Above Rubies and failed adoptions

[MrsHutch]

Wow... I'm to learn more.

I've always had an off feeling about how SO many people adopt from Ethiopia... it just seemed too fast and too cheap and too popular. And now that they are changing their laws, it's all moving right over to Congo, and I don't feel good about that either, even though I really couldn't count the number of friends I have who either have adopted or are in the process of adopting from either Ethiopia or Congo. I didn't know that it started in Liberia.

[MissusLeata]

I always expect people to tell me the truth. I really don't like being lied to.

[TestifyToLove]

I would love to give you more details than this. However, this information was told to me in strict confidence. The research spent over two years putting this information together. Plus, as I said, in addition to the magazine article there is a book about the Liberian adoptions being written which already has a publisher. I can tell you the researcher/journalist/writer is a VERY legitmate source, someone whose name you would recognize, and someone I have met PERSONALLY at this point.

I do not want to interfer with someone's work and career and to reveal details I was told in confidence and asked to not share would do that. I can assure that my information comes from a VERY reliable source and that all will come to light eventually. The shroud of secrecy and the Campbell ability to mask it and hide it will be short-lived at this point.

I doubt it will make a difference in their ministry. Those who buy their line of garbage don't use critical thinking to analyze their naysayers in the first place. If those followers were going to use critical thinking and listen to unbiased and definitive information, then the entire Liberian fiasco wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Liberia was a DISASTER. When it got closed, they mostly moved to Ethiopia. Now that they turned a strong, ethical adoption program into a child grabbing nightmare, yes they are moving to the Congo and they will do the same thing there. THIS behavior by "Christians" is what is slowing putting a stranglehold on international adoption. Their Machiavellian all means are acceptabale to rescue an orphan and teach them about Christ is what is destroying an institution that was meant to be a measure of hope for children with no other options left in their lives.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

I cannot wait until that article comes out. I really want to read it.

[yellowheart]

Slightly OT...but, not everyone who adopted from Ethiopia has/had ill-intentions. I have seen this first hand.

[PaperMomma]

This is the first I've heard of any of this. But wow, seems like a big deal.



Is this why so many people are wanting to adopt from Ethiopia? And why the wait times for a child from ethiopia have just gotten really long?

[MrsHutch]

Originally Posted by yellowheart

Slightly OT...but, not everyone who adopted from Ethiopia has/had ill-intentions. I have seen this first hand.

I totally agree. Like I said, I have many friends who have adopted or are adopting from there and they would all agree that ethical regulations should be in place, and would be horrified to know that anything less than honest was happening there. From what I can tell, it has been so popular because it was the fastest and cheapest country to adopt from, and now Congo is, so many are moving to adopt from there instead.

Sorry if it seemed like I was casting doubt on the *families* who adopt from there. It was meant as more of a question of the country/orphanage side of things.

[Can'tTurnLeft]

Originally Posted by PaperMomma

Is this why so many people are wanting to adopt from Ethiopia? And why the wait times for a child from ethiopia have just gotten really long?

No this isn't why so many people wanted to adopt from Ethiopia. So many people were going to Ethiopia because it was relatively fast when the programs started to catch on. You could have an infant in six months start to finish. Most people who adopt have ZERO idea about child trafficking, and that is a big part of why some of these countries are so quick. People want a baby, they want a baby quickly. Most people have zero clue about the ethical pitfalls that can and are present in adoptions and want to give a child who needs a home, a home, and at the same time fill their home that they think needs a child with a child. Adoption is *hard* and for a lot of people it comes at the end of a really long and hard infertility process too. Missionary adoptions exist, but they aren't the largest motivating factor for adoption by any stretch of the imagination.

However if you see a large family with a mix of biological and African children there is a good chance that missionary adoption was a part of it, but not always. TTL is a good example of a large family with biological and adopted children who never was a missionary adopter.

Yes, missionary adoption exists. It is a sad motivation for adoption. But it is a small percentage of all total international adoptions.

[Mommainrwanda]

People are adopting from CONGO? Wow. I live a little bit too close to that craziness to be comfortable with that idea.

Of course, the president here is trying to close all of the orphanages in Rwanda so kids are being fostered out at a rather, in my opinion, alarming rate. But the stats sure look good [/sarcasm].

I'm also curious about TTL's recommendation against reading Primal Wound - I thought that was standard adoption fare? But I haven't read it.

[Can'tTurnLeft]

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[MrsHutch]

Originally Posted by Mommainrwanda

Of course, the president here is trying to close all of the orphanages in Rwanda so kids are being fostered out at a rather, in my opinion, alarming rate. But the stats sure look good [/sarcasm].

Slight derail:
That happened in Romania when they had to close their orphanages as part of the requirement to join the EU... most of the kids just got kicked to the streets. I'm afraid the same is going to happen in Moldova because the are desperate to join the EU, even though the EU will NEVER take them, now that they have seen what money pits the poorer countries are.

End derail.

[TestifyToLove]

No, not all families adopting from Ethiopia are or ever were this brand of missionary adopter. However, the craze of missionary adopters who were sent by Above Rubies into Liberia and shut the program down turned the majority of their attention towards Ethiopia after Liberia closed. Their ilk is a HUGE part of why Ethiopia is having trouble and trafficking issues are cropping up. And yes, they are turning their attention towards the Congo. It doesn't mean ALL adoptive families in ANY program are this style of adoptive family. It doesn't mean all large adoptive families are this way.

However, the Quiverful readers of Above Rubies who "answered the call" Nancy Campbell put out to adopt for conversion are by huge percentages this way, and they have swarmed programs across Africa to swoop up children to evangelize and rescue them.

There's a several hundred year old missionary fervor amongst ultra Fundamentalist Christians that they need to convert deepest, darkest Africa. They don't generally enter adoption programs outside of Africa because of this mindset. They also have NO concept nor understanding one of the oldest churches in the WORLD is in Africa, nor that most areas of Africa have been at least percentages of Christian while Europe was still in tribal affliations and worshipping druid gods.

When these missionary adopters enter adoption programs, they don't CARE about ethics, morality, or legality. They believe they are fighting for the very souls of children and thus ALL MEANS ARE ACCECPTABLE. They don't care how children are obtained, nor do they care what happens to the children after the message has been provided for them. They adopt with the mentality that they will evangelize these African children, teach them morals and worth ethics, then set them loose into the world grateful that they were rescued by Americans and without family and support. These children are held apart from the "real" family. They and all of the biological children are constantly reinforced that they are different than everyone else.

They are not even the bulk of the call to the church to adopt. They are a minor subset of adoptive families, but the damage they cause is tremendous for everyone. They existed before Nancy Campbell entered the fray. However, she sparked a movement a cause, and a momentum that hasn't stopped even today, despite the destruction left in it's path.

As for Primal Wound, it's not that I don't recommend the book ever. It is NOT a book I would recommend to someone before adopting. It is NOT a book that should be read without balance and experience. Even as a birthmother, I resent a great deal of what is written in the book because it paints ALL adoptees and birthmothers with the SAME cloth--which is ridiculous. It is NOT a book that will prepare you to actually adopt, but will scare you away. It provides no pratical advice on helping an child of adoption with their struggles and healing. I would FAR more likely recommend something such as The Weaver's Craft, Attaching in Adoption, or even Adoption Nation LONG before I would recommend Primal Wound to someone preparing to adopt. Nancy Campbell is recommending that book because she is essentially stating that none of the disaster is HER fault, afterall all adoptees are like this and were doomed to do what happened whether they entered her home or another home. That is malarky.

[CelticJourney]

Pulling this back around to the Campbells.... I think that what you are seeing with their adoptions is a result of their view of children and their view of themselves. They believe they have a corner of Truth and only they can 'save' these people. They believe their ends justifiy their means, but it abuse of what I see as a sacred promise of adoption or abuse of the child itself. They are so convinced they are 'above' that nothing else seems to matter. The rush of others within their group to participate in the Campbell's 'vision' is just another symptom of an abusive community.

(and yes, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse study really is giving me insight to some of th dynamics we see play out with punitive parenting teachers - I find myself saying that a lot lately )

[bliss]

Well, since I wasn't sworn to secrecy by a journalist, I will share that my friend P who is very close to Nancy and runs the AR retreats for this region once got a phone call from one of the Liberian girls who was out of the Campbell home. She contacted P because she was contacting everyone with contact info in the AR magazines, attempting to counter what Nancy was saying about her. She made it plain to P that she was abandoned by the family because she wanted more out of life than watching kids, cooking, and cleaning. She wanted to come to America to get her education and make something of herself, and that's not what AR is about . They want women in the home, having babies. So they shipped her off to another home and basically wrote her off, and then told people that she was 'rebellious' and off the rails behaviorally.
P, being a good little AR Bunny didn't really believe any of it .

[schmamy]

this is certainly an interesting and eye-opening thread...

so what can you do, as someone thinking of adopting or preparing to adopt, to make yourself aware of the ethics issues and avoid sketchy or downright evil child trafficking practices?

and, back to Stacy's derail - why do countries have to close down their orphanages in order to join the EU?!