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11-22-2017, 06:51 PM | #16 | |
Rose Garden
Don't mind my faces. They usually don't mean anything.
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,644
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Re: Snapchat?
Quote:
I'm just saying that parents can have open relationship with their teens but still not allow them to have some pieces of technology (for me, it was AIM in high school). I feel like you implied (and perhaps I misunderstood) that the two couldn't coexist, and even though I may not have parented teens yet, I don't think that's true. I don't think parents who say, "You may not have Snapchat" or "You may not have Instagram" don't have open, trusting relationships where they talk about stuff Perhaps their philosophy is just that they want to have boundaries, they want their teens to be in the world but not of the world, they don't want to have their teen be susceptible to sexting and getting genitalia pictures sent to them- whatever the reason, I do not think it means they don't have good relationships And I thought that is what you were implying. Forgive me if I am mistaken ETA: If the OP has a different parenting approach than you do, I think that's ok It also means that perhaps your approach works for your household, which it sounds like it does but it wouldn't work for every household.
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Christine WAHM as writer/editor; part-time high school teacher; wife to pharmacist DH since 7.31.2010 Lila in heaven, 8/2015 DD1 "KO" born 8/2017 DD2 GIRL born 1/2020 Last edited by Virginia; 11-22-2017 at 07:17 PM. |
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11-22-2017, 07:19 PM | #17 |
Rose Garden
I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 28,913
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Re: Snapchat?
I hate Snapchat. For reasons Virginia listed. But I don’t ban technology for 16+ and we’ve allowed Snapchat at age 14!
We don’t ban things for our older teens at all. I thought what Lisa said. My parents barely knew who my friends were much less what I was writing them and talking about. I feel blessed my dd has shared so much of her life but we don’t expect her to share everything. They are well aware sending an inappropriate picture can result in a sexual felony in our state. They know a juvenile sex offender and know how much that has limited their lie. They are aware of the law and that the law abt electronic communication is subject to interpretation. They are aware at 16 they could be tried as an adult. Once given responsibility for a car I feel they are ready to self regulate on social media The teen years are scary, very scary. Teens are illogical and can be difficult. My kids have messed up and continue to mess up. Thank God no mistakes have had long term impact. Every day I pray theyd love god. I pray Id find out if they mess up And that their mistakes would not be life altering. But honestly what expat mom said really rings true. In 7 months my daughter can leave the nest. I want her ready
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~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ” |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to tempus vernum For This Useful Post: | AngelaVA (11-23-2017), kiloyd (11-23-2017), Llee (11-23-2017), tazmom (11-24-2017), WanderingJuniper (11-23-2017) |
11-23-2017, 04:14 AM | #18 | |
Moderator in Celebrations, Cloth Diapering & EC, Empty Arms, Prayer & Praise, and Swap n' Shop
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 27,027
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Re: Snapchat?
Quote:
THIS is the key. Getting to this point can be exhausting and difficult and sometimes scary. But I absolutely agree with this statement.
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married 25 years mom to two young adults (23 and 20) and two teens (17 and 15) |
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The Following User Says Thank You to 2sunshines For This Useful Post: | kiloyd (11-23-2017) |
11-23-2017, 06:20 AM | #19 |
Rose Garden
I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 28,913
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Re: Snapchat?
I AGRee 100% abt boundaries and abt internalizing. it is hard. But I’m still working really hard to give it to God. I’ve recognized at a certain point it becomes their responsibility to work out their faith with us to offer prayer and guidance.
Something I recall all the time is that judging a parent based on kids behaviors and beliefs is like judging Jesus based on Christians behaviors and beliefs. For a long time as a 19-24 I rejected god because of Christians treatment of me. As a parent, when I see a struggling kid I immediately pray for the parent and recognize that it maybbe nothing they’ve done. I’ve watched amazing connected parents have children walk away from them. I’ve walked Punitive Controlling parents with amazing kids. Same w abuse- I’ve seen adults from abusive relationships become amazing godly people. I’ve seen people From abusive Relationships become pedophiles. When it Comes down to it, it’s really up To our children and God. We must “raise our Children In The way they must go” but ultimately it’s between them and God. When I get scared and try to Control Them, I preach this to Myself.
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~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ” |
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11-23-2017, 06:35 AM | #20 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 10,819
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Re: Snapchat?
I love that about judging Jesus by the behavior of Christians.
We allow Snapchat. I’m not a fan mostly because “I”don’t get it but I’ve seen how my daughter uses it and that i don’t have a problem with. I do think there are better options for group communication especially for teens who seriously do not remember details five minutes after they receive them. |
The Following User Says Thank You to WanderingJuniper For This Useful Post: | kiloyd (11-23-2017) |
11-23-2017, 11:13 AM | #21 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 16,108
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Re: Snapchat?
Quote:
---------- Post added at 06:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:07 PM ---------- I need to preach this to myself too.
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ISFJ/P Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 22 (adding a dil in August!) dd1 18 dd2 16 ds2 10 |
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11-23-2017, 01:06 PM | #22 | |
Rose Garden
Don't mind my faces. They usually don't mean anything.
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,644
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Snapchat?
Quote:
For me, it’s not so much about hiding but about being prematurely or inadvertently exposed to things because of the way Snapchat stories work. Like, I am an adult, and I have still seen things on my own friends’ Snapchat stories that I didn’t want to see People can also send you a “private snap,” and you don’t know what it is until you open it. So it could be an unsavory photo. So yeah, maybe we could hide behind landlines and handwritten notes, but I couldn’t sext or receive unsavory photos on a piece of notebook paper or landline...and once I see something, I am the kind of person who can’t unsee it. I don’t think as many teens have Facebook nowadays They seem to think it’s mostly for “us old people” haha. I agree that using Snap for ROTC just seems really silly and unwise. I get that it’s fun. But it isn’t the best choice for communication, imo. I do think if a parent is going to let a kid get Instagram or Snapchat, they should also create an account so they really understand how it works Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Christine WAHM as writer/editor; part-time high school teacher; wife to pharmacist DH since 7.31.2010 Lila in heaven, 8/2015 DD1 "KO" born 8/2017 DD2 GIRL born 1/2020 |
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The Following User Says Thank You to Virginia For This Useful Post: | kiloyd (11-23-2017) |
11-23-2017, 01:39 PM | #23 |
Moderator in Celebrations, Cloth Diapering & EC, Empty Arms, Prayer & Praise, and Swap n' Shop
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 27,027
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Re: Snapchat?
Very true. Both of my teens have informed me of this. I tell them that clearly it is a young and chic app since I have it.
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married 25 years mom to two young adults (23 and 20) and two teens (17 and 15) |
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