am I way off on this food issue..

[SweetCaroline]

my dd has suddenly become really picky. ( she'll eat random stuff out of the yard - but doesnt eat sweet potatoes anymore )

well. tonights dinner was oven fried chicken, roasted cauliflower, and roasted sweet potatoes

she apparently - im learning as of tonight- doesnt do sweet potatoes anymore.

last night she didnt do baked beans ...

now..we're a big family. sometimes theres left overs. sometimes theres not
i design my dinners for everybody to have a meat and servings of TWO vegetables. this is how i planned for them to fill up.


i get annoyed that somebody wants to fore go certian dinner items and try to bulk up on the main meat item- such as the chicken tonight. the chicken was obviously more appealing because she could slather it in ketchup.


well. you cant. my dh doesnt want to come home from a long day at work to eat double sweet potatoes and less protein bc one of the kids decides that they dont dig someting that they've **always** eaten.

so..Q.

i told her that she can take both veggies and 3 pieces of chicken.and if she skips one of the side items.there will be no extra chicken.

last night when she skipped the beans- i advised her that she needed to fill up bc there wouldnt be any leftovers. so she asked for more potatoes (ketchup again) and there werent anymore .

is my dinner rule too harsh? i know she eats alot- so i typically give her a piece of wheat bread with butter to help fill her up.

im not trying to be a jerk. and if it was once or twice..or i serve something i KNOW you dont eat..thats different. but this is happening more often. and honestly its from out of nowhere. so its irritating and im having a hard time believing shes not just being contrary - she **has to** have a banana in her cereal if i dont put one in there..and if I DO serve cereal with a banana she throws a massive fit saying she *hates* bananas in her cereal.

gah!!! she's almost 5 btw.

[MarynMunchkins]

Nope The rule here is no seconds until you taste everything else, and if there's only enough of something for one serving, you're out of luck. Budget and family size play into how dinner works here.

[AmyDoll]

Here too and we don't have a "large" family. You must finish your firsts to get seconds. And if there isn't seconds, we might have something else that you can have but it's not even a question if your plate isn't clean.

[AngelaVA]

My 5 YO is being kinda like this too and she eats a ton so it is frustrating. One thing I do is put aside a plate for DH right away so that food is not available at all for them. I dont' think your rule is too harsh, I don't know how it will play out I've not had a lot of luck with this sort of thing with my DD it seems to just make her dig in her heels and refuse to eat the food even more and then make everyone miserable screaming that she's starving the rest of the day.

[bolt.]

I think it's fine to say "only one serving of xyz per person tonight" -- especially with a meat item. However, a child should have options. Do you have some go-to options for children who are hungry enough? Bread is ok, but veggie-for-veggie might be a better trade. Perhaps there are some raw veggies she could swap in? Or fruit?

Also, attitude matters. She isn't in trouble for wanting what she wants, or for choosing not to eat an item she previously ate -- just tell her what her options are for dealing with her preferences.

Oh, and note that both sweet potatoes and most baked-beans recipes are in that family of semi-sweet flavours that babies can love, but its not uncommon for them to grow out if their taste for it... So that might be part of things. If it's the case, you can probably expect her to be "off" things like brown sugar sausages and sweetened meat dishes (sweet and sour, honey BBQ, etc).

[amydawn]

I don't have any advice to offer, but I'll be watching this thread. I'm having similar food issues with my 4 year old.

Will she eat sweet potatoes with a little cinnamon on them?

If not, I really have to agree with Bolt on this one. DS has some massive food issues, both with sensitivities to certain foods, but also gag reflex texture issues. I have learned it takes a little flexibility, so that DS's nutritional needs are being met, without him growing up to have hang-ups about eating. IMHO, eating is one of those things you want to choose your battles on - it's really easy to foster a very negative reaction to eating if meal time is fraught with tension.

I make a protein and two sides most meals, typically. Spaghetti gets salad and garlic bread. Baked chicken usually gets mashed potatoes and some other veggie like steamed carrots or green beans. DS loves, loves the proteins and carbs, but veggies are hit or miss. And some weeks he likes potatoes, others he hates them. Some weeks he likes green beans. Other weeks he will gag on them. I try not to stress andwill let his feelings guide his eating. I figure if he's having a night of being off potatoes that it means, perhaps, his body doesn't want any more starch that day.

Now, DS hates baked potatoes and one night a week we do loaded baked potatoes. It's our meat-free night. Since that's the one meal my son despises above all others, I don't mind making him a separate dinner that suits his tastes. Usually he likes a veggie burger or soup that night, and I'm okay with that. But that is the only night I will do that for him, as we are budget conscious. The rule other nights is he has to eat three bites of one of the veggie sides and most of his protein. I make sure I have lots of healthy, light things on-hand that he can eat about an hour after dinner as a snack if he doesn't want to finish his dinner. Things like yogurt, fruit, and tuna fish.

Another thing that has helped is I let him help plan the menu. That way he is involved in the process and empowered. He gets so proud and excited when everyone compliments a certain meal and he beams and says, "this meal was my idea".

[Aerynne]

I think you should leave sweet potatoes randomly in the yard if she eats random things in the yard.

Otherwise, no, I think your rule is fine. I never make my kids eat anything, and they always have the option of a plain piece of bread if they don't like what is served. They're supposed to ask me about it nicely, though- if they complain "this dinner is disgusting!", no bread. Limiting people to a reasonable serving of any food you serve is just fine.

[ViolaMum]

I think your rule is reasonable. We have similar rules.

My almost 7 YO will often ask for seconds of something and not eat it. I often have to insist that she finish what she's got before helping herself to more. She's always been a kids who likes to see a lot on her plate before she'll even start to eat. Sometimes I say no to seconds, or there are no seconds/thirds/whatever and she gets upset. Often when I offer her something else, she'll turn it down and not eat anything because she wasn't really hungry, she just wanted more of that food, or liked the looks of it (or something?!).

I agree with not offering seconds under various circumstances. My son knows the rule is everyone gets a chance to get their first helping before he may have seconds. The other is he cannot ask for seconds if he doesn't eat all of the firsts. Granted, I won't turn down his request for seconds on veggies if he has left a tiny bite of chicken on his plate, but usually I make sure everyone gets their first helping before doling out extra food.