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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 01-03-2012, 08:37 PM   #1
marigold
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Default Women Living Well Ministries

Does anyone know about this. I found it today. The Jan. 1 entry is a gentleness challenge and talks about how our yelling affects our kids, it seemed good but I don't want to spend time following something an then have it turn out punitive still. I've limited computer time and I want to make it worth while. Here's a link:
http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/01/introducing-the-gentleness-challenge/
Thanks
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Old 01-03-2012, 08:42 PM   #2
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

I was wondering the same thing.
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Old 01-03-2012, 09:05 PM   #3
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

Well, a quick scan of that website makes me think they are James Dobson followers and very patriarchal. But that's the first time I've seen it.
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Old 01-05-2012, 06:55 PM   #4
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

Quote:
Originally Posted by marigold View Post
Does anyone know about this. I found it today. The Jan. 1 entry is a gentleness challenge and talks about how our yelling affects our kids, it seemed good but I don't want to spend time following something an then have it turn out punitive still. I've limited computer time and I want to make it worth while. Here's a link:
http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/01/introducing-the-gentleness-challenge/
Thanks
I'm familiar with this blog, she is very punitive, and does spank.
(Link broken--hope I did it right!)
http://womenlivingwell DOT org/2010/11/vlog-how-to-give-your-child-effective/

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Old 01-05-2012, 08:58 PM   #5
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

This mom is speaking at the Sally Clarkson conference this year. I have read her blog from time to time over the past year. I want to point out that she is just a person, and the women living well site is just her blog, where she shares what she is currently doing in her home and what is on her heart then. The link in the post above was over a year ago. Think of how much we can change as moms in a year. Think of moms here that started posting a year ago with a 10 month old saying "my 10 month old never obeys me...she is so defiant! I tell her not to climb up the oven door and take her away and she just goes right back to it again! Then, she looks back at me to see if I am watching before she goes and does it again! if I don't punish her, how will she learn? " Oh, yeah, that post was by me on GCM what was actually years ago (three boards ago?) , but seems like yesterday. I hope that no one here would see that post and say "That RLM, she has such a punitive mindset! "

I think that if you want to committ to gentleness and listen to discussion videos on Sally's book, then that sounds great. You should be able to listen and take what you want and leave the rest. I know that Ministry of Motherhood does not have punitive stuff in it.
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Old 01-20-2012, 10:39 AM   #6
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

They are very punitive. I've looked in to them and liked what I saw at first untill I started reading more.
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Old 01-20-2012, 11:52 AM   #7
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

My prayer is that a desire to be a gentler, more patient mother will arise in all mothers everywhere. It is such a worthy goal. I loved what she closed her post with:

Quote:
Touch them gently, use their names gently, use your words gently, slow down and be loving, kind, and gracious.
Those specific things are things our children long for, and things that make our homes better places.
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:04 PM   #8
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

Their gentleness challenge sounds very positive, but I've checked them out several times in the past and there is always a patriarchal and punitive slant to things. My friend who adores them is highly highly punitive; there's no contradiction in her mind because her punitive actions are done out of love and rooted in the Bible, so being gentle is good but doesn't negate expecting immediate obedience and relying heavily on spanking as a tool to gain that obedience.
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:15 PM   #9
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

I understand. I'm just seeing hopeful signs of growth.
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:17 PM   #10
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

Oh, sorry Kathy, I was responding to the OP, not to what you said. I agree with you that it's a very positive and hopeful sign.
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Old 01-20-2012, 04:22 PM   #11
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

I first starting following her blog when she had the "make your home a haven" challenge. I enjoyed that and feel I've gotten some helpful marriage advice but never felt comfortable taking her parenting advice as she seem like she must spank etc. However I wonder if she is starting to make a journey towards gentle parenting. I think it was on the gentle parenting challenge but she talked about if you are having any issues or are angry with something your spouse did make sure you deal with it so you don't take it out on your kids....I realized from that thought that I've been letting issues with my parents go(by not knowing how to deal with them. They we're very punitive and abusive) and i'm prob taking it out on my hubby. I"m a new member here and this is my first post, even though I've been reading for quite awhile. I'm so happy that I've found this site
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Old 01-20-2012, 04:55 PM   #12
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

Very happy to have you here!

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Old 01-23-2012, 12:00 AM   #13
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

I really like the idea of this blog! And I have to agree with previous commenters that maybe she is having a change on mindset? I was very into obedience when my husband and I first got married and almost four years later I am in a totally different spot. I hated the mother I was turning into and my children still disobeyed me. I have learned you get more bees with honey than with vinegar for sure.
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:51 AM   #14
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

Todays post she is talking about Michelle Dugger in her gentleness series. What do you ladies think? I do enjoy watching that show to see how they do it. Myself growing up in a family that people thought was great on the outside or at least people thought my parents we're great "your parents are so nice! what are you talking about" I wonder if they are truly that gentle and easygoing. I hope so! I think I tend to not know who you can trust these days.
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Old 01-23-2012, 11:15 AM   #15
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Default Re: Women Living Well Monistries

She spoke last year at Sally Clarkson's conference also. I read her blog from time to time. She definitely has a WOS perspective, though I wouldn't say she is all out patriarchal. I would also guess that she has slowly moved her parenting in a more gentle direction. She does not appear to be in the "if you aren't spanking you are sinning" camp. (I could be wrong on that, but I've never really looked into it)

The first time I visited her blog was a few years ago through a curriculum blog hop. She posted about the virtual academy her children were enrolled in and oh my. Most of the commenters were so concerned and upset! The horrors! It was slightly comical. She did firmly defend her choice.

I have only read a little bit of the series but I am happy to see it there. It may plant some seeds for some mothers towards GBD and maybe even finding GCM.
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