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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 02-15-2010, 09:42 AM   #16
katiekind
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

Quote:
The thing is though, if you truely use the wepon the way the Pearls say to, that so called line, isnt really there.. Sure, they would never say murder your child.. But they DO say to spank until the child is "repentant" And initiates healing the relationship. If they don't do that, or they continue to cry, you are supposed to continue to spank... How is that not advocating things like this??????
I think you're right, Jennie. Saying that there is a line is protective for the Pearls. I am not sure how useful it is for parents and children. This is so sad.
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Old 02-15-2010, 09:53 AM   #17
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

I agree, there's no line when you're relying on someone else telling you how to parent.
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:09 AM   #18
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

I have had enough. Pearl's tactics are abuse. Plain and simple. He advocates for abuse towards women and children and it's got to be stopped. It can't be allowed! It's as bad as honor killings or FGM and some group of people say, "But it's our religion." No, there's nothing religious about hurting children! Especially children who are already vulnerable. I'm already mad enough about this culture of abuse in the black community and everywhere else. It has got to stop. This guy must be dragged out and exposed for what he is and stopped!
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:49 AM   #19
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

I shouldn't have read this. Thank you Lord that that little girl is with you where no one can hurt her anymore. Please protect Your children... All of them.

I agree with whoever said that this makes homeschooling look bad too.
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Old 02-15-2010, 11:31 AM   #20
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Mrs_Chris* View Post
The thing is though, if you truely use the wepon the way the Pearls say to, that so called line, isnt really there.. Sure, they would never say murder your child.. But they DO say to spank until the child is "repentant" And initiates healing the relationship. If they don't do that, or they continue to cry, you are supposed to continue to spank...
Exactly. And then it becomes the child's fault because if they had only repented, they wouldn't have needed to be spanked/whipped/beaten until it got far enough to kill them.
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Old 02-15-2010, 11:53 AM   #21
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

When you get into this creepy concept of "defiance" or whatever it is these parenting methods claim to be responding to, you also get into situations, where, if a parent should realize they are wrong partway into "correcting" a child, they have to continue because the parenting methods don't allow them to take any input from the child as evidence they were wrong. Even reasoning from the child is to be taken as evidence the defiance is still there so nothing can stop the cycle unless the child can somehow fake repentance.

I can just imagine this child may have even tried to fake repentance at some point, but there was just no way to follow up with a correct pronunciation if she COULDN'T and the parents wouldn't take any amount of endurance on her part as evidence she couldn't from the beginning lest she "win".
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:03 PM   #22
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

How much longer will this go on?
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:16 PM   #23
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

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Old 02-15-2010, 12:16 PM   #24
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

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Old 02-15-2010, 12:28 PM   #25
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

I wonder if the Pearls are aware of this.
They teach to beat a child until he/she stops crying. These children are silenced forever.
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:29 PM   #26
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

Heartbreaking.
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:33 PM   #27
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

This is just so sickening and heartbreaking. When will people understand how dangerous it is to follow Pearl? I worry about children I know whose parents follow this man and his teachings.
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Old 02-15-2010, 08:25 PM   #28
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

Quote:
Originally Posted by TestifyToLove View Post

Micheal Pearl should face homocide charges for these deaths. He should be locked away and his materials and website should be handled in the same manner is child pornography. It is just as vile and dangerous to children, but especially to adopted children.





What I want to say about those human beings who have promoted these horrid child rearing practices, I cannot in good faith say on a public forum.

I don't even know how to pray for this, it makes me so angry... but I will pray nonetheless.
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Old 02-18-2010, 12:40 PM   #29
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

It is just unbelieveable that there are parents following them.
Those poor children.
I was never a follower either. I dont know of anyone what follows them persay but I think most of the parents in my church are punitive. I cant even imagine actually going to a hardware store and buying plumbing line to beat a child.
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Old 02-18-2010, 12:55 PM   #30
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Default Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods

You know, we can prosecute the Pearls here on earth, but won't stop anything. Yeah, it would give justice to those poor babies that have been abused b/c of his methods. But the truth is, Michael Pearl has to face God one day. And he's going to get to heaven and say "Look, I did what you wanted me to do! I saved children's souls" and God is going to say "NO, you did not. That was not my work. That was horrible. Sorry. goodbye".

That's how I look at it anyway.
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