Bill Gothard

[jenny_islander]

Originally Posted by ncsweetpea

Gothard's teaching also left me to believe that the abusive male authority in my life was okay--part of God's plan for me. After all, I believed I was under his "umbrella" of protection and that this was part of what I was meant to experience in life as a child. To all who have been hurt and broken by his heretical teachings...

meant to experience

meant to experience

MEANT TO EXPERIENCE

WHERE IS AN EXPLODING HEAD SMILEY WHEN I NEED ONE?

Back when I was in a group for adult survivors of child s----- abuse, we audited a lot of different things. One was a video from this sweetly smiling doe-eyed blonde lady whose name escaped me who explained that "we pull in the experiences that we need in order to grow." That is, we, as unborn children, decide to be born as children of-- Or we decide to somehow act in a way that causes adults to-- That is, adults who do evil to children need not be called out for their sins because, you know, it was supposed to happen.

I dismissed it as the usual antifreeze-disguised-as-sugar New Age poisonous nonsense, and this person is teaching it as Gospel?

[UltraMother]

My mom and I attended his seminars in the late 80s, both basic and advanced, about 4-5 times. It was one way I could really get her approval, since his teachings really appealed to her personality. We weren't die-hard or anything, but some of the teachings did stick with me.
I first learned about homebirth there, and went on to have 4 successful ones. I followed his ideas on circumcision and abstinence, which I am still unsure about. I really believed in his quiverfull stuff, and it broke my heart when dh decided to have a vas 5 years ago.
Some of his ideas I only believed as a teen, like his umbrella of authority and total submission. It never even occurred to me to question what he was teaching (after all, it was Biblical, right?) until someone I greatly admired went on a mini-rant about the parental submission teaching (everyone remember the story about the guy who wanted to go to Bible school against the wishes of his non-Christian dad?), saying that that totally went against what Jesus Himself taught.
Like most Christian teachers, he does have some good ideas in with the bad. But a very bad dynamic runs thru everything, and I can't endorse him at all. He also falls into the common trap of "I can back my ideas up from Scripture, therefore they MUST be what God wants for everyone".

to all here who have been hurt by his teachings. My damage has been fairly minimal, but I still kick myself a lot about it. There are some good blogs out there from recovering ATI people that might help the healing process.

I too attended the Basic Seminar about 20 years ago. Here are the reasons I loved it so much (at the time):

1. I was a new Christian, trying to navigate my new life, without any close, credible role models
2. It gave me rules. I liked rules. No, I LOVED rules. (do this, this and this, and you will be "spiritual")
3. I remember Gothard being a fairly good speaker/salesman
4.. My flesh loves legalism (but I think you got that with reason #2)

Because we have always attended conservative, fundamental churches, I personally know several ATI families. Early on in our marriage I was always so uncomfortable around them, because they always looked like they had it so together. It is interesting and sad now that some of these families' children have grown. I see 2 diametrically opposed outcomes:

1. Children who have completely rejected Jesus Christ because of their parent's misrepresentation of Him
2. Children who are cookie cutters of their parents, separating (isolating) from our culture in order to preserve and protect their practices (i.e. courtship, harsh discipline, certain dress standards)

This is hard stuff. We lost a lot of "friends" when we started having children, because we didn't follow Gothard's (or Pearl's or whosever) discipline model I was handed all the books given the party line, and told by well meaning women that they would "pray for my husband". I still have an old friend whom I love dearly who insists that my 8yo's now very sweet disposition is God's reward for my obedience to my husband. (My husband has always been Grace Based - but leans way towards permissiveness)..

But you know, there but FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, go I - because when I start walking after the flesh, my thought life is plagued with punitive, tow-the-line-type, less-than-kind-and-gentle practices I'd like to unleash on the sometimes-less-than-perfect people I live with. I pray for my sisters in the Lord who are suffering heartache regarding their their children because they were brilliantly deceived into believing that the outward appearance of their parenting was more important thand their relationship - and now they have neither.
.
Whew. Off to kiss on my kids.

[Beth1231]

When I asked my parents how they got entrenched in that legalistic mess, they told me it was "spiritual pride." And they both liked the idea that they were better than other "wordly" Christians. I guess it's a good feeling to be in a club where other people feel the same that you do. I'm so glad they were only involved with Gothard for a handful of years. That was enough, definitely.

Some of his lure is based on a basic, human emotion. The desire to be respected and important.

I definitely remember being told "you have no rights" and getting that annoying umbrella analogy. Bleah.