When did homemaker change to stay-at-home-mom?

[Findabhair]

If you've ever watched Call the Midwife I think there's a huge key to how homemakers managed to get stuff done. The babies are often all outside in prams alone, the older kids are playing in the streets on their own, etc.

The society is different than it is now. The emphasis is less child centred and perfect parenting than it is now. I think we're under a lot of pressure to be awesome in all areas.

I grew up in a 50s style household and my mom made dinners from scratch, pies, did laundry, etc, etc but she never had time to talk to me or play with me. I was sent outside or downstairs to play. I needed to be out of the way.

I would much rather be there for my child than be a homemaker. I'm currently a stay at home mom. I don't really know what I'd prefer to be called as long as it's not "unemployed". That one has bothered me at times.

I'm not a very good housekeeper but I try. I don't make pies, some nights I don't even make dinner. I feel like I'm here because if I did work my husband couldn't do the job he does because his schedule can be very abrupt so I'm a money saving mama maybe. haha. Cuz with me home we don't have to pay for day care or after school care.

[ECingMama]

I'm okay with homeschooling mom.

And, yes, I agree, my house was clean because my sister and I spent the entire day at school and then spent all afternoon playing outside in the yard or in the street.....when we weren't watching tv. My mom was a very busy WAHM.

I like cleaning. I hate tidying. Mothering involves too much tidying. I guess I failed to teach my children to clean up after themselves!

[MegMarch]

I totally agree with and lol at the internet comment. But I think the reason we use it is because we aren't as often in actual, physical communities. The ones where people actually visit each other (so you have a reason to clean up oh, just me) and send kids to each others houses or a communal bunch of yards. That along with the internet's guilters like pinterest, facebook, etc. I don't think these things are necessarily bad, but they kind of up the feeling of expectations. "Oh, that toy exists, I should order it." And then clean it up or leave it out ... "I didn't know I was supposed to make shamrock themed meals all week, but all the classmates are getting them and I don't want Lulu to feel left out." "Homeschooling should look like..." And so on. I love all the good resources available but sometimes all the options feel like requirements and it ends up leaving not enough time or energy to tackle stuff.

As for my title, I prefer "boss."

[ECingMama]

Originally Posted by MegMarch

As for my title, I prefer "boss."

[teamommy]

Originally Posted by Findabhair

The society is different than it is now. The emphasis is less child centred and perfect parenting than it is now. I think we're under a lot of pressure to be awesome in all areas.

I think this is very true. Some of this is good, right? What would have passed a while ago for "kids working it out" or even boys physically fighting would now be considered negligent parenting, bullying, etc. Some of it is maybe not as good, because there is now more sheltering and less independence for kids, which also results in children less often experiencing direct consequences of their actions. People seem to take longer to grow up, too.

I would like to be better at the domestic arts, but I do homeschool and I put my priorities there and with cooking at home every day and beyond that, keeping things reasonably clean and neat is about all I can manage. Sewing, decorating like I'd like to, and all of that, might happen someday, but not now.

My mom worked some of the time and stayed at home other years. She was usually better at the homemaking part than I am, even when working. Some of that is because we were at school all day, but some of it is probably because we had much less Stuff then. I try to prune family possessions regularly, but it just seems like we and everyone else have so. Much. Stuff. And more stuff means more to deal with. I also remember that the average home size is much larger then it used to be, yet families were larger and it was more common to share bedrooms. It was very easy for me to keep me home super clean and mop every day when I had a much smaller home.

[Soliloquy]

Originally Posted by MrsDuck

I enjoyed reading it, too, but it left me wondering... HOW DID SHE DOOOOO IT?? I try so hard, and fail, most every day. And then I get frustrated and go for days without even trying and everything falls apart. Is is just that we have too much? Both physical stuff in the house, and time stuff on the calendar?

Kids went to school.

Kids played outside for HOURS every day. Rode their bikes or walked to the park or a friend's house.

No Internet or TV to distract mom.

No hyper-scheduling.

No credit cards, no online shopping, no Pinterest to make you think you should be doing more to make your house look like magazine.

No concept of fitness. Housework was manual labor.

People had FAR fewer clothes and far fewer things. Growing up in the 70s, my toys fit in ONE box. I had 3-4 outfits for each season, plus a Sunday dress.

No scrapbooking as a major event.

Food was food. No obsessing over macro or micro nutrients. No ethnic cooking, let alone fusion.

Life was slower and simpler.

[Chaos Coordinator]

Sure if my kids were gone and my house was smaller...I'd be ace at this.


I've been working on simplifying, owning less stuff, etc. but it doesn't really reduce the amount of time it takes to, like, bake a pie. And I still don't have time to sew my own clothes. All of them. Yikes.


I dream of a reasonably sized house on a plot of land where I can send my kids out, clean for an hour, and then lay down in peace. Chronic fatigue problems. Lol

[Soliloquy]

My mom did all that. And played with me, read to me, volunteered at my school. I was never pushed out of the house so she could clean or cook. We cleaned and cooked together and I played outside for hours because there were no computers or on-demand video. We received 6 tv channels. It was easier because there was just a lot less stuff. Most things were still made in the US and cost a lot more. People couldn't afford rooms full of toys or closets full of clothes or collections of hand bags. And she didn't have to worry about cps visiting because I was riding my bike around the neighborhood alone.

[kiloyd]

Originally Posted by mellifera

She didn't have internet.

That's what I was thinking.

[Beth1231]

My mom kept our home clean and organized when I was growing up. We all helped to clean up in the 30 minutes before my dad came home. I do something similar with my kids "so we can enjoy the evening together in a neat home."
But I don't consider myself a homemaker most days. I feel like I don't do nearly enough for a title like that. I don't even have pictures on the walls.
When people ask what I do, I say "I'm a sahm and I homeschool my oldest."

[Iveyrock]

Every time I see this thread pop up I think of this book:

http://www.amazon.com/What-Family-Ed...what+is+family

My mom read it when we were young, and it shaped her goals and ideals as a mom - and then she had me read it when I started having babies. It's dated, of course, but I loved it. It focuses on what it takes to make a home much more in the sense of things like holding memories and traditions, etc, rather than having a spotless house. It's really what I think about when I think of my role - not a homemaker in the sense that I keep our house spotless, but in the sense that it's my role to create a home for us.

(disclaimer, it's been awhile since I read the book. I can't remember anything non-gbd in it, but I can't say for sure)

[deena]

I remember that book.

[Blue-EyedLady]

I think domestic administration is my job description. I've been a wahm, sahm, wohm, both pt and ft. In all of that, I'm really doing the same job of administration of people and tasks. I'm not so great at nurturing.

[lucie]

How interesting. I put "homemaker" on my taxes, but I don't really feel like one... When talking to others here in the states, I usually say "staying home with the kids for now." When talking to people back in the Czech Republic, I say I am unemployed. My kids are little so everybody assumes I'm on maternity leave--you can take 3 years in the Czech Republic. So I respond, no, I chose to be unemployed because there is no maternity leave in the States.

I don't think I'd ever feel like a "homemaker." I clean up quickly and only make fast meals because I prefer to do other things. Even if the kids were in school all day, I'd probably still do stuff that's interesting or entertaining to me and not spend the time cooking and cleaning. My mom never liked cooking, and so she didn't quite instill in me the appreciation of making elaborate meals.


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[Chaos Coordinator]

I think its a bit silly to serve elaborate meals anyway. Its dinner. We aint fancy. I cooked your meat but if you want it seasoned here's the salt. You can put it on bread and have some raw carrots on the side. Voila.