Only child and homeschool

[gr8tful1]

We always wanted to homeschool, and still do, but were only blessed with one child. He has a lot of friends, but during the school year all of his friends are busy with school. He wants to attend a preschool, but the only one I would approve of is about 30 minutes away. Not a problem for me, but he probably won't make a lot of friends who will visit. This program is based on Reggio Emilia and has a homeschool component that allows kids to attend as many days as they prefer through 12th grade. They assist parents with following homeschool laws. It sounds great, but part of me feels guilty putting him in a preschool. I lean towards unschooling, and this school does follow interests, but part of me feels like I am letting him and our values down. The other part of me feel bad that he is so lonely much of the time. Guess I am just rambling, but am wondering if anyone has any thoughts. We do have him involved in activities, but he really likes extended time with the same kids.

[AngelaVA]

I think the Reggio school sounds perfect.

[MegMarch]

Perhaps start attending classes or just going to the same parks/children's museums/etc regularly so he can have time with the same kids often. You'll likely find some you mesh with who you can arrange for longer periods with.

You could consider trying out preschool to see how it works for your family but I don't think you need to.

[squiddles]

I love the Reggio approach to learning! And that it also has a homeschool component sounds awesome! The cool thing is that if it doesn't work out you can change your plans any time


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[gr8tful1]

Our back yard backs to a huge park/playground. We spend A LOT of time at the park. And there are lots of kids on our cul-de-sac. So, he has a lot of friends, many of which he sees often. He also does a few classes, and does a farm school one afternoon a week. But, during the school year his friends are so busy and he literally wails that he "needs someone to play with." I play with him, DH plays with him, but he loves being with other kids and loves having friends. It makes me so sad. But I have read blogs about how 4 year olds should be home with mom. And it makes me question things. At least the preschool we like would not try to force him to learn things he is not ready for and they spend a lot of time helping kids identify and express their feelings and make decisions with others. They also spend a lot of time helping the kids identify what their bodies are telling them and to understand the impact of their behaviors on others. He already has great social skills and his fairly advanced socially. But, he does want others to do what he wants to do...probably just a four year old thing, but a skill he will need to learn at some point.

[3PeasInAPod]

We had an only son for 8yrs. He too is very social. Also for me it was at times wearing to be his"playmate". So at 3 we did a preschool coop. It was the best compromise in that I didn't just drop him off and go -i was involved there too- though it was pretty traditional in learning style. After that year I found homeschool groups in the area and homeschool coops once a week. Also at 4 - he didn't always handle 'boredom' well and just started complaining he wanted to play with friends. As he got older he got more creative (art, woodworking, self guided play) which helped with filling in the time friends weren't around. If you really don't want to do the preschool- see what homeschool groups are around

[Ms_Dahl]

I home school an only. We've been homeschooling from the beginning. He's 10 now and this was his first year participating in a formal co-op type program for classes. I would be happy to help you with any questions you may have.

[tempus vernum]

I know several people who homesxhool only children.

But your description sounds exactly like my youngest so I had to chime in. She's 9.5 now and I think around 2.5 I started hearing she had no one to play with and its never stopped she's an extreme extrovert who could only be with people 100% of the time. We've made it work at home even though she says her siblings are too busy for her. She's 4.5 years younger so they don't play as much.. Or maybe nothing would be good enough for her extroverted self?

Not sure and not to minimize. just throwing out some personalities are always wanting more people time. But my dd2 would be one that was constantly talking if in school so school isn't something we are considering.

[mamacat]

Are there no closeby homeschool park days or meetups? You have to find the right balance for your child.My older dd has become an avid homeschooler.Her 10 yrold learns at home and hwr 4 ur old has attended a pre/play school a few mornings a week tho she will also be homeschooled.If you dont mind the drive I would suggest trying.If it is closeby friends you want to find I would search for meetups of other homeschoolers and go to them until you meet someone that is a right fit friend for you & your son

[CelticJourney]

Putting you child in any program is no guarantee that he won't be lonely. I was horribly lonely during my years of public school. Sometimes getting more involved in the homeschooling community means you will find other opportunities you didn't know about before that might meet your needs.

[mamacat]

I have 5 kids but only homeschooled my younger 2.It is very much a personality thing.My older homeschooler was content being home and only enjoyed certain amounts of playtime with other kids.With my younger it was never.enough. They are diff gender and 4 yrs apart in age so evne tho it was the 2 of them they didnt always play together so it isnt entirely an only thing.Have you considered a pet for him that he could play with?

[gr8tful1]

I so appreciate all the ideas and ability to "talk it out." We have reached out to a homeschool group, but they don't do much until the kids are about 1st grade. Doesn't sound like they are super active. We did get a dog but he isn't really old enough to play with her that much without a lot of supervision. I grew up with a sister, but she was 10 years older, so after the age of 8 I was essentially an older child. I was very lonely and used to stare out at the houses of kids who had siblings. So, part of this is probably my own issues. Although I was lonely, I was also shy. Not an easy combination. Thankfully, he is very outgoing and makes friends easily. Neighborhood kids are often at our house when not in school. I do think he would enjoy the preschool and it is the closest thing to unschooling in a social setting that one could get. He could also probably be in the same program with at least a few kids long term. Which may be good or bad, depending on the kid. Still, it is hard for me to turn the reigns over, so to speak, even only two mornings a week.

[Chickadee&Me]

That's sounds like a wonderful program.
Homeschooling an only child is an unique experience but it's doable

If you're interested (and anyone else) I started an Homeschooling an Only Child FB group for Christians (it is for onlies or a large (10 years) age gap. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1586974424880901/

[tessiemae]

Originally Posted by CelticJourney

Putting you child in any program is no guarantee that he won't be lonely. I was horribly lonely during my years of public school. Sometimes getting more involved in the homeschooling community means you will find other opportunities you didn't know about before that might meet your needs.

Thank you for sharing this. It's so lovely and sad and encouraging to me all at once. My oldest is bright and sensitive and sweet and sometimes talks about feelings of being lonely -- but it's never when he's been alone.

If God has tugged on our heart to homeschool, He will provide. I sincerely believe that and have had so many examples of his loving guidance over these past 18 years or so. Any time I've worried that the boys are too much on their own or that I am, I've prayed, and God has answered our prayers.

As a mom of two, I sometimes romanticize larger families and sometimes hear them being extolled by homeschooling experts. It's important for me to remember not to compare, to ask for God to help me to pray for my family, and to trust. The great body of Christ is truly rich. We've made sisters and brothers from many walks, ages, and places. I wouldn't want to make light of anyone's concerns about loneliness -- I'd encourage them to pray about it. Our family extrovert has discovered that senior citizens are often available for long breakfast meetings; that kids of many ages are home during the day; that most people are open to making a new friend; and that homeschooling has helped him to take risks in volunteering, witnessing, and diving into "scary" activities like singing in public.

peace,
tessiemae

[gr8tful1]

Thanks again! I thought about all the advice here, prayed, and we decided to try the preschool 2 mornings a week. I LOVE the democratic/Regio Emilia/unschooling philosophy of the school and the fact that he can attend all the way through 12th as a homeschool enrichment if we/he so choose. We can also opt out after the first trimester if it doesn't work out. I will still be homeschooling and we will still have a lot of time to do lots of activities and pursue his interests.

With my sister 10 years older than me, I do think I am feeling guilt and sadness for DS being an only. I also was very lonely, especially when I was with kids with siblings. I was also terribly shy. DS is an extrovert, which while it may be harder for him to be alone, will also enable him to reach out and make friends. There are a few other onlies in our neighborhood, which also helps. I also must remind myself that this is the family God so graciously gave me/us and He will provide in every way.