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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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02-23-2010, 05:42 PM | #76 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 1,249
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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Megan - eNFp Advocate
Homemaking freelance writer & author passionate about gentle mothering, natural living, social justice and great coffee. Married to my college sweetheart and the SortaCrunchy mama to my big girls (8 and 5) and brand new (2/7/13) twin boys. Co-author of Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year |
02-23-2010, 05:56 PM | #77 |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,863
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
They teach to marry in the Church, but not in the State and never separate or remarry. I'm not at all sure if they teach to divorce (in the eyes of the state) if one is already married by the state, but if they do, they must stay married in the Church.
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
02-23-2010, 05:59 PM | #78 |
Rose Garden
The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unpunctual alien attack!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,895
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
I see. Thanks.
Do they teach that men should beat their wives into submission?
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Sarah - INFJ - DYT 4/2 Soapmaker. Sourdough baker. Seed sower. Duck grower. Hungarian speaker. Torah seeker. Keep within me / a stillness / deeper and sweeter / than a forest's / in mid of winter. ~Hebridean Altars |
02-23-2010, 06:18 PM | #79 |
Rose Bush
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: the last frontier
Posts: 384
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
They don't tell husbands to beat their wives but, CTBHHM (the book mentioned earlier) basically says that if you were a good enough wife, your husband wouldn't be beating you (in a read between the lines way). And that leaving an abusive husband isn't always the right answer. I think she gives an example of a wife praying that she would be saved from her husband and "God killed him". And that you can manipulate your husband to get your way with your "sweetness".
Debi does say that threesomes and other dirty things in marriage is sinful and never to consent to that. But that whenever your husband wants sex- you give it to him no matter what.
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Beth Mama to Faith born May 2009 and Titus born Dec 2011 |
02-23-2010, 06:30 PM | #80 | |
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"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,863
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
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02-23-2010, 09:06 PM | #81 | |
Deactivated
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Second star to the right, straight on til morning.
Posts: 6,571
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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The attachment practices coupled with the punitive measures of the Pearls fosters an unhealthy attachment where pain, lack of any individuality and complete submission are the only acceptable means by which to keep the relationship. Their children, no doubt, would be ostracized, disowned and cast out of the family if they were to develop a theology or parenting practice that deviates from that of their parents. Not to even mention the fact that even their salvation would be questioned. I'm beginning to think of it as Stockholm Syndrome. Their book on marriage is equally as toxic as their parenting books. I could tell you all kinds of sickening examples she gives in the book and all of her warped theology but it could take forever. The book is that bad. Nevermind her insulting, disrespectful attitude towards her readers and her complete lack of gentleness, love or grace. I could say a lot about that book. It's GARBAGE. |
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The Following User Says Thank You to NewLeaf For This Useful Post: | hopeforchange (02-24-2010) |
02-23-2010, 09:29 PM | #82 |
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Yep. I'm a 3.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 19,140
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
Go to http://mommypress.com/rebecca/today-...or-himself.htm and look at my latest post detailing in his own words what is ok. As long as the wife's bruises don't last over 2 hours she can't tell the pastor much less the cops.
Last edited by Wonder Woman; 02-24-2010 at 06:27 AM. |
The Following User Says Thank You to Wonder Woman For This Useful Post: | rosesnsnails (02-28-2010) |
02-23-2010, 09:54 PM | #83 | |
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Second star to the right, straight on til morning.
Posts: 6,571
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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The Following User Says Thank You to NewLeaf For This Useful Post: | Can Dance (02-28-2010) |
02-23-2010, 11:27 PM | #84 |
Rose Trellis
Just me :o)
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Phoenix, AZ. Quite possibly the hottest place in the universe, beside the sun of-course..
Posts: 1,895
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
subbing...good stuff here. Thanks!
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~~Tori~~ Wife to my dreamy hunka man. 16yrs!!!!, Momma to my 15yr old athlete Momma to my 10yr old little snuggle bug Momma to my 4 year old little thinker!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ doesn't mean I don't get angry. I just try my best to treat my boys the way I would like to be treated, with love and respect.
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02-24-2010, 02:10 AM | #85 | ||
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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I thought I had a strong stomach until I encountered this. Just the way that she writes is so crude that it made me feel physically ill, & I gave it up. Quote:
Seriously. If they can make a point by saying one thing, fine; if the opposite, they say that. Somebody on another forum asked me recently what church they belong to, & I said that I honestly think that they have made up their own religion. |
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02-24-2010, 03:02 AM | #86 | ||
Owner/Founder of GCM
Administrator Run with endurance the race that is set before you. . . Heb. 12:1
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 30,571
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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eta: I've come to think that he talks using his own language, that sometimes he has such different meanings for words than people would normally mean that it can really be confusing. ---------- Post added at 02:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:52 AM ---------- Quote:
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~ Jeri Vegan mom to my vegan kiddos DD1 (24), DS1 (21), DD2 (18), and DS2 (15) And wife to my gentle DH for 26 years and counting Instagram: gentleveganrunner gentlechristianmothers Last edited by flowermama; 02-24-2010 at 02:57 AM. |
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02-24-2010, 04:52 AM | #87 | |
Deactivated
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 11,787
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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02-24-2010, 06:22 AM | #88 |
Deactivated
Yep. I'm a 3.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 19,140
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
That's from an article titled "Abusive Husbands" written by Debi Pearl in 1999. The portion quoted on my site (http://mommypress.com/rebecca/today-...or-himself.htm, for when that's no longer the latest post) is the footnote Mr. Pearl wrote. I quoted it verbatim. Let his own words condemn him
(btw, one minor swear word used in a quasi-Biblical sense in my commentary, just an FYI ) |
02-24-2010, 06:45 AM | #89 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 11,787
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
thanks
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02-24-2010, 07:02 AM | #90 | |
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I knew u were trouble when u walked in . . . Tribble, Tribble, Tribble
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Downriver Detroit
Posts: 7,201
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
Spunky Homeschool does an awesome job dissecting the CTBHHM book in 3 parts. She is a very conservative Christian, I would say even leans toward WOS while still maintaining a healthy relationship in her own marriage. She starts out her posts by saying she likes the heartstring-tying aspect of his parenting teachings, but doesn't go on to discuss parenting there. I don't know what her bottom line is on spanking. But she gets to the crux of the problems with CTBHHM, which is that it sets up the husband to be God in the marriage. He gets to worship God, she gets to worship him. And then she shows even more wild stuff Debbi says about the WIFE's responsibility in sanctifying her husband!
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Last edited by jewelmcjem; 02-24-2010 at 07:05 AM. |
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