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#1 |
Rose Garden
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Location: South Carolina
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Today is the last day of 8th grade. I had told dd she couldn't have social media until high school. Well, she does have TicToc(Musically), that does count.
I hate Snapchat. She doesn't really want FB, seems like the teens don't like FB as much. Anything new with Instagram I should know? We've talked about not friending/PMing people she doesn't know IRL.
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ![]() Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 19 dd1 16 dd2 13.5 ds2 8 |
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#2 |
Moderator in Celebrations, Cloth Diapering & EC, Empty Arms, Prayer & Praise, and Swap n' Shop
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Yea, teens don't do fb. It's an old peeps thing.
![]() My older teens (now 16 and 18) have instagram. I also started an account when they opened theirs so that I could become more familiar with the app and also follow them. It's diferent than facebook in the fact that people don't necessarily have to use their real names. so when you look at her friends list you will likely have to ask her who the people are. Also almost every teen creates a "regular account" and a spam account. Many teens have multiple accounts. they'll tend to post their safe stuff on the regular account and have spam accounts for multiple other reasons. Sometimes it's benign and just fun. My dd and her cousin have a spam account together that they just post silly pictures for example. sometimes kids will use that spam account to post more racy things on those. You can also get more ads and see things that you didn't necessarily follow than you do on facebook. Insta does seem to be one of the main ways teens communicate. That and snapchat which I totally agree with your discomfort with snapchat at her age. I'd say this is a good first step. Make sure you have her password and she knows that you can login to monitor should you need to. make sure your boundaries for her in its use are clear.
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wife to my beloved and best friend ![]() mom to 4 great kids: ds(19)
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#3 |
Rose Trellis
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Location: S. CA
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We let our girls have Instagram accounts, but they don't have the app on their phones. They have to borrow our phones to check Instagram. We wanted to be able to monitor the amount of time they spend on it because it's so addictive. I really hate how social media affects teens (I should actually say how it affects people, because isn't that so true??) so wanted to limit it's influence. Personally, I think it was one of the best parenting decisions I've made.
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LAURIE (ISFJ) Married to my most favorite person (25 years) Mama to my precious: DD1 (21) DD2 (18) DS (15) |
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#4 |
Rose Garden
![]() Don't mind my faces. They usually don't mean anything.
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,644
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https://www.connectsafely. org/instagram/ has a really thorough guide to Instagram. CommonSense Media has a good guide too.
Do you have Instagram? My thoughts, in case you haven’t thought of these but maybe you have ![]() 1) Be aware that kids, even really good kids, have fake accounts. They let their parents and teachers follow their “Rinsta,” or “Real Instagram,” accounts. Then they also have “Finsta,” or “Fake instagrams.” That’s where only their best friends follow them and they can be themselves and talk trash and post nasty things. Mostly girls have Finstas. 2) Warn her not to follow hashtags. 3) Don’t let her turn on location sharing. 4) Be aware that, like Snapchat, Instagram has disappearing messages 5) Be aware that someone doesn’t have to follow her in order to send her a direct message (DM). 6) Be aware that there are channels on IGTV that she can view whether she follows the person who makes the channel or not... 7) Make it so people can’t reshare her posts or tag her in photos and videos That’s all I can think of right now. Instagram can be great for connecting. It can also be a place of bullying, drama, and awful behavior that go unchecked because it happens via DM or finstas ![]() Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Christine WAHM as writer/editor; part-time high school teacher; wife to pharmacist DH since 7.31.2010 ![]() Lila in heaven, 8/2015 ![]() DD1 "KO" born 8/2017 ![]() DD2 GIRL born 1/2020 ![]() Last edited by Virginia; 06-06-2019 at 10:51 AM. |
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#5 | |
Rose Garden
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Location: South Carolina
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Good to know about hashtags. I did already tell her I want the location tracker off.
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ![]() Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 19 dd1 16 dd2 13.5 ds2 8 |
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#6 | |
Rose Garden
![]() Don't mind my faces. They usually don't mean anything.
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,644
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I wonder if it might be helpful for you to create an Instagram account so you can follow her and so you understand better how it works ![]() Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Christine WAHM as writer/editor; part-time high school teacher; wife to pharmacist DH since 7.31.2010 ![]() Lila in heaven, 8/2015 ![]() DD1 "KO" born 8/2017 ![]() DD2 GIRL born 1/2020 ![]() |
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#7 |
Rose Garden
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Augusta, GA
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I would create an account so you can see how it works. I didn't look at the connect safely link so this might've been covered, but occasionally you'll get a DM or a follow from a camgirl type of account. They comment on public posts all the time too. Their stuff isn't gonna show up in your feed but it's a reminder not to follow hashtags like Virginia said, and not to wander too much. It's easily filtered out, better than Twitter, so it's more of a nuisance than anything, but they're also easy to find.
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Mary K
wife to Daniel for 13 years mom to 10 year old the Girl and 9 year old the Boy and 5 year old Tiny Almost always posting from my phone. |
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#8 |
Administrator
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Join Date: Apr 2005
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Do get your own account.
![]() Let her know from the start that you’ll have her password and that you might log in to her account and read dms from time to time. Like others have said, it can be a fun way to connect with people, but there are dangers and friends can be mean. I rarely check on my dd, but my friend has her own account and her dd’s open on her phone and reads everything every day. Determine how you want to handle it when you set it up. It’s very hard to get more control but easy to loosen it up as she proves herself trustworthy. Also think about time limits since it can really suck you in. Talk about not comparing yourself to the perfect little snaps people show, and be prepared to deal with sadness over seeing pics of friends doing things without her, that kind of thing. It will be good to walk through the world of social media with her.
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Kelly Wife to my sweetheart for 26 years ![]() Grateful mom to 2 young men, ages 23 & 21 and one dancing girl, age 16 When I joined GCM they were 8,6, and 1. ![]() Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 |
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#9 |
Rose Garden
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I don’t think I saw this mentioned—- There is a “best friends” option or some sort of inner circle option where you can share more intimate stuff w people labeled closest confidants.
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Jodi JESUS FOLLOWER |
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#10 |
Moderator in Celebrations, Cloth Diapering & EC, Empty Arms, Prayer & Praise, and Swap n' Shop
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i don't have a smart phone either. I put instagram on my tablet. definitely definitely get it if you're going to allow her to. And I agree that it's a fun way to interact with your kids. My teens send me messages and cute memes.
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wife to my beloved and best friend ![]() mom to 4 great kids: ds(19)
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#11 |
Administrator
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, sing to the Lord a new song!
Join Date: Apr 2005
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My dd was just telling me that if you get a dm (direct message) from a stranger, you can (should) "decline" without even opening.
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Kelly Wife to my sweetheart for 26 years ![]() Grateful mom to 2 young men, ages 23 & 21 and one dancing girl, age 16 When I joined GCM they were 8,6, and 1. ![]() Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 |
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#12 | |
Rose Garden
![]() Don't mind my faces. They usually don't mean anything.
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,644
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You can. It shows up as a message request, iirc. But I think you still see the content of the message or at least part of it...? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Christine WAHM as writer/editor; part-time high school teacher; wife to pharmacist DH since 7.31.2010 ![]() Lila in heaven, 8/2015 ![]() DD1 "KO" born 8/2017 ![]() DD2 GIRL born 1/2020 ![]() |
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#13 |
Rose Garden
![]() The many faces of Monkey
Join Date: Oct 2010
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I quite enjoy Instagram. I don't have a teen yet, but my youngest SIL uses it a TON. I think 99% of her friend contact is through Instagram.
![]() It has the same risks as any social media, really. Anyone can message an account (I mostly get people trying to sell me crap). You can choose between private and public. Private requires you to approve followers for them to view anything but your profile picture. Public profiles can have inappropriate content, but if you stick with people/organizations that you know, it's usually pretty safe. I don't typically encounter anything bad because I just have my feed of people I actually know and a few companies and don't stray into trending or hashtags.
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The proud Mama of a Monkey
who aspires to be a vet when he grows up and to Baby Girl (nickname coming...) born 8/2019. Most definitely INFJ Be my friend?! ![]() (Just let me know you're a GCM ![]() |
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#14 | |
Rose Garden
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ![]() Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 19 dd1 16 dd2 13.5 ds2 8 |
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#15 |
Rose Garden
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I let my daughter have Instagram in 9th grade because my adult friend said this would be her way to communicate and share pictures with her theater friends. And that's true.
However, I do hate how much time she spends on it, and I REALLY hate the part where she sees her friends doing things without her. That has caused so much sadness to her to the point that I absolutely hate IG!!! I told her she has to back way off of it during the summer. I told her she could have 10 minutes a day to check/send messages. But, that's also extremely difficult because she then can't be as social, which is a struggle for her. (She has some social anxiety.) It's just so super frustrating!!!! I would love to just delete the whole thing, but she's right when she tells me that is her main communication with her friends. That's where the teens are, and she can't really find them on FB. She doesn't have a lot of phone numbers for texting because IG is easier!
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Married to DH for 28 years! Mama to very sweet DD1 "Kitten" 5/03 and our very sweet DD2 "Monkey" 1/08 crunchy, homeschooling, and focused on healing with diet, homeopathy, and QRI cold laser reflex integration |
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