was an absolute *disaster* for my special needs child. The *only* reason he hasn't been hospitalized this year is because he's home with me.
You're doing fine. |
02-20-2009, 07:32 PM | #5 |
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 11,249
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
You are making important choices for your family's well being - not easy, but your hard work is sure to come back to you.. We reap what we sow.
You are right to be frustrated at the lack of support and encouragement. Keep up the good work Mama!! Three IS a hard age... |
02-20-2009, 07:40 PM | #6 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
Quote:
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02-20-2009, 07:41 PM | #7 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 30,329
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
Your lo needs your love and attention even more because of his special needs. You are doing a great job!
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02-20-2009, 08:09 PM | #8 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Into the sky, all the way out.
Posts: 7,377
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
Quote:
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Hi! I'm Robin married 13 years to my best friend mama to two ~ 9 & 6 years old "Don't they teach recreational maths anymore?"
~The Doctor |
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02-20-2009, 08:12 PM | #9 |
Deactivated
A.K.A. joyinthspirit
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: stuck in a labor time warp
Posts: 11,730
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from frien
I probably made her mad today. We saw a Dobson book in the thrift shop and she was starting to talk about him. I just told her I'm not into "control".
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02-20-2009, 08:18 PM | #10 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Into the sky, all the way out.
Posts: 7,377
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
Quote:
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Hi! I'm Robin married 13 years to my best friend mama to two ~ 9 & 6 years old "Don't they teach recreational maths anymore?"
~The Doctor |
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02-20-2009, 08:23 PM | #11 |
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My miracle blessing who brings tears to my eyes!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: In Constant Confusion
Posts: 22,110
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
Well, she is controlling her kids. If that makes her mad, she should stop.
Afa the school/autism thing, I am so with you. My 5 y/o has Asperger's. If I get ONE more "you should put him in Kindergarten" comment, I may truly lose my cool. My favorite was when I was told to put him in a special needs pre-school so he could learn how to socialize. How is he going to learn how to socialize from other special needs kids????? He might learn their bad habits, but uh, NO THANK YOU. Cannot wait to meet you. |
02-20-2009, 08:24 PM | #12 |
Deactivated
A.K.A. joyinthspirit
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: stuck in a labor time warp
Posts: 11,730
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from frien
I did but the nagging is getting to me. I love my friends....but we don't think the same.
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02-20-2009, 08:25 PM | #13 |
Deactivated
A.K.A. joyinthspirit
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: stuck in a labor time warp
Posts: 11,730
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from frien
For the sound of things, we are going to the perfect place for me to just me comfortable with being who we are (as in non conformist). lol.
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02-20-2009, 09:41 PM | #14 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Orlando, FL area
Posts: 5,805
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
It doesn't make any sense to me, either. YOU are his parent, no one will have his best interest at heart like you do. Not even the "best" teachers.
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Tasha Married to Jeffery (16 years) gently mothering, unschooling/relaxed homeschooling, WAHM, schooled in Sociology (FSU) Abby (15) Lexi (15) Loralai (13) Noah (11) |
02-20-2009, 10:15 PM | #15 |
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Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Posts: 8,685
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Re: Just need some encouragement, sort of a vent, under some pressure from friends
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