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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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04-14-2012, 10:32 AM | #61 | |
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 18,362
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
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Everybody needs to pray about their adoptions, and what they want them to look like. Wanting to raise more babies is a fine reason to want to adopt, but it is vital, no matter what path you choose, to be as educated on ethics as possible. You can't approach adoption from the point of view of wanting to save a child, or rescue a child. Sometimes there is an element of adoption in that, but to move entirely from that motivation is dangerous. It leads to children being put in the position of needing to be "grateful" No child should be made to feel grateful that they were adopted. If they choose that feeling, that is one thing, but when parents go into it with the express purpose of rescuing a child, that sets up a bad dynamic. |
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04-14-2012, 11:43 AM | #62 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Near Boston
Posts: 10,012
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
!!!!!!!!!!! What? Why are they are allowed to do that? What bothers me is the idea of hurting these children for life. They've had enough trauma and don't need more! Those poor cubs!
I would like to be a foster parent. I've done some research on older child adoption and I am not sure if I am mature enough for it because those poor kids will act out and if folks can't have the patience and compassion to deal with them without pain and extreme punishment... urg. It will make it so much worse for them. Adopting because you want to save them is a horrible idea. These kids must be your family and you must be ready to respond to their acting out with love and compassion! Quote:
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Is this love big enough to watch over me? Big enough to let go of me Without hurting me, Like the day I learned to swim?-Kate Bush, The Fog Wielder of the Katana of Lepidoptera and General Randomness. |
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04-14-2012, 01:15 PM | #63 | |
Rose Garden
It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 17,122
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
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Cynthia
"Trust is rebuilt by focusing not on what the other person did or did not do but on critiquing one's own behavior, improving one's trustworthiness, and focusing attention not on words and promises but on actions, attitudes, and ways of being." — Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith The Art of Waking People Up for the many, many wise voices we've lost |
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04-14-2012, 01:57 PM | #64 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Eastern CA
Posts: 9,119
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
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~Emily INTJ, Type 4 Wife to D Mama to: E 12/05 L 7/08 Z 12/10 A 6/14 and J in heaven 2/10 Torah Keeping, Unschooling Family My blog on unschooling and family life: Peace On Dark Nights. |
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04-14-2012, 02:17 PM | #65 |
Rose Garden
It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 17,122
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
Yeah, our last church said the same thing, and was pushing QF mentality.
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Cynthia
"Trust is rebuilt by focusing not on what the other person did or did not do but on critiquing one's own behavior, improving one's trustworthiness, and focusing attention not on words and promises but on actions, attitudes, and ways of being." — Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith The Art of Waking People Up for the many, many wise voices we've lost |
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04-14-2012, 03:33 PM | #66 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Near Boston
Posts: 10,012
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
How dumb. You can't build a strong army if you are doing some of the same stuff they are doing. EI, Reducing women to ONLY having tons of babies, tormenting said babies with soul destroying hitting, women not having an equal education to men. What are they THINKING? It doesn't seem like a healthy mentality at all...
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Is this love big enough to watch over me? Big enough to let go of me Without hurting me, Like the day I learned to swim?-Kate Bush, The Fog Wielder of the Katana of Lepidoptera and General Randomness. |
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04-14-2012, 04:07 PM | #67 |
Rose Garden
Not Sharing Exuberantly Anymore
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 9,507
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
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04-14-2012, 04:30 PM | #68 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 14,288
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
Sally Clarkson is wonderful. Her blog is www.itakejoy.com. She has some amazing books out on mothering such as The Ministry Of Motherhood and The Mission of Motherhood. Definitely check her out.
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Happily married to DH. Mama to: Ladybug (13), Lamb (12), Miss Mousie (11), Billy Goat (9), Wren and Hedgehog (5)! |
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04-16-2012, 03:17 AM | #69 | |
Deactivated
being oppressed means the absence of choices - bell hooks
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Location: Germany
Posts: 8,892
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
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It isn't healthy. |
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04-23-2012, 01:52 PM | #70 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 11,752
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Re: Above Rubies and failed adoptions
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Anna INfp (I think) single mum to DS 8 & DD 6 enjoying the adventure of WOH p/t Wielder of the Palette Knife of Chocolaty Brownieness rejoicing with those who have escaped abuse, and praying for those still trapped Unite! “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” - Galileo Galilei |
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