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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

 
 
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Old 02-10-2006, 12:14 PM   #1
butterflymommy
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Default How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?

Hi,
I am new here. I am here because the Pearls badly influenced me. They are a ministry to families. I think it is relevant to discuss how they were poor shepards to my family. We were lambs relying on thir guidance with our family. After six years with the Pearls, I can truly attest that they are scary people that hurt my flock! My heart is sad, but at rest for cutting the strings! KWIM? I need a fresh look, and this idea of gentle parenting appeals to me, but doesn't, at the same time. I have parented one way for so long. I afraid of losing what works and not sure if I can change. The Pearls way worked, but at a sad cost of my sweet chidren's hearts. I want to lose the adversarial relationship I built up around my relationship with my children. I'm scared that I will fail, though. I have very sweet, loving children. I am also very loving to them. I do not spank a lot or yell a lot. I, do, however HATE it when they disobey. It makes me sick to my stomach that I feel that way,but that is the truth. They are not rebellious, except some little things, which we normally work out easily. I am afraid that I will create little brats if I do not train them like I have been. I think my big thing will be when I give them a command, like, come here, and they won't come like I expect them to, what then? According to the Pearl's methods, they would get spanked for not obeying a command with no warning, just a "whap" until they come with a sweet smile. I looked at the 5 steps that GCM posted and it confuses me. After making the first command, am I to make an additional request, then if they still won't obey, do a lot of pleading, then if that doesn't work, go get them myself, and if that doesn't work, go and give them a bear hug? All the while, not angry that they are ignoring me? All the while feeling OK with their behavior? That doesn't feel right to me. It seems just like a silly dance that will leave me looking like a fool and my children will become brats. Be gentle with me, mothers...These are just some thoughts about how difficult this GCM parenting will be for me. I know this way is right, but I just don't know if I can pull it off?

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