no greater joy/the Pearls

[ArmsOfLove]

I see that you have only 2 posts and I finsd it rather odd that this is one of them I certainly hope that you did not register here for the purpose of defending the Pearls. If you did, you will find that we have very strong boundaries that we are willing to protect with kindness and firmness and this will not be welcome.

[illinoismommy]

Originally Posted by Mommy2three

I admit that the recent child abuse murder based on the Pearl's teaching is sad and should be treated as what it is: child abuse. The thing is that my dh and I get their magazine No Greater Joy I use the articles on homeschooling and their daughters, Rebekah and Shalom write very well done columns about herb usage, craft ideas {the recipe for peanut butter playdough went over HUGE with my three little nieces and both my girls}. The way my dh and I see it, is as with anything out there nowadays, you have to use common sense and decide what works best for YOUR family and their needs

So are you saying that you haven't read the Pearls materials?

From their website, here is the way to punish your child if they resist your spankings,

"When she screams or flees, calmly follow through by physically subduing her. Sit on her, if you have to, and slowly explain that you will not tolerate this resistance. Explain in a normal tone (She will eventually stop screaming and listen) that you are going to give her, say, five licks for the original offense and an additional two licks for the fit. Slowly apply the five licks, counting out loud. When I say slowly, I mean with a thirty second gap between each lick and a calm explanation to the screaming child that you are not the least impressed except that you are going to spank harder and she still gets the additional two licks plus one more for her ongoing screaming. When you have finally arrived at five well- anticipated and carefully counted licks, say, “OK, your spanking is over; that is the five licks you got for hitting your brother, but now I must give you two more for trying to run away.” Give her one lick and say, “Now, that is one of the licks for running away; you have one more coming.” Give the second lick, and then calmly and slowly explain that all her licks are over now, except for the one additional lick she incurred for continuing to scream during the spanking. After you have finished, tell her that you are going to let her up now, if she stops screaming, otherwise you are going to give her one additional lick. If she stops, or at least makes a great effort to, then you have won. You may never have to go through this horrible time again. But, if she is continuing to scream, you have the option of continuing to warn and spank, or of ceasing here with a parting warning: “Next time you better not run and throw a fit; for if you do, you will only get more licks and harder ones.”"


This is not the worst I have seen. You should see some of their other ideas, such as how to teach an 18 month old to "come at first call."

Pearls teachings ARE abuse.... there is no separation...

[CelticJourney]

I see that you have only 2 posts and I finsd it rather odd that this is one of them

My thoughts as well. What Pearl teaches is child abuse - the fact that someone took that message to the furthest extent doesn't change that the message is seriously flawed both from a emotional and spiritual standpoint. The only common sense I can see coming into play with Pearl's materials is the decision to stay away from it all together.

The only common sense I can see coming into play with Pearl's materials is the decision to stay away from it all together.

Yep, I agree.

[4gifts]

Originally Posted by MarynMunchkins

There are so many other authors out there with similar good ideas that don't promote child abuse. I see no reason to support or condone the Pearls because they have a few good ideas mixed in with the lies they teach.

I agree! There are many, better ways to learn homeschooling tips, crafts,family time ideas...anything.I admit, I thought because the Pearls used the word ministry....that they would be a reliable source for info.(this was years ago) This thought was before I knew anything about them and before the first issue of their magazine came to my door.(which comes no more!) I do not promote them..nor could I with a clear conscience.

Wow! I never meant to stir up a huge fuss or debate. I aplogize if I have offended anyone in anyway shape or form. I found out from a friend of mine that some social work majors he know are reading "To Train Up a Child" to learn what look for in abused children. It's sad that some people feel that abusing their child is the only form of discpline that there is. Trust me, when I was a teenager, being grounded on the week-ends was enough to straighten me up!! I read where one mom took her teenage daughters hairspray away from her girls.
I once again apologize.Please forgive me...

denise

[DogwoodMama]

It's OK, sometimes things just don't "read" like we meant them to. Thanks for clarifying!

[4gifts]

Originally Posted by Mommy2three

Wow! I never meant to stir up a huge fuss or debate. I aplogize if I have offended anyone in anyway......
I once again apologize.Please forgive me...

denise

glad to meet you and no offense taken at all

[ArmsOfLove]

I think you'll find we're pretty willing to not take offense at things I know there are good things here and there in their stuff but I've found that the good stuff is so few and far between and better found through better sources

[illinoismommy]

Originally Posted by Mommy2three

Wow! I never meant to stir up a huge fuss or debate. I aplogize if I have offended anyone in anyway shape or form. I found out from a friend of mine that some social work majors he know are reading "To Train Up a Child" to learn what look for in abused children. It's sad that some people feel that abusing their child is the only form of discpline that there is. Trust me, when I was a teenager, being grounded on the week-ends was enough to straighten me up!! I read where one mom took her teenage daughters hairspray away from her girls.
I once again apologize.Please forgive me...

denise

Hi welcome to GCM.... we don't hold grudges so its all good

I figured you just didnt read their stuff....

[Lantern Light Mama]

Forgiven. (we just dont care for the pearls much, can you tell?)

[luvinmykidz]

[Benjaminswife]

The way I see the Pearls is that their regular advice is a form of Child Abuse. What happened with the murder is a result of going even further with the abuse. I just don't get how Christians can following their training advice and I think it is best that we don't follow their other advice either.

Originally Posted by Mommy2three

Wow! I never meant to stir up a huge fuss or debate. I aplogize if I have offended anyone in anyway shape or form. I found out from a friend of mine that some social work majors he know are reading "To Train Up a Child" to learn what look for in abused children. It's sad that some people feel that abusing their child is the only form of discpline that there is. Trust me, when I was a teenager, being grounded on the week-ends was enough to straighten me up!! I read where one mom took her teenage daughters hairspray away from her girls.
I once again apologize.Please forgive me...

I really can't make heads or tails out of what you are trying to say here. Have you read any of the Pearl's books? You say that you read their newsletter in your original post, and in that post you seem to support them. In this post you really don't say whether you do or don't support them...and by extension, whether you believe that their methods are abusive or not.

Jenn

Have I read the Pearl's stuff? Yes, and in fact I recently reread it. The more I read it, the worse I feel! I just cannot see supporting a group that be so into child abuse. In fact, I'll probably will just cancel my NGJ newsletter once we get moved. I've tried their methods in the past and all it does is cause more problems then I started with.
Take it from me, their methods DO NOT work!!! .The only reason why I even considered using their methods is that Emily wasn't listening and would refuse to cooperate with me or my husband. {We didn;t know that at the time she was 90 % deaf because of her eardrums being blocked! Once that got corrected she was okay )
I suggest that before anyone even considers using the Pearl's methods that they look into alternatives or if there might be a medical reason for their child's problematic behavior.
Hope I've cleared up any confusion for ya'll...

denise