The word s*xy

[Castle On A Cloud]

Obviously not a word I really want my 3 and 5 year old to be using There has been some exposure to the word, via a cartoon that DH watches. Removing the cartoon in question... well lets just pretend we do end up doing that. They will still say the word. Is this a hill to die on, or should I just ignore when they use the word? I am the mom that is generally okay with her kids calling something stupid, or dumb...but for some reason s*xy just bugs the crud out of me...

[Striving4Grace]

Well, eventually they will have to learn that some words are inappropriate and this is, at least at this time of their lives, one of them. I'd just say something like "That's not a nice word to use right now. Try _______."

[Castle On A Cloud]

I ask them *what does that word mean?* and they tell me *Oh, it means if a girl is beautiful.* And I tell them *well then say beautiful...* I will tell them not to use that word, and they will ask why. I do tell them to use a different word, that the word s*xy is not a nice word to use, and they just ask why? I don't really know how to answer that

[Sparrow]

Could you describe it in a way that maybe it's a word for beautiful that only daddy says to mommy? Probably not the best way to put it

I can understand you not wanting your kids to use it but the word itself doesn't bug me - like if someone called me s*xy it wouldn't bug me. I might tell them to get their head checked though

[Danae]

I've dealt with some sexual hangups as an adult and I don't ever want my 2yo daughter to feel negatively about sexual things. That said, I also have very strong opinions about what's appropriate for children (I turned off a cartoon the other day because the main character called another character a "hottie".) If my DD starting saying "sexy" or "hottie" or something similar, I'd be very matter-of-fact (no big reaction), tell her it's a word that grown-ups use, and help her find another word.

[Castle On A Cloud]

Def dont want them to have issues with sexuality. I guess I do not have an issue with the word, in the right context/situation. When a 3 yo is any part of the situation, it's just not okay to me

[Danae]

I'm totally with you! It's hard to find a balance. I want my DD to develop healthy attitudes about sex, but in general, I think children are over-sexualized in our society. I'm appalled by some of the clothing in the toddler girls' section and I don't like it that young male pop stars are being marketed to four-year-olds.

[Codi]

At 3 and 5 it is hard (impossible?) for them to "get" why the word is not appropriate. Id just stick with a script like a pp posted above and not have a huge reaction. Just make it matter of factly that it is not something that is ok to say, but that XYZ are their options instead.

I think I would tell them that beautiful or pretty are more respectful way to say it than sexy. None of the words are "bad" but there are better ways to say something. I don't think they have to, or even can, really get it at such a young age. I do think it is good to instill respectful and loving ways to communicate.

[J3K]

We told them that sexy means "of or pertaining to sex" and that's inappropriate for a young child to be saying. If you think a woman is pretty , or beautiful , or cute , or talented , etc... it's okay to say those things.

We realized early on , especially with the neighbors we had at the time , it was impossible to keep our kids from hearing those things...but we could (for lack of a better word) "control" what our kids said in our home. "Influence" would be a better word than control.

[cbmk4]

I'm glad you brought this up. I just had a discussion with my 8 y.o. dd the other week about that word.

I emphasized that some people use that word to mean pretty, but that I thought it implied something different. To me, it means that emphasis is being placed on the appearance of a person's shape (like breasts or showing off too much skin.) We then talked about how some tv commercials show women scantily dressed to try to sell a product. It was a good opportunity to talk about how we respect others and respect God's creation and the difference between admiring someone's beauty and looking at them as an object.

Not sure if she got every nuance of the conversation, but I think she understood most of it.

[AppleSauceCookies]

.

[Indigo]

Yes, my kids have picked up that word too... from the Swiffer commercial! "Who's that lady? Sexy lady." They think it's hysterical that the mop is singing to the Swiffer. I also cringe when I hear them say it. I have told them it is a grown up word, for older boyfriends/girlfriends and husbands/wives. It means that one is attractive to another. But that it is not appropriate for children to say. (My crew is a little older than yours OP, so they understand where I'm coming from. We've had other talks about TV shows that are too "boyfriend/girlfriendish" for them to watch.) I encourage them to come up with other words to use. HTH.

[Firebird Rising]

what about playing it up and saying something completely random like, "Oh, yeah, so beautiful, with those purple lips and green hair. I think that we need to eat potatoes like that every day." I find that if I completely bewilder my children, they forget what they said and it isn't something they keep saying. I've been doing stuff like that when they call me "stupid mommy."

[April G]

Ugh... we went through a "sexy" phase with ds about a year ago. Frustrating to deal with, and ultimately prompted doing some beginner sex-ed.

Now at almost 7 he used the f-word yesterday (thanks to a lovely little boy he's friends with at school whose father uses the word regularly ). We had a very serious talk about language and how totally inappropriate that word is.