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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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08-08-2005, 06:16 PM | #16 | |||
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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Perhaps this is the Pearl-esque version of looking at things with positive intent??? Holly (Forgive me if that's not actually as funny as it struck me. My migraine meds have killed the migraine, but sometimes leave my sense of humour a bit suspect! ) |
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08-08-2005, 06:54 PM | #17 |
Rose Garden
Why thank you, it is naturally blue...
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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Last edited by Katigre; 11-22-2020 at 09:15 PM. |
08-08-2005, 07:23 PM | #18 | ||
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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Sadly, abuse DOES occur in Christian homes, and pretending it doesn't or minimizing the reality of it, doesn't make it go away for the husbands, wives, and children involved. |
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08-08-2005, 07:29 PM | #19 | |
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sisters!
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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Deanna
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
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08-08-2005, 08:56 PM | #20 | |
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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It made me think of someone who had posted on these boards 6 months or so ago about how she had written to Debi Pearl for advice about a difference of opinion she and her husband had regarding care of the family dog. Debi likewise ripped into her. I thought back in the GCM case, and I commented to my husband in regards to the recent blog, that Debi responds like a bitter wife. She seems like someone who has been forced into a role that she doesn't really want...but she is trying to be super Christian about it. But her bitterness comes to the surface so easily. Perhaps the content of her messages to these two women was what they needed (though I didn't think so in the GCM case), but where does she get support in scripture for her tone? We are told to correct each other GENTLY. It is only when a brother or sister in Christ resists correction that we are to respond more forcefully. Jenn |
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08-09-2005, 09:35 AM | #21 | |
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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There are other solutions, we just need to pray for discernment as to what the best solution is in a particular situation. |
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08-09-2005, 09:46 AM | #22 | |||
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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08-09-2005, 10:32 PM | #23 |
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
I think that the bible talks about this kind of stuff as stuff that looks close to the truth, even sounds good, but is contrary to what is true. Sort of like the anti christ will be to the real Christ..KWIM?
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08-10-2005, 04:17 AM | #24 | |||||
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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i understand where you are coming from though because that's exactly where i was 10 years ago, 5 years ago and 3 years ago. i was blinded by my own beliefs about what it meant to be a godly wife and as a result lived in an abusive dynamic. i could have made some changes which were fully within my circle of responsibility to make had i known better. unfortunately for my husband, children, church and myself i didn't until we had all suffered tremendous damage. i couldn't change my husband but i could change myself and my responses to his sinful choices. ptl, i finally did and we now have a much healthier family and marriage. Quote:
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08-10-2005, 05:08 AM | #25 |
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
I am agreeing with Heidi.
I think the message in Created to Be... will reinforce abusive dynamics within Christian households (the ones that have the abusive dynamic.) We were in a spiritual environment that encouraged this (about 15 years ago) and dh did become more controlling and abusive. Everything was put on my shoulders even when the blame was primarily his (you would think) the people who counciled us would turn the blame to me. I talked too much and I should never talk more than my husband (who is quiet, ha) and then I would try to heed their advice and they would turn around and say, "You're too quiet it makes your husband look bad because people think you're sad." I had to cook to please him and alter my tastes and personality to please him. When I finally stood up for myself and created a boundary he became much nicer. In fact he's the opposite of what that legalistic system was creating. I think the Pearls are a blight on the Christian landscape. They are creating bondage for women and children, encouraging sin and excess in men, and making us all the laughingstock of non-Christians who have a chance to observe this mess. DB |
08-10-2005, 05:43 AM | #26 | |
Rose Garden
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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08-10-2005, 05:54 AM | #27 |
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
Yeah, I'll turn the other cheek and the other and other (that's three ) spin and give him a really good roundhouse kick.......not quite sure I could *reach* the upper cheeks and the lower cheeks aren't a good target, lets see....floating ribs....good.
Whatever, we weren't created to be....punching bags. db |
08-10-2005, 06:05 AM | #28 | ||
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
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I'm not advocating what the Pearls' teach; I've heard a lot of good reviews on the book; I, from the sample chapter, wasn't hung up on it. But I am seeing this thread develop a "submission= abusive dynamic" which I'm finding troubling. Even the phrase "abusive dynamic" is vague. Keep in mind that any embrace of traditional roles by a man can be seen in today's society as "abusive". |
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08-10-2005, 06:08 AM | #29 |
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
Sarah,
You would have a stronger point if Michael Pearl wrote a companion book, "Created to be a Lover as Christ Loves the Church." But I'm not holding my breath. db |
08-10-2005, 06:53 AM | #30 |
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Re: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
Actually statistically speaking, marriages that continually harp on the submisison of the wife are much more likely to have spousal abuse.
and, in fact, among evangelicals anyway, the spousal abuse rate is THE SAME as society. I drew all of my information from the latest Ron Sider book "Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience" I am not saying it CAUSES abuse, but it doesn't help prevent it either. C
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