Combating destructive "play"

Charlie U · 04-29-2012, 02:07 PM

In an 11 year old.

She took putty or spackel - some sort of wall patch, and smeared it on untreated drywall, a speaker and a chair, ruining those items, the putty knife (which actually wasn't a putty knife, but something of dh's) and the putty.

Today she got a hold of WD-40, caulk, and grease. Smeared those items on the swingset. It won't come off.

These are expensive items she's ruining, with the exception of the WD-40. I can't realistically ask her to replace the items. I don't think.

I told dh that I remember playing with stuff that I wasn't supposed to after I cleaned up about half a can of shaving cream she squeezed all over a towel. (Super easy clean up.) But, I also cleaned up after myself and once was rather enough.

Line of sight supervision is exhausting. We went down that road last time. She was only allowed to be in the bathroom or bedroom alone.

Calee · 04-29-2012, 04:53 PM

Asking for clarification....

Why didn't she clean up the mess? (Specifically the shaving cream that you cleaned up)

swimming with sharks · 04-29-2012, 05:07 PM

sounds all sensory....can you up the input and line of sight?

Charlie U · 04-29-2012, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calee

Asking for clarification....

Why didn't she clean up the mess? (Specifically the shaving cream that you cleaned up)

The shaving cream was on a towel that I picked up to put in the wash. Some smooshed out when I picked the towel up. The main issue was the amount she wasted.

I can go back to line of sight at all times. It's just very, very stressful for me.

klpmommy · 04-29-2012, 05:30 PM

it sounds like some sensory play might help her.

There is a thread in LE about it. My big kids love sensory play as much as my littles. And I think they need it just as much.

Also, P *needs* heavy exercise on a very regular basis. I make him push the reel mower, do jumping jacks, run laps for time. Playing "escape" with me is another helpful thing b/c he is working against my weight and strength. When he gets that heavy energy out it really seems to help with other areas.

Charlie U · 04-29-2012, 07:51 PM

Well, big muscle movement is hard to get her. We had to withdraw from dance.

She went horseback riding on Saturday and she was a completely different child. She was calm, asked to be touched - back rub, shoulder rub, that kind of thing. I need to figure out how to get her more.

Kiara.I · 04-29-2012, 09:41 PM

Would she do an exercise or dance video, with you or by herself? That would be one way to get some large motor exercise.

Or of course there's dance in the living room to music. There are obstacle courses you can build with tables, chairs, furniture, hoops, string laid out on the floor.

If you have a tree sending her out to climb it could work. And yes, put her in charge of cutting the lawn.

Petie · 04-30-2012, 08:25 PM

Along with providing her an outlet for her energies, as far as paying you back, no, she can't afford it. Bike riding and roller blading are big ones in this house.

But, something my mother did when I was younger is she assigned price values to chores, and I had to do chores to reach that goal. So if it was $100 of damage, I had to do chores that added to that amount before I could receive anything, like a toy, I wanted.

04-29-2012, 02:07 PM	#1
Charlie U Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Ove Glove, saving hands like a BOSS. Posts: 14,643	Combating destructive "play" In an 11 year old. She took putty or spackel - some sort of wall patch, and smeared it on untreated drywall, a speaker and a chair, ruining those items, the putty knife (which actually wasn't a putty knife, but something of dh's) and the putty. Today she got a hold of WD-40, caulk, and grease. Smeared those items on the swingset. It won't come off. These are expensive items she's ruining, with the exception of the WD-40. I can't realistically ask her to replace the items. I don't think. I told dh that I remember playing with stuff that I wasn't supposed to after I cleaned up about half a can of shaving cream she squeezed all over a towel. (Super easy clean up.) But, I also cleaned up after myself and once was rather enough. Line of sight supervision is exhausting. We went down that road last time. She was only allowed to be in the bathroom or bedroom alone. __________________ "People are going to feel sorry for you. They'll tell you that you can't anticipate the unthinkable. The fact is you can. It's just not all that pleasant." - House But it's hard living life on this memory-go-round. Always up, always down. Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round. All this could be just a dream so it seems I was never much good at goodbye.

04-29-2012, 04:53 PM	#2
Calee Deactivated Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 5,330	Re: Combating destructive "play" Asking for clarification.... Why didn't she clean up the mess? (Specifically the shaving cream that you cleaned up)

04-29-2012, 05:07 PM	#3
swimming with sharks Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 15,480	Re: Combating destructive "play" sounds all sensory....can you up the input and line of sight? __________________ Swimming with Sharks Loving my DH for 19 years 'Pete' 8.5 yo dd 'Dragonfly' 6 yo ds the new kid is 3.5 yo ds always remembering the one I didn't get to hold Mary has been healed by the blood of the lamb

04-29-2012, 05:30 PM	#5
klpmommy Deactivated Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: DFW area Posts: 54,024	Re: Combating destructive "play" it sounds like some sensory play might help her. There is a thread in LE about it. My big kids love sensory play as much as my littles. And I think they need it just as much. Also, P needs heavy exercise on a very regular basis. I make him push the reel mower, do jumping jacks, run laps for time. Playing "escape" with me is another helpful thing b/c he is working against my weight and strength. When he gets that heavy energy out it really seems to help with other areas.

04-29-2012, 07:51 PM	#6
Charlie U Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Ove Glove, saving hands like a BOSS. Posts: 14,643	Re: Combating destructive "play" Well, big muscle movement is hard to get her. We had to withdraw from dance. She went horseback riding on Saturday and she was a completely different child. She was calm, asked to be touched - back rub, shoulder rub, that kind of thing. I need to figure out how to get her more. __________________ "People are going to feel sorry for you. They'll tell you that you can't anticipate the unthinkable. The fact is you can. It's just not all that pleasant." - House But it's hard living life on this memory-go-round. Always up, always down. Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round. All this could be just a dream so it seems I was never much good at goodbye.

04-29-2012, 09:41 PM	#7
Kiara.I Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The Pacific South-West. You know, north of the Pacific North-West Posts: 12,922	Re: Combating destructive "play" Would she do an exercise or dance video, with you or by herself? That would be one way to get some large motor exercise. Or of course there's dance in the living room to music. There are obstacle courses you can build with tables, chairs, furniture, hoops, string laid out on the floor. If you have a tree sending her out to climb it could work. And yes, put her in charge of cutting the lawn. __________________ ENTP fits me to a T, though it took me forever to figure it out! DYT Type 3, Enn. Type 1 (hold that thought...enneagram crisis...might be a 7!) Sparks (9) ; Spitfire (8); Sprite (4.5)

04-30-2012, 08:25 PM	#8
Petie Climbing Rose Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Arizona Posts: 1,289	Re: Combating destructive "play" Along with providing her an outlet for her energies, as far as paying you back, no, she can't afford it. Bike riding and roller blading are big ones in this house. But, something my mother did when I was younger is she assigned price values to chores, and I had to do chores to reach that goal. So if it was $100 of damage, I had to do chores that added to that amount before I could receive anything, like a toy, I wanted. __________________ INTJ Mom of 4 Gav 17 Justin 13 Lala 11 Simon 8

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