Am I crazy or should this not be this hard?

[ShiriChayim]

I'm a fur mommy! We adopted our first little doggy This week. He's a cute and sweet and normally chill little guy. We got him from the shelter-they got him from a rescue in Alabama, although reportedly he did spend some time in a foster home, so I know he's spent SOME time living with a family. He's about a year and a half old. He needs a LOT of training. He is house trained which is nice, but he doesn't come, sit, stay, get down, or drop it. He also doesn't know how to walk on a leash. Those things I'm pretty confident at dealing with, although I'm starting to consider that perhaps obedience classes might not be a terrible idea for dh and the dog together .

This is the first dog I've owned as an adult. Dh and I are not on the same page with the training at all-he's way more permissive than I am.

Right now, my biggest concern is that I HAVE to be able to leave him alone at the house. We got him a crate for night time, but he got out. We got gates to keep him in the kitchen while I leave, but he got out. Tomorrow I'd like to go to church, but that's being gone about 4 hours and I can't guarantee he'll stay where I want him to stay, but then I think it seems silly to stay home because of the dog. He really doesn't like being left alone-of course this is brand new and he's coming from a shelter so I have to expect that at some point he'll settle down and accept that this is "home" and he's going to be living with us.

And of course, no introductory post is complete without a picture. So...meet our new sweet Alphonso "Fonzie":

[JoannaV]

Do you need a different kind of crate?
We used to leave our dog in the kitchen when we went out, then when he got bigger we had to crate him, but then once he got older he was fine to be left alone. His siblings, who live with various in-laws, are still crated I think.
For quite a while my in-laws would only go to part of the church day on Sunday so that they would not be gone from the puppy for so long. It's not silly to miss activities for the dog - not when you've only just got him and are working on attachment and training etc.

How did he get out of the gate? Did he jump? Our dog jumped twice, once when he was copying another dog. But never did again. So he quite possibly might forget it's an option, especially if you're able to prevent him from doing it again this week.

Our dog is pretty awesome. Great with kids. But I don't really have many tips. I'm really not an animal person, and our dog is untrained in many ways. But it is hard work, it is. Even though your dog isn't a puppy (though still kind of part puppy) and is house trained, it's still going to involve some work. But the more work you put in now, the easier it will be later.

Oh, one thing that really helped our dog adjust to being left alone, compared to his siblings, was that we were often outside whilst he was inside. Nowadays we have a fence so he's normally with us when we're home. But originally we didn't have a fence but we DID have a human baby, and were often busy with projects outside.

[Soliloquy]

Try using wire or twine to make the crate more Houdini proof. Or push the gate side up against a wall.

I agree with you, permissive with a dog is a recipe for disliking your dog. Dogs thrive on consistent rules. They get anxious without them.

[Amber]

What a cutie. I would try to figure out how he got out of the crate and see if you can fix that so he can't escape in the future.

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[MariJo7]

I was in a very similar situation a few year ago. We got a rescue dog that wa about 1 1/2 years old. His first owner was an old grandma, and he was probably a very lovely and cute puppy dog. But he grew up and became the size of a big labrador retriever and with the strenght of a pony. So tha grandma gave the dog to her daughter's family who already had two golden retrievers. It was an impossible equation s they strarted to look for another family...

When we got the dog he had already been in 5 families and every time he was returned with the same message: "this dog is cute but unmanageable". We were his last straw. We were told that if we were not able to keep him and if we would return him also, he would be put down. A really motivating start...

We soon found out HE CAN'T BE LEFT ALONE. Absolutely not. And he pulls like a little pony...

I could tell about his escape adventures another time if it amuses you. I was not amused. We tried everything.

The thing that finally worked was...another dog! I asked my grown up daughter if I could borrow her dog for a while which she agreed to do. It was a good solution for her also because her boy friend appeared to get allergic reactions from that dog.

That did the trick! My DDs dog is an old, little female dog that has grown up in our house and knows our family. Somehow, this little doggie managed to tell our Houndini the Pull-dog that it was OK when we left. "Calm down. The space ship has not left. They will come back." That was a bliss! I was able to go to my work again! DS was able to go to school again!

Houndini the Pulldog is still a difficult dog. It has taken a lot of work to teach him to walk normally on the leash. And DH being permissive with dogs has not helped much. But one little victory has followed the other.

I am not a real dog person and I often dream of a dog free life. But somehow, I like this Houndini the Pulldog. We are not going to send him back and he is not going to be put down.

But we would not have managed without DD's dog, and we still would not. She lives permanently with us now, as a Nanny Dog.

[mamacat]

Ours are hard,very hard.They make lots of work and messes and expense cant really be left alone and go in and out a lot.Not a positive response but there it is

---------- Post added at 03:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:08 PM ----------

Some are just more high needs than others. 2 out of our 3 are very high need dogs

[Maedchen]

I wonder if Fonzi came from our shelter. (I don't know your state, but the Shelby Humane takes trucks of dogs up north.) The facility here is pretty sad at times. They are so overrun with cats and dogs and too few volunteers.

You and your husband need to be on the same wavelength with the discipline!

For walking, have you thought of using a harness instead of just a leash? If he is anxious, maybe some Bach flowers rescue remedy? Maybe for now until he settles down a Thunder shirt would help.

When we got my DD's dog that we trained to be a service dog, he was food aggressive. I would sit beside him and hand him his kibble 1 by 1 and pet and praise. (He still is so nervous when we go to get his nails trimmed and has to walk past the kennel cages at the 'dog spa'.) He was in the shelter for 3 months before we adopted him. We found out a few months ago he was 1 day before being put down. He was left there because he was too big. He is a Great Dane/ Lab mix and is 100 pounds now. He tries to sometimes pull ahead, but my daughter has to use a saddle harness with a handle forhim to help pull her up steps and hills.

Lots of love and consistency should help!