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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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01-30-2010, 07:18 PM | #1 | |
Rose Garden
Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above.
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,331
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Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
I read the first chapter of TTUAC today and I'm really hoping he's taking this verse out of context:
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01-30-2010, 07:20 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Barrens of Texas
Posts: 5,152
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
Well, it didn't work out too well did it? If you take that view it seems like you'd have the view that God set us up to fail. I don't think that was the point of the tree in the garden.
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01-30-2010, 07:26 PM | #3 |
Rose Garden
Striving to be a gentle mama and enjoying my littles.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,696
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
I so despise how he thinks that we must put temptation in front of our children to train them. It seriously makes me ill.
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*Kara* Sharing life with a special man Mama to J - 11, J - 9, & A - 5 & Two angels 9/2007 & 1/2008
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01-30-2010, 07:28 PM | #4 |
Rose Garden
Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above.
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,331
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
why did he put the tree in the garden? I definitely don't think He sets us up to fail, and I would never do that to my children.
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01-30-2010, 07:29 PM | #5 |
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
That's my question, as well. *Why* put the tree in the middle of the Garden? Why not put it were they couldn't get at it?
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01-30-2010, 07:31 PM | #6 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
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Hi! I'm Robin married 13 years to my best friend mama to two ~ 9 & 6 years old "Don't they teach recreational maths anymore?"
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01-30-2010, 07:35 PM | #7 |
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
So, with this reasoning, are we supposed to hire a hooker to try to seduce our teenage sons, just to see if they can withstand the temptation? Seriously?
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01-30-2010, 07:44 PM | #8 |
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
If obedience were our only option it wouldn't be obedience. He wanted us to choose to love him and obey him.
If I made a robot that I programmed to wake me up every morning with a warm cup of coffee and tell me how much it loves me, how wonderful I am and how beautiful I look today, it doesn't matter - it's a robot. It was programmed to do that and it's doing that because that's all it can do - it isn't genuine. It doesn't really love me because it's not choosing to love me, it doesn't have any other options. God gave Adam and Eve only one thing that they couldn't do. If he hadn't given them the opportunity to potentially disobey, it wouldn't matter how much they obeyed - it wouldn't have been genuine. I love the people I love because I have made a decision to love them. If I didn't have a choice, it wouldn't be real love. THAT BEING SAID: The Pearls are taking this whole thing way out of context. That's extreme and not fitting with the inconceivable love God has for his children. He doesn't want us to fail - He wants us to really love Him. Last edited by Autumn; 02-11-2010 at 07:03 PM. |
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01-30-2010, 07:59 PM | #9 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: in the land of grits and sweet tea y'all
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
This is probably not going to be a popular opinion here, so I'm prepared for Please hear me out on this and don't hit me just yet. I don't think God put the tree there to temp us, but I do think there are things that are within our reach that he does not remove from our grasp that he teaches us to stay away from. For example, in the NT he says that gentiles are to abstain from blood. Blood is still in people, in animals, in our food, etc. He didn't do away with blood, just because we are not to mess with it. He just gives us the instruction to stay away from it. In the Torah, the command is given to abstain from unclean meat, but those animals are not wiped off the globe, we just have to stay away from them in our diet (if we are TO). He tells us not to look at another with lust, but He doesn't blind us. He tells us not to be sexually immoral, but He doesn't render us unable to do so - not by removing our physical abilities, our emotional abilities, or by removing the opposite sex from our interactions. All those things are still within our grasp, we are just instructed and taught not to go there.
I don't think it's healthy to remove any obstacle from out child's grasp and let them run 'willy nilly' - it's just not what God does with us. However, I don't agree with the idea that He put it there to tempt us either. There is a difference between doing something to tempt someone and teaching them not to get involved with something that is plainly there and that we have to learn to work around. Like dressing modestly. We are to be modest in our dress so as not to tempt other men, but we don't have to cut our breasts off so they don't show, ya know? There is balance. We have to be careful about working with the opposite sex. We need to keep things professional and not be one-on-one with a person of the opposite sex if we can help it, certainly not setting ourselves up for temptation, but women don't go work in environments where only other women work and vice versa. We just learn to navigate around it within godly limits. I think that's the hard part of parenting - finding the boundaries and teaching them to our children, so they will learn to apply boundaries to their own lives. I have a friend who doesn't want to teach her children boundaries at all and there have been very uncomfortable situations with her children on many occasions. There has to be balance. Self-control - that's part of the fruit of the spirit, and it has to be developed.
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Always Seeking Him... Daughter to The King! Wife to Hubby since Dec 03! Mama to Mr J since Dec 05, Miss E since Dec 07, and Baby H since Oct 10, and Baby M since 12/30/11 With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! ~Psalm 119:10 |
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02-03-2010, 07:03 PM | #10 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Eastern CA
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
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A trash can has a purpose and *also* MAY be a temptation for a child to get into. A trash can placed in the middle of the living room for the *sole purpose* of enticing a child to touch it and then hitting them is not the same thing.
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02-04-2010, 08:50 AM | #11 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: in the land of grits and sweet tea y'all
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
Quote:
I don't think God put it there to tempt them - I think it served another purpose. I don't know what, but I agree that He didn't just plant it, or as mentioned before allow it to be there, just for the sole purpose of temptation. I am NOT agreeing with the Pearl's on this - I think they are WAY off base and do twist scripture and have a sadistic view of God, themselves, and children. It's sad. I'm just saying I don't think that we should remove every thing out of our children's path because God didn't remove everything from our path, even if it is tempting. I am not saying *put* something there for the sole purpose of tempting.
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Always Seeking Him... Daughter to The King! Wife to Hubby since Dec 03! Mama to Mr J since Dec 05, Miss E since Dec 07, and Baby H since Oct 10, and Baby M since 12/30/11 With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! ~Psalm 119:10 |
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02-20-2010, 07:03 PM | #12 |
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
bbl
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02-18-2010, 09:37 PM | #13 |
Rosebud
people i know love "i can has cheezeburger dot com"
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: kansas
Posts: 114
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Re: Pearl's "plant your tree in the midst of the garden"
oh dear...these people are crazy . due to all the media attention, i checked out their website in case somone i know is interested in their methods. i'm speechless .
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tara...wife to DH, mama to DD(12/04), DS(10/06), DD (12/08) "if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans" "life should be a little nuts, otherwise it's just a bunch of Tuesdays strung together" |
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