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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Old 01-26-2006, 01:43 PM   #1
cklewis
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Default Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

Can you all fill me in? What motivated it all? When did it start? I'm talking a history lesson here. Some of you were "there," weren't you? I know it was Cali. I know it was at Grace Community, right? Is there an article on all this?

I think I remember reading in your blog, TulipMama, that *someone* interpreted those early years as a necessary counterbalance to the over-crunchiness of Cali at the time. How do YOU all remember it?



C
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Old 01-26-2006, 02:14 PM   #2
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

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Old 01-26-2006, 02:43 PM   #3
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

I believe there is a timeline on the Ezzo.info site put together by Taketime from the PP board. If you don't find it there, I have a copy in word and can send it to you.
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:52 PM   #4
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by cklewis
I think I remember reading in your blog, TulipMama, that *someone* interpreted those early years as a necessary counterbalance to the over-crunchiness of Cali at the time. How do YOU all remember it?



C
I've heard that explaination before.

But quite frankly, I find it hard to believe. And its not just Ezzo that uses it...its just about every punative parenting author. "The world is going to he** in a handbasket, parents are permissive, kids are terrible. Crime is up, and it is massively impacting on our kids." Dobson even has a truly incredible "quote" (he doesn't footnote it, so you can't check his source) in "The New Dare to Discipline" about how one advanced placement highschool class in Baltimore was surveyed, and 75% of the students had WITNESSED a murder. Not just known of someone personally that was murdered, but WITNESSED a murder. Come on! I did live a sheltered childhood, but not *that* sheltered, and I don't even know someone personally that was murdered (though I have done extensive research on the murder of a librarian from the college I went to--which did lead to a grand jury re-convening to look at the case nearly 20 years after the event, but she was killed 5 years before I even so much as set foot on the campus for a tour.)

So seriously, I find it hard to believe. Growing up in public schools there were kids who had more permissive parents than others. But permissive parenting was an oddity enough that EVERYONE knew who it was that "got away with everything." Even when I look at TV programs, for the most part parents who are authoritative are depicted as good parents, not permissive parents.

Yes, there is sin in the world. Yes, there are problems in parenting. But I just don't see an overwhelmingly permissive culture that someone existed in the 70's & 80's, and now we have to react against it. But hey, maybe I've got my head in the sand.

BTW, I'm looking for an old copy of Dr. Spock to read to find out what it is that he actually taught--since he is the "poster child" for all things negative in parenting from the punative Christian mindset. If you have one that you would loan out, I'd love to get it. I want to see if he really was all that bad...or is he just the "Dr. Brazelton" of the 1950's?

Jenn
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:59 PM   #5
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

I don't know if this is what you are looking for or not. This was put together by Taketime who posts under a different name on this board - I'll let her claim her work if she wants


Quote:
The Timeline of Events
(Note--some events have been grouped by together by topic rather than by date for the sake of clarity.)

Fall of 1966 - Summer of 1969 -- Gary Ezzo took several classes at Mohawk Valley Community College but did not get an AA degree
By late 1979 -- Gary Ezzo was considered to be one of the leaders/elders of His Vantage Point Church in Laconia, NH (This church came to be known as Lakes Region Bible Church.)
1980/1981 -- Gary became pastor of this church
1982 or 1983 -- Gary was asked to step down from leadership of this church [Documented in CRI article located at: "http://www.equip.org/free/DG233.htm"]


Gary then moved his family--his wife Anne Marie, and their two daughters, from New Hampshire to Southern California.

1983 – Gary entered Talbot School of Theology full time, to pursue a Master of Arts in Ministry degree in a program that gives credit for ministry experience in lieu of requiring a 4-year degree.
1984 – Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo started teaching parenting classes at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley CA. They were sought out by people who admired the behavior of their 2 teenaged daughters.
1984 -- The Bible & Common Sense Parenting tract copyrighted by Gary Ezzo which offers the unusual theological view that

"positive parental behavior creates a type of spiritual inertia. In other words, once the parents have instilled biblical patterns into their child, their training should carry him to the point where God's spirit will take control of the reins of his heart. Without sufficient spiritual inertia generated in the formative years (birth through twelve), the child will ultimately limit the influence of God in his life." This tract is still available from GFI.

1985 – Ezzo listed a degree he never earned, even specifying a major and a grade point average, on an employment application after being given a position at Grace Community Church.-- [Documented in "Unprepared to Teach Parenting", Christianity Today,
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:19 PM   #6
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

My *impression* is that Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo had two wonderful daughters and were very involved with ministry. They knew another couple and together they were reaching out to other families, encouraging them, and teaching them some things that *may* have been overlooked in their cultural context (forming a strong family identity, importance of active involvement in children's lives, importance of a strong marriage, etc.) My *impression* is that it grew from there, and the Ezzos became more dogmatic and expanded their teachings. Their influence grew and so they began to focus on this new "ministry" and grew it into a business. At some point, people came to them with weaknesses in what they were teaching, but it was harder for them to acknowledge those weaknesses or admit mistakes because of all that they had published, proclaimed and promoted.

Later, the Ezzos were confronted by the elders of their church(es) and did not respond with repentence. Hence, the unresolved church discipline issues.



cklewis, I believe you remember reading a discussion that was over at Hubby's blog, probably this one:
http://www.postmodernclog.com/archives/001121.html


But it may have been another one:
http://www.google.com/search?q=ezzo+...&start=10&sa=N


Or at my blog:
http://www.tulipgirl.com/mt/archives..._babywise.html

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Old 01-26-2006, 06:21 PM   #7
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

Oh, and here is the link to the full timeline of the Ezzo controversy:

http://ezzo.info/Timeline/timeline1.htm


It is a MUST read for anyone at all connected with Ezzo or interested in how his materials have impacted parenting.
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:51 PM   #8
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

CKL,
In one of my conversations with her, Ann Marie Ezzo told me personally that the beginning was about other people asking them for help/input. BUT I remember Gary saying that the baby stuff was exactly intended as a counterbalance--a fresh breath of common sense to all the rampant AP stuff in CA.

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Old 01-26-2006, 09:32 PM   #9
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

Quote:
the child will ultimately limit the influence of God in his life."


Wow, I didn't realize that children were powerful enough to limit God.
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Old 01-28-2006, 07:24 AM   #10
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knitted_in_the_womb
But quite frankly, I find it hard to believe. And its not just Ezzo that uses it...its just about every punative parenting author. "The world is going to he** in a handbasket, parents are permissive, kids are terrible. Crime is up, and it is massively impacting on our kids."
Yeah -- that sound about right. From what *I* remember, Dobson started to go national in the early 80s. I mean, we'd look in the paper to find where those movies were being shown after church so we could go there. So I guess I'm wondering if Ezzo saw a cash-cow in all the parenting what-not. Just a suspicious, cynical thought. . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knitted_in_the_womb
BTW, I'm looking for an old copy of Dr. Spock to read to find out what it is that he actually taught--since he is the "poster child" for all things negative in parenting from the punative Christian mindset. If you have one that you would loan out, I'd love to get it. I want to see if he really was all that bad...or is he just the "Dr. Brazelton" of the 1950's?
Oh, I got one! My mom gave it to me. Good ol' mom. Then again -- maybe I found it at a used book store. Anyway, I read it several years back, but tbh, it was pretty Ezzo-ish. By that I mean, it was pretty scheduled and formula-feeding-focused. I'll go get it in a sec and look at it. I would most certainly describe him as the Brazelton of the 50s. Mainstream, skimming the surface of the parenting culture, and writing it all down. I found nothing that would make him sound permissive. My mom said she liked him back then.

Yes, Elizabeth, I did re-read that timeline. It seems that Ezzo is just behind Dobson in getting rolling. I still wonder if he fancied himself THAT influential. I mean, I'm looking for an external motivation to understand Evangelical trends. The 80s were our bliss, you all remember? Reagan was prez. . . . Ah, Reagan. . . .

Thanks for the blog links, TM. Yes, it was your hubby's blog. I remember now. I will go re-read those too. . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by fourbzboysmom
In one of my conversations with her, Ann Marie Ezzo told me personally that the beginning was about other people asking them for help/input. BUT I remember Gary saying that the baby stuff was exactly intended as a counterbalance--a fresh breath of common sense to all the rampant AP stuff in CA.
You kinda get that there's something specifically stuck in his craw about it, yk? It's not a thorough presentation of AP, it's not accurate, and it's very superficial. Like they had a neighbor who bugged him or something. . . .

Off to read. Be back. . . .

C
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Old 01-28-2006, 07:36 AM   #11
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

Yeah, TM, this was the one (http://www.postmodernclog.com/archives/001121.html). What do you think of Greg's take? What do the rest of you think? Anybody there at the time? Is that how YOU'D describe it? I mean, I'm not in SoCal, but I know life's different on the left coast. . . .

Jenn? I'm going to start a new thread about Spock. I have my Mom's hardback copy from 1957. Third printing. First one in 1945.

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Old 02-02-2006, 07:10 PM   #12
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .

Camille, I have definitely thought at times, "I bet Ezzo knew some body or somebodies who identified themselves as AP/La Leche League parents who bugged him." I don't really know what the impetus was. I first encountered him circa 1990-1991 on his Southern California call-in radio program.

The Spock my mother used when I was born in 1958 was very Ezzo-like. When I told her about Ezzo and his teachings she confessed she had handled me much the same way. My mother is not a person who cries, but she cried a bit as she told me about it, and how she regrets it.
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Old 02-02-2006, 08:39 PM   #13
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Default Re: Ezzo, the Early Years. . . .



(I need to come back to this later. . . )
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