If your kids are ostensibly beyond spanking age...

[jandjmommy]

If your kids are ostensibly beyond spanking age, how important is it that your church is not pro spanking?
We started at a church a few months ago. DS10 absolutely loves the children's program. He has never, even at age 2, agreed to go to Sunday School - except here. They have a big program for 5th and 6th graders, which I think is great, as the big programs are usually only for jr high and high school.
BUT
The pastor is currently doing a series on families (which I think is in response to an email I sent him about a guest speaker who railed against gay marriage, but that is another topic!) and basically spent an entire sermon giving the lame "I was beat black and blue even at school and look at me now" and using the nanny's reasons why parents stink now blog post as an outline (I agree with all of her reasons, but he turned them into reasons to spank.)
My question is, how important is your church's stance on spanking if your kids are outside the range of spanking (7 and 10)? I was annoyed, but honestly, his opinion does not apply to me at this point.

[Codi]

I personally would not like to be at a church where that is happening.

For me, it's not as much an issue of having an influence on me as it is how much I can trust coming out of the mouths of those preaching that. I've learned that if you believe in it THAT extensively, sometimes even mildly, your views on a lot of other things are much different than I want to be hearing and embracing.

[cbmk4]

I am currently evaluating a similar question. If such teaching came from the pulpit to the entire congregation, I would be out of there in a flash. I, personally could not support a church that so boldly proclaimed beating of children as acceptable and even desirable behavior. Knowing that they espouse such views would poison how I view the church. Additionally, I think that anyone who holds such views cannot help but have his/her theology tainted as well.

[MudPies]

I would question if they truly understand grace. . That is a deal breaker for me. Why don't grace and forgiveness apply to children? I wonder if this pastor believes God punishes. I could not deal with that.

[MrsHutch]

I wouldn't like it, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if I loved the church otherwise. I may even consider it part of my ministry to younger families to show them that there is another (better, more Biblical) way.

[Peaceful Meadows]

I think it's very important to attend a church which has a pastor who has the perspective of God being merciful and gracious vs. God being an angry God. Church leadership's perspective of God affects their teachings from the pulpit, to the youth, children, etc. Children are like sponges and absorb what they hear in the classroom as well as at home. I want my children to absorb that God is gracious and merciful rather than the false view that He's harsh and judgemental.

My pastor has grown children and believes spanking is a tool that occasionally may be needed but very rarely. I obviously don't agree with my pastor that there is a time when spanking may be needed but I love my pastor. He is a very gracious and merciful man. His message is one of grace and when he preached a parenting series it was full of advice about listening to your children, being in tune with them and their needs, looking at what's behind their misbehavior rather than being reactive. He put emphasis on his belief that a parent rarely needs to spank a child. He said that we should use natural and logical consequences and be proactive rather than reactive. He spoke about God being a gracious and just Father full of mercy and how we need to be the same way with our children.

That same view of God being merciful and gracious is taught in the youth and children's ministries. The teachers correct from a paradigm of grace and teaching right from wrong rather than judgement. I think that it's important that church leadership have a grace-filled paradigm because it flavors the whole church.

So that to say that I will attend a church where the pastor believes spanking is a tool one can use, as long as his view of God is one of Him being slow to anger and abounding in mercy and grace.

[Aerynne]

I wouldn't be totally sure your kids are beyond spanking age.

For me it would depend on how strongly he was in favor of spanking. If he really spent an entire sermon on it, that's different from an off-handed mention of "I was spanked and I'm fine".

[Dtswife]

The church I go to is awesome. They're all about grace, their children's programs are amazing, they don't care if babies fuss in the service, etc.

They also are ok with spanking. The head pastor did a wonderful sermon on parenting and families, and honestly, 97% could have been lifted from here or arms of love's blog, but he did have about two minutes on spanking as a tool to address defiance.

I think I would be very, very, very hard pressed to find a church that meets all my other criteria AND advocates against punishment.

Since their attitude, even when discussing punishment, is so based in grace and rooted in love, I'm on with agreeing to disagree, as it were on this issue. If they were wrathful and angry on this, they would be on other stuff too, and it would be entirely different.

[Pragmatist]

Mentioning it occasionally I can deal with. What I can't handle is seeing or hearing spanking. If parents are encouraged to take their children out of the service to spank them, I'm out of there.