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Old 10-22-2019, 07:03 PM   #1
blondie
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Default If you are naturally more messy

What helps you? What would help you?

I have been invited by my SIL to help her reset their home. I have not been there to see what we are facing as far as mess, but am going this weekend to be the hands and feet of housekeeping Jesus. .

She struggles with routine and is expecting AND has a toddler and a 3 year old. Busy, tired mama. She is also very meticulous and seems to get stuck in overthinking mode. Very overwhelmed. Does not get much help. I have been offering to help her for a long time.

I am going to maybe tell her about Fly Lady, or Clean Mama. I am naturally more tidy, but by no stretch of the imagination am I always on top of ANYTHING around here.

They have lived there 3+ years and still don’t have a living room rug or any shelves in the unfinished basement laundry corner.
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Old 10-22-2019, 07:52 PM   #2
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

This sounds like what is talked about in a slob comes clean. She has steps for cleaning a 'very messy house'. And her stuff is a lot more functional and less shaming for me.

I tried fly lady and some fo the other things and it was horrable, didnt help the house and put a whole lot of shame and guild on too of everything.

I found the house that cleans itself helpful. But really only after I had gotten things somewhat under controll. A slob comes clean helped me get it under control.

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Old 10-22-2019, 07:55 PM   #3
blondie
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

I am worried that Fly Lady is overwhelming, so I am glad you said that. It is so much to follow. Thank you!

I will look at a Slob comes clean.
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Old 10-22-2019, 07:57 PM   #4
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2011...when-you-dont/

https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2014...a-bigger-mess/


These are good places to start. She also has a podcast, which is how u normally interact with her. If you are going to start I suggest starting at the beginning and listening forward.


She also has tow books but I haven't yet managed to read them.

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Old 10-22-2019, 08:22 PM   #5
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

You might also look at Motivated Moms.

What a blessing this will be for her family.

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Old 10-22-2019, 09:06 PM   #6
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

ADD friendly ways to organize your life is the best

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Old 10-22-2019, 09:13 PM   #7
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

I don’t like to call myself messy but housekeeping is not a natural skill for me. It takes a lot of thought and I find that really exhausting.

What works the best for me is to have a specific room to clean for each day. I also do that rooms laundry.

I use little tricks like setting a timer for 10 minutes or choosing one spot in a room. I also like to have the tasks written out so that I don’t have to remember them. It isn’t that I can’t remember to wipe the counters but that doing so takes energy so having it written out saves that smidge of brain space.
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Old 10-23-2019, 04:11 AM   #8
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

I am not naturally messy . . . but one thing that helped me when I had a baby and a toddler was to think in chunks. NEver ALL that needs to be done.

Is laundry being done? If yes, THEN go to the next, If not do a load of laundry. Give myself a minute to feel accomplishment. Deep breath - it's ok, you have laundry going.

Are dishes done? If Yes go to the next, if no do dishes. Deep breath - if nothing else the laundry is going and dishes are done! That counts! Good job!



I divided my home into areas. I cleaned only the first area. Then if the next day I didn't clean the next area if the first area was clean. So basically main living areas might get cleaned 3 times while bedrooms were ignored. It seems crazy but otherwise I never had a clean house. Plus it BUILT habits. I could manage keeping a third of my home clean, then it stayed clean. Once it stayed clean I could start on keeping part of the next area clean. Plus if you can keep the main area clean then people can stop by and drop off food / this item / whatever and your home looks clean even if it;s not.



I actually still do this now. Except with tween/teen children I am much more advanced. Also I am no longer a SAHM so dh helps. But I still use the but FIRST mentality to keep from get feeling overwhelmed when we get busy. I still ignore the mess in the art / craft room if the rest of the house isn't clean first. . .

Also, I tried Fly Lady and I definitely got some good tips and sometimes made me feel really good but I was a little advanced for her. Like Id get the message - go to your bedroom right now and pick up all the trash on the floor and I'd be why would there be trash on my bedroom floor? <- this is what I mean by naturally messy. But the biggest take away is the "hot spot" - I had this and I was able to overcome it with her help.
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Old 10-23-2019, 05:55 AM   #9
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

flylady and motivated moms have not been helpful to me.
A slob comes clean has been a little helpful, mostly just to listen to, and her decluttering questions help me clean up. It is because I just don't know what to do with stuff. She asks something like "where would I look for this item?" When I am tackling an area, that is what I ask myself.
I think the post is titled something about her two decluttering questions.
I use that first question even when I am tidying up, not just "decluttering" as most would think of it.

It sounds like she is a little like me in just not knowing what to get or what to do. No rugs and no shelves, overthinking and then getting overwhelmed, etc. I can't visualize my own stuff as to how it should be sitting or what to get for storage or where it should go. I have to have it super clearly laid out for me.
Obviously, less stuff is better. If you are able to get an area how it is supposed to be, either take a picture or even better, if it is something that can be labeled, label it. I can totally see the word "laundry detergent" on a shelf without trying, and I will naturally put it the detergent there without thinking about it, but if it is not labeled, I will naturally just stick it wherever. and just because DH organized something in a logical fashion and stuff sits there, I won't remember to put it there without a visual cue. I just won't.
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Old 10-23-2019, 07:07 AM   #10
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

As a naturally messy person, the only thing that has helped me so far is "The House that Cleans Itself" the book was great.
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Old 10-23-2019, 07:26 AM   #11
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

If you can do the physical labor of getting things out of her house, that will be huge. Hold things up and let her tell you if you can donate it or trash it, then make it go away from her house for her.

For the kitchen, take every single thing out of the cupboards if you can and put things back in a way that meets her family's needs. For me, I'm pretty short so we have some things organized in ways that different than you might expect for the cupboard layout, just so I can reach.

The Slob Comes Clean has a really useful concept on containers. Basically, if your stuff doesn't fit in your space, that means you need to get rid of some. For me, that means I need to get rid of some of my spices, rather than buy a new spice shelf to try to find a way to cram more in. It's so "duuuuuh" but necessary for someone like me. So if you can help her by seeing if her containers are a good fit for her space and then fill them with definite "yes" things and if there's room left, sort the rest. If not, byyyyye.

I NEED novelty in my cleaning. For awhile, I tried to meet that with new containers, new products, and it just meant moving things around and adding more to my home. I'm trying now to meet that need with podcasts while I clean, and self-challenges like timing or finishing one space and trying to keep it going for as long as I can.

Assigning myself some clear spaces. Like "this is work space, stuff can't go here." Again, "duuuuuh" but I need the clarity of a plan.
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Old 10-23-2019, 07:31 AM   #12
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

Everything that MegMarch just said!
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Old 10-23-2019, 08:01 AM   #13
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

With having a bunch of littles, I think something like twoplustwo's approach is good. Check off laundry and dishes, then add another task or two on good days. I am a big fan of the daily laundry load rather than sorting/washing several loads on one specific day. Her kids can help at their age with putting away the clean clothes, even if it is just pushing the basket from room to room.

I would focus a lot on helping them declutter. Holding off on organizing purchases is good, but I would suggest some bins for toy rotation.
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Old 10-23-2019, 02:11 PM   #14
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

House That Cleans Itself. Hands down the best thing for figuring out how to set up the house for success in household cleanliness.
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Old 10-23-2019, 03:12 PM   #15
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Default Re: If you are naturally more messy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Llee View Post
House That Cleans Itself. Hands down the best thing for figuring out how to set up the house for success in household cleanliness.
I definitely agree with this. This is by far the best systems book I have seen that would actually work for me.


The slob comes clean heled me dig out so that the systems could work. I am about to have to dog deep and do some work because I clearly didn't have the right systems for after we moved. I need to buy another copy of the house that cleans its self. I had lined to to a friend when the friendship blew up to high heaven and I didn't get the book back.


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