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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 05-25-2006, 01:15 PM   #1
Love
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Default Ezzo drama

So I was at playgroup and a woman pulled out a book and asked everyone if they had heard of it. It was of course, GK"G"W. I must've had the 'look' on my face because she immediately asked me directly. She is very outspoken and likes to debate, and I am the exact opposite. I don't even like to talk to the whole group at the same time.

So I start talking, very nicely and calmly and a bit nervous but feeling like God is really helping me... I talk about his personal character issues, the hospitialized FTT babies, the Bible verses he completely ignores, how Eve would have done it with no schedules and cribs, how Mary did it, how God chose to have Jesus born into that exact culture at that time, how man now thinks he can do better than God in these things, then (because he came up) how Dr. Sears is a godly man and father of eight and an actual doctor. (That is more than I ever said at playgroup ever!)

So what does this older, outspoken, known-for-debating lady have to defend Ezzo with? Nothing. Doesn't even try. I was shocked and thankful. Did I do that good of a job?!

Thank God also that the Ezzo Leader wasn't at that playgroup that day, or I may have lost my nerve.

To my suprise, another mom supported me, others seemed very open to what I was saying, and then on their own they took off on really bashing the *Pearls!*

So now the issue is pretty much divisiveness. I sent www.ezzo.info to everyone and was thanked by some of the moms. One of the moms did a mass email apologizing for bashing some of our 'Christian leaders.' One of the new moms did a huge Bible study with Ezzo quotes and and tried at the next playgroup to ask the two Ezzo moms about things, and they flat out denied all of Ezzo's direct quotes and basicly refused to dicsuss it with her. The two Ezzo moms will not answer any of my emails, and I have not seen them personally (I missed the next playgroup due to sick kiddos). I think they are pretty annoyed at me. I have sent out a few emails answering other ones saying it is not bashing to speak the truth in love, to honestly state facts, etc... But the issue seems to be there looming and even growing... The one who started playgroup wants to make rules now that we can't talk about controversial things....

I don't know what my point really is. I am just going thru all this right now, and I hate drama. I have feeling uncomfortable, that people are "mad at me." But I am so glad I said something. The biggest thing for me is just that the two Ezzo moms don't seem to have a leg to stand on and *just don't care.*
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Old 05-25-2006, 01:21 PM   #2
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

Good for you! Praise God He gave you courage and words to say.

It's sad about the Ezzo moms who don't seem to want to listen, but you never know. They might be having an internal struggle, or your words might ring in their ears later.
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Old 05-25-2006, 02:28 PM   #3
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

Good for you!

Quote:
So now the issue is pretty much divisiveness.
Yes, and this is definitely a sticky wicket. There is a dynamic within Ezzo material that creates division. The world is viewed as us/them.

I am so sorry. I pray wisdom and love will guide everyone concerned.
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Old 05-25-2006, 02:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

Did you do that good of a job? Sweetie, you did FANTASTIC!!!
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Old 05-25-2006, 04:00 PM   #5
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

Quote:
Originally Posted by katiekind
Yes, and this is definitely a sticky wicket. There is a dynamic within Ezzo material that creates division. The world is viewed as us/them.
This is what I have heard from other ex-Ezzoites -- that once they stopped using the method, they were basically shunned.
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Old 05-25-2006, 05:58 PM   #6
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

Quote:
I think they are pretty annoyed at me. I have sent out a few emails answering other ones saying it is not bashing to speak the truth in love, to honestly state facts, etc...... The one who started playgroup wants to make rules now that we can't talk about controversial things....

You did very well!!! You didn't bring the subject up, you were specifically addressed and you spoke the truth. Sometimes these things are placed right were we can't avoid them - where we are given the opportunity to be soldiers and fight the good fight. Of course they are annoyed with you - you spoke the truth about the lies they embrace - don't worry about it.
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Old 05-25-2006, 06:06 PM   #7
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

I think you did a great job... I'm not sure I would have been able to speak out like that - I don't like to sew discord, either. But that fear shouldn't keep me from speaking the truth.

Really, way to go!
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Old 05-25-2006, 06:18 PM   #8
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Default Re: Ezzo drama



No one wants to be wrong. Of course they're avoiding you.
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Old 05-26-2006, 05:21 AM   #9
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

I think you did a super job. Disagreement is always uncomfortable but that doesn't mean it is wrong. You may have saved some other family from going down the Babywise road just because the momma heard the conversation and won't pick up the book next time she's at Barnes and Noble.
Quote:
The one who started playgroup wants to make rules now that we can't talk about controversial things....
Wow. That is an extreme move. I hope she doesn't do that. Talk about the thought police.

momma! You done good!

Magan
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Old 05-30-2006, 11:30 AM   #10
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Default Re: Ezzo drama

Thank you so all so much for the support! Things got a bit tense and I really needed it.

Just for a little update, those other two moms still haven't said anything to me. I haven't seen them at all either. We have this awful bug in our house (that we got from them!) and it is not fun, so we haven't been out and about much. There is another playgroup today, but we won't be there.

I think the issue might be over soon enough anyway, because there is not a lot of interest in continuing playgroup during the summer when everyone is so busy otherwise.

Something I really liked, was one of the influential moms in the group told me that when someone is so focused on a man and his book, they are obviously not focused on The Man (JC) and HIS Book... Isn't that good? She thinks we should concentrate a LOT more on scripture and what we have learned from it so as to concentrate less on Ezzo.
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