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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
A public forum.
Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 03-19-2005, 11:23 AM   #1
BluegrassMama
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Default Pearl spam

Db and SIL are spamming the whole clan with offers of free Pearl books . Apparently if I just read DP's latest marriage book, dh and I could have a "heavenly" marriage like db and sil now do. (we're fine, thanks) They bought a huge box of books and tapes which they would like to give free, to everyone they know.

Also the email informed us that the Pearls' teachings on child training, marriage, and Bible are undeniable Bible truths

If there's anything that makes me throw a its my peers insisting that we need to follow their gurus.

Lately if Michael Pearl says it, db believes it. How in the world did a sibling of mine get so mesmerized?

thanks, I feel better now. almost.
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Old 03-19-2005, 11:40 AM   #2
BluegrassMama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

If its not okay to discuss emails please let me know. I thought as long as I didn't quote it was ok?
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Old 03-19-2005, 11:59 AM   #3
DogwoodMama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

I don't think there's a problem with it.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, how frustrating!
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Old 03-19-2005, 12:13 PM   #4
BluegrassMama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

Thank you! What I wish I could reply is, "thanks, but their parenting method turned out to be extremely harmful of our family , and we're not willing to do a Pearl experiment on our marriage."

But I won't, because even I can tell its snarky, and we do want the little cousins to be able to play together at Christmastime
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Old 03-19-2005, 12:15 PM   #5
DogwoodMama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

I know... I'm always biting my lip when my SIL starts spouting off (ezzo-like stuff, pro-CIO, etc.)... talk about learning how to be gracious under pressure. Charlotte adores her cousins so I'm not willing to jeopardize the relationship at all!
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Old 03-19-2005, 01:45 PM   #6
sadie
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Default Re: Pearl spam

How incredibly rude to insinuate that there is something wrong with your marriage b/c it's not exactly like her's

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Old 03-19-2005, 01:48 PM   #7
greenemama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

eat some bean dip and then gag yourself and puke on the book when she's trying to hand it to you.

just kidding.

the pearls are psycho -- beyond punitive. i'm literally ill when i hear their names mentioned, let alone hear about people employing their abusive methods.

i'm sorry you're going through this.
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Old 03-19-2005, 02:54 PM   #8
katiekind
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Default Re: Pearl spam

Amy, that's awful. I really don't understand how it is that the Pearl books inspire others to buy box-fuls of them to give away to everyone. And for a family member to do that...it seems so insensitive! I'm sure he means well.

I think you could just say, "you know, everyone has their own ways of doing things, we're very happy with our marriage and our family." If they don't get the message you could add, "and we're familiar with the Pearls, I guess you could say we're just not as impressed by their ideas as some people are."

And then change the subject--quick!

Good to see you here!!
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Old 03-19-2005, 03:12 PM   #9
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Default Re: Pearl spam

or you could try "I heard that books sales were down so low, they've started giving them away........" maybe not completely nice, but possibly effective
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Old 03-19-2005, 05:00 PM   #10
Wholly Mama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

((((((Amy))))))
I'm with mollie with how I feel about the Pearls!
I recently had a Pearl run-in with a dear friend of mine. It makes me so sad to see others following their ideas.
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Old 03-19-2005, 05:11 PM   #11
sadie
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Default Re: Pearl spam

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmh1013
or you could try "I heard that books sales were down so low, they've started giving them away........" maybe not completely nice, but possibly effective
That's pretty funny :P
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Old 03-19-2005, 05:29 PM   #12
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Default Re: Pearl spam

It is so hard to hold my tongue when family is butting into my life. I really feel for you!
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Old 03-19-2005, 05:59 PM   #13
Katherine
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Default Re: Pearl spam

I think I might be tempted to say something like:

I am already familiar with the Pearl's teachings; I do not agree with them. Could you please leave me off the mailing list when you are sending out emails regarding the Pearls? Thanks!
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Old 03-19-2005, 06:15 PM   #14
BluegrassMama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

Oh, I'm cryin'....

Where else but GCM are the mamas so sympathetic, helpful, and hilarious?

Well, as much as I adore Jen's and Mollie's suggestions ROFL I think I'll use Kathy's first one: "Everyone has their own way of doing things, and we're really happy with our marriage and our family"...and if that doesn't work, then Palil's, and if that doesn't work somebody better hide the bean dip and the spoon.

you know, the more I think about this, the more torqued I am. How rude to insinuate that we need help. Dh and I are pretty thrilled with each other and even if we weren't, whose business is that?
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Old 03-20-2005, 05:49 AM   #15
TulipMama
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Default Re: Pearl spam

*blush*

You know, after we used Babywise, any time I got into a conversation with a preggers woman, I'd recommend it and tell people to call our church and tell them where they could buy it. I was a Babywise missionary. I was soooo sure it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Sooo. . . I understand your siblings. . . *blush*

And I know at that time, no one thing you would have said would have made me change my mind about BabyWise. But, if you had said you weren't interested, I would have probably left you alone. (And silently thought, "Oh, those poor people. . . They'll have a demanding, me-centered baby and never get any sleep. . ." Yep, I was pretty judgemental. . .)


Like I said, there was no ONE thing that you could have said to change my mind. What it took were lots of little things, over time. So, if you felt like mentioning a couple of things and the opportunity was right--those seeds may bear fruit over time. . .

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