I felt judged by a baby wearer today.

JJsMom · 04-30-2012, 09:33 PM

This is probably my own insecurities but I was walking downtown today with my 3 mo (not in a sling) and there was a younger woman with her baby in a sling. She didn't make eye contact and said something to the guy with her like "he's so comfy". I wanted to turn around and say "my baby won't go in a sling!". She won't. I have tried 6 different slings and she fusses as soon as I put her in.

I think I judged before. Again she might not have been but I felt sad.

Waterlogged · 04-30-2012, 09:59 PM

awww....

that stinks.

and she probably was judging you, in order to rationalize and justify her own choices, to build herself up. why do we do that to each other??????

blondie · 04-30-2012, 10:06 PM

I've gotten dirty looks from mamas carrying car seats when I'm wearing my baby. I think it goes both ways, and it's just what moms tend to do, whether they mean to or not.

I sometimes avoid eye contact with a mom carrying a car seat when I'm wearing my baby so that I don't get that judged feeling.

MaryPoppinsIAin't · 05-09-2012, 04:33 PM

Heh... I'm just the opposite. I catch someone giving me stink-eye, or pointedly Not. Looking., I will stare right back until they get the hint. Most folks know it's rude to stare, and they're embarrassed to be caught, so they scurry off.

thrillofhope · 05-09-2012, 04:46 PM

I've felt that way. I know it's usually my problem and not theirs, but I still feel it.

I just can't babywear. Period. I do things like bash my kids heads into door frames when I try.

Even on GCM sometimes I feel bad, because that's sort of the go-to answer when you aren't getting anything done. I don't get as much done, but my carried babies are well attached and happy.

mwwr · 05-09-2012, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thrillofhope

I don't get as much done, but my carried babies are well attached and happy.

You have done what works for your baby. You've done well.

HomeWithMyBabies · 05-09-2012, 05:17 PM

I've said that myself a million times for as many reasons, none of which include judging other moms. It could have been me you passed, just blissfully enjoying my baby without giving much notice to anyone else.

I'm sorry your baby isn't comfortable.

cheri · 05-09-2012, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomeWithMyBabies

I've said that myself a million times for as many reasons, none of which include judging other moms. It could have been me you passed, just blissfully enjoying my baby without giving much notice to anyone else.

I'm sorry your baby isn't comfortable.

Yes, this. TBH, I don't think it sounds like she was judging you. I think that it sounds like you are assuming that she was judging you, just based on the fact that she didn't make eye contact and that she said "he's so comfy" That's quite an assumption.

It sounds like your own insecurities coming out.

I don't think it sounds like the other woman did anything wrong.

JenniferJuniper · 05-13-2012, 12:45 PM

I just sometimes get jealous when I see those moms who so easily sling their babies around.
I keep trying, and I'm hoping with my new sling I'll be able to carry Pip around more - but I do understand that judgemental feeling for sure.

Peace,
-Jenny

ValiantJoy07 · 05-13-2012, 01:03 PM

dd3 doesn't like to be worn either. It feels so weird after 2 babies who often needed to be worn to fall asleep.

Stiina · 05-13-2012, 02:14 PM

That stinks. Thanks for posting.

I hope I haven't made anyone feel like that....

I usually try to put on a nice smile and an understanding look...hopefully it doesn't come across as judgemental

charla · 05-13-2012, 02:49 PM

Feeling judged doesn't feel good.

My dd couldn't stand the sling either much to my dismay.

04-30-2012, 09:33 PM	#1
JJsMom Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 6,695	I felt judged by a baby wearer today. This is probably my own insecurities but I was walking downtown today with my 3 mo (not in a sling) and there was a younger woman with her baby in a sling. She didn't make eye contact and said something to the guy with her like "he's so comfy". I wanted to turn around and say "my baby won't go in a sling!". She won't. I have tried 6 different slings and she fusses as soon as I put her in. I think I judged before. Again she might not have been but I felt sad. __________________ Krissy Married to my loving husband for 14 years I have 4 kids. Gave birth to my J-bird 10 yrs ago (ds) Homebirthed my LuLu 7 yrs ago (dd) Homebirthed my Punkin' seed (and Great Grandma's namesake) 4 years ago. (dd) And had our newest arrival, JellyBean 2 years ago. (dd) I still miss my Great Grandma every single day. I'm not ready to take her picture out of my avi. She feels closer this way.

04-30-2012, 09:59 PM	#2
Waterlogged Rose Garden grace is for mamas too Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 20,033	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. awww.... that stinks. and she probably was judging you, in order to rationalize and justify her own choices, to build herself up. why do we do that to each other?????? __________________ mama to K almost 8 and "Little Fluff" B age 3

04-30-2012, 10:06 PM	#3
blondie Rose Garden A little bit crunchy, a little bit rock n' roll! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 10,298	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. I've gotten dirty looks from mamas carrying car seats when I'm wearing my baby. I think it goes both ways, and it's just what moms tend to do, whether they mean to or not. I sometimes avoid eye contact with a mom carrying a car seat when I'm wearing my baby so that I don't get that judged feeling. __________________ homeschooling mama to four dear ones Lilla Rose Stylist

05-09-2012, 04:33 PM	#4
MaryPoppinsIAin't Rose Bouquet Join Date: May 2012 Location: Chicago, IL (suburbs) Posts: 625	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. Heh... I'm just the opposite. I catch someone giving me stink-eye, or pointedly Not. Looking., I will stare right back until they get the hint. Most folks know it's rude to stare, and they're embarrassed to be caught, so they scurry off. __________________ Three babes under 6, and most of what I know about kids comes from books and babysitting. So if I say something painfully naive, feel free to smile and shake your head as you laugh quietly to yourself. ISFP. I-84, S-60, F-51, P-53 Laura John, 2006 JJ - , '11 Ana - , '14 Geordi - , '17

05-09-2012, 04:46 PM	#5
thrillofhope Deactivated Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,615	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. I've felt that way. I know it's usually my problem and not theirs, but I still feel it. I just can't babywear. Period. I do things like bash my kids heads into door frames when I try. Even on GCM sometimes I feel bad, because that's sort of the go-to answer when you aren't getting anything done. I don't get as much done, but my carried babies are well attached and happy.

05-09-2012, 05:17 PM	#7
HomeWithMyBabies Rose Garden Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 24,062	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. I've said that myself a million times for as many reasons, none of which include judging other moms. It could have been me you passed, just blissfully enjoying my baby without giving much notice to anyone else. I'm sorry your baby isn't comfortable. __________________ Mom of 3

05-13-2012, 12:45 PM	#9
JenniferJuniper Rose Bouquet With Lilacs In Her Hair Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Canada Posts: 749	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. I just sometimes get jealous when I see those moms who so easily sling their babies around. I keep trying, and I'm hoping with my new sling I'll be able to carry Pip around more - but I do understand that judgemental feeling for sure. Peace, -Jenny __________________ Eco-friendly, baby-wearing, yoga-doing, trail-running, line-drying, one-car owning, extended breast-feeding, cloth-diapering, small-town hippie, and ESFJ

05-13-2012, 01:03 PM	#10
ValiantJoy07 Rose Garden "Take Joy Home, And make a place in thy great heart for her...Joy is the grace we say to God." ~Jean Ingelow~ Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Forest Posts: 16,337	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. dd3 doesn't like to be worn either. It feels so weird after 2 babies who often needed to be worn to fall asleep. __________________ Hannah Joy Intuitive People Loving Introvert Married since '05 to Ryan software and web applications developer. Homeschooling Mama to my 5 Joys... dd1 RJ (12/07), dd2 AJ (08/09), dd3 PJ (01/12), ds1 Ziggy (09/15), ds2 Sunny (05/18) Enjoying a Healing Diet to manage SPD and other health challenges. Sorry for the typos and sloppy grammar I don't have a good excuse anymore.

05-13-2012, 02:14 PM	#11
Stiina Rose Garden Not Sharing Exuberantly Anymore Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 9,507	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. That stinks. Thanks for posting. I hope I haven't made anyone feel like that.... I usually try to put on a nice smile and an understanding look...hopefully it doesn't come across as judgemental

05-13-2012, 02:49 PM	#12
charla Administrator Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 16,670	Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today. Feeling judged doesn't feel good. My dd couldn't stand the sling either much to my dismay. __________________ CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David www.dancingforeternity.org www.irresistiblehope.org Save Save Save Save Save

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