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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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05-26-2011, 05:34 AM | #31 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 12,314
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Re: Do u own The New Strong Willed Childor Dare to Discipline and want to do me a fav
Yeah, I got it. I should update the OP.
I forgot about that shoulder pinching advice.
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My kiddos 26, 23, 19, 15, 12, 8, 2, <1 |
05-26-2011, 05:44 AM | #32 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: SW Virginia
Posts: 1,173
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
My parents were Dobson fans. Got the mag and everything. I used to support spanking, but that was long before I had kids. I've never read anything by Dobson, and I'm thankful for that. But the excerpts you all are mentioning are awful. I just can't believe so many read this and don't see a problem with it. I would have been among them at one point in time.
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05-26-2011, 05:47 AM | #33 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,272
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
I thought Dobson was great too... before actually having kids. Between GCM and another message board, I've changed my mind. I actually wrote on my app for here that I wasn't sure about the spanking thing, but that I was open to reading more about alternatives. Well, I'm sure now- sure about NOT spanking!!
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05-26-2011, 07:31 AM | #34 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,542
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
I grew up in a church family and with extended family that held Dobson in high esteem. I thought he was great without actually knowing what he taught. When I finally sat down to read his books, I had a huge moment realizing that the people I knew growing up that held to his authoritarian, adversarial views were people that I instinctively avoided, thoroughly disliked, or just outright hated.
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Darcy married to my Photographic Genius (1/00) Mom to: Prima, Secunda, Tertia, and Quarta Youth and Beauty are fleeting, but the ability to bake a great chocolate cake lasts forever! |
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06-01-2011, 11:04 AM | #35 |
Rose Garden
a little Attachment Parenting will fix that
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,981
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
oh gross. he whipped his dog with a belt? hmm. very revealing.
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Gently mothering 5 babes one day at a time, only by the help of my Lord - ages 11,6,5, 4, & 2 Nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation.ISFP |
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06-01-2011, 11:30 AM | #36 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,764
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
I hope Siggie peed in his cereal every morning the rest of the little doggie's life.
Wow. I knew the guy was rotten to children, but animals too... he really does have some serious issues. No wonder he describes all his pets the way he does, they live with a madman who likes to bully things smaller than he is. Oh no wait. I want Siggie to come back as a Mastiff or a pitt or something. Take a belt to THAT, coward.
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06-03-2011, 08:51 AM | #37 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,362
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Re: Do u own The New Strong Willed Childor Dare to Discipline and want to do me a fav
Quote:
1. The dog did not become "boss of the house" while Dobson was away. The dog accepted Mrs. Dobson as his leader and master. Note that the dog hid behind her. The dog's behavior toward Dobson is the behavior of a dog who is challenged by another dog for his position. The dog thought of himself and Dobson as subordinate to the real leader of the pack--the person who actually ran the place instead of barking incomprehensible orders (see below) and charging around with a belt. Also note that dogs who keep fighting back against a dominance display either recognize that the other dog is full of hot air, or else they think the other dog means to kill them and therefore they must fight for their lives. But Dobson sees all interactions as either reinforcements of his power, or attempts to challenge his power--even when the other party is frightened of him. This is one of the main objections many of us have to child training. 2. So the dog didn't learn tricks for a long time because of his "anarchistic nature?" Somehow I think this has more to do with Dobson's unexamined inability to train a dog. Based on the above anecdote about the belt, I suspect that he followed the typical mindset of child training methods: if at first you don't succeed, don't reconsider your methods, just do it more and harder. And we have this story to explain further how well Dobson understands the "nature" of others: 3. How was the dog supposed to understand the word "attack" out of the blue? Dobson doesn't mention training this twelve-pound, short-legged animal as an attack dog. I repeat, this was a twelve-pound animal who had not received any training in attacking strangers that Dobson mentions. He was confronted with a big stranger rummaging around in the dark, the Belt Man was doing his angry gibberish thing, and he was supposed to charge into combat why, exactly? Ascribing to the subjects of training capabilities they simply don't have is a third hallmark of child training. Understanding ages and stages is commonly dismissed as "science" or "psychology" when it is simply common sense backed up by observation. Dobson cites his treatment of this poor dog as evidence that he understands the role of authority in daily life. Dobson also mentions that his cats at the time were neurotic.
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Wife to John, December 18, 1999 ~ Mother to Sophia, March 13, 2004 ~ Mother to Eva, June 10, 2006 ~ Mother to Matthew, December 21, 2009 ~ Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will lift me up. |
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06-03-2011, 09:09 AM | #40 |
Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 16,658
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
Can anyone tell me why he includes the phrase that he was embarrassed about what happened with the dog? It seemed pretty off kilter comment with the authoritarian voice he wants to present, almost an admission of a crack in his armor...unless I'm reading it wrongly.
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CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David Save Save Save Save Save
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06-03-2011, 09:31 AM | #41 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,764
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
Charla, I imagine he was embarrassed that his Manly Manhood was challenged by something so small and insignificant in the first place. He should have made sure to always rule the tiny doxie with an iron fist from the beginning, you know. As the Man of the House and all.
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He is seven and she is days from turning two. I'm not sure how this happened. |
06-03-2011, 09:46 AM | #42 | |
Deactivated
Formerly Jadeswan ;)
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 5,510
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
Quote:
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06-03-2011, 09:50 AM | #43 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,362
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
Quote:
1. Provide food, shelter, and water, consistently. The leader cares for his subordinates' physical needs. Dog leadership grows out of dog parenting; the puppy has to show proper manners, but he can count on being looked after. To a dog, this is unconditional love. 2. Be a confident leader. Never behave as though you are worried about your authority being overthrown. The boss dog is calm, authoritative, and assured and he doesn't need to go around inventing reasons to demand submissive displays from other dogs. If he starts trying to put other dogs down, he's slipping. 3. Don't confuse and frighten your subordinates. Keep your requests simple and your expectations achievable. The frustrated, angry boss dog is perceived as lacking authority and this means that one of the other dogs has to step up and fill the role, because there has to be a boss for everyone to feel secure. 4. Discipline immediately, briefly, and only as much as needed to get your point across. Throwing other dogs on their backs is something boss dogs do when the pack structure is threatening to come apart, generally because the leader already messed up. Most of the time, boss dogs discipline like mom dogs. Mom dog's basic tool is a stern body posture and a woof. Physically stopping misbehavior is another tool in the mom dog's toolchest. If Dobson had really been Siggie's master, Siggie would've been down off that soft place in a flash, jumping around his ankles, going "Bossbossbossboss you're HOME! You're HOME!" and probably heading for the treat canister.
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Wife to John, December 18, 1999 ~ Mother to Sophia, March 13, 2004 ~ Mother to Eva, June 10, 2006 ~ Mother to Matthew, December 21, 2009 ~ Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will lift me up. |
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06-03-2011, 10:58 AM | #44 |
Rose Trellis
Words are Worlds
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,221
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
Makes me soooo ill. Men like that make me want to forsake my commitment to treat all people gently, a part of me would be glad to make an exception for them!
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06-03-2011, 01:02 PM | #45 | |
Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 16,658
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Re: That Dobson quote about the dog is in post 13
Quote:
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CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David Save Save Save Save Save
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