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Old 11-22-2009, 11:18 AM   #16
celestial princess
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Default Re: The book: Helpful hints for child training

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Originally Posted by PurpleButterfly View Post
Wow, I'm sorry that brought out such big feelings for you, mama. Of course we all have our own opinions, nothing wrong with that.
Thanks, Kym Of course you know I don't hold you responsible
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:19 AM   #17
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Default Re: The book: Helpful hints for child training

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Thanks, Kym Of course you know I don't hold you responsible
Of course not.
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Old 11-24-2009, 05:57 PM   #18
Love_Is_Patient
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Default Re: The book: Helpful hints for child training

It has been recommended, somewhat cautiously (in some cases) several times on the board.

I think there's a lot of good to be gotten from it. Other members have been helped by it (hence the recommendations). I myself (because I tend towards permissiveness) was helped when I read it.

But there's a difference between saying 'I got something good from this book' and 'I'd recommend this book to anyone to read.' If we recommend a book to someone, then we can't control what they get out of it--will they focus on the good parts, or will they get from it that the choice 'close the door or take the whipping' is an acceptable one (actual example)? The chapter on will-training rather than will-breaking starts out well, but ends with this kind of punitive 'choice' (the thread on choices now is very relevant to this). The chapter on training a child for self control is too much, IMO, and he mentions in a couple of places that infants can be trained in where/how they sleep, when they eat, etc.

So the thing is, that it's great if someone reads it and gets the good parts about training a child in faith, the value of sympathy with children (he's talking about what we would call empathy here), coming away with the image of coming alongside the child where he is and pointing the way ahead.

BUT, there's the negative bits and if read and applied in their extremes these could be very destructive. I am pretty sure that both Sally Clarkson (who recommends it in Mission of Motherhood, one reason why it's shown up here) and Gary Ezzo have read and applied *different portions* of this book. That shows the different directions that it could be taken.
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