My kids missed the memo

[saturnfire16]

about how home schooled kids are unscocialized/anti-social.

As we walk through the store my three year old is saying:

"Hi! I like your shoes! Look at my shoes! We both have black shoes! Mom, that girl [woman] has black shoes like me! E has to go to the doctor. Her tummy hurts. And my tummy hurts. Do you want to see my owie? I fell down!"

And if people don't respond quickly enough or at all (after she yells at them from the other end of the isle), she gets very offended.

"Mom! That boy [man] didn't say hi to me! I said hi to him! "

Meanwhile my 6 year old (who used to be the kid who would stare right through people if they tried to talk to her), is saying "hi" to every random person we pass as well. She's not generally yelling at them from the other end of the isle, but if they respond to her saying hi, she'll strike up a conversation with them. "My sister really likes your shoes. She's 3. I'm 6. E is 8. This is baby A. She's our sister! We're going to the bank after this..."

And my 8 year old, having matured past the stage of saying hi to random people, is still working on figuring out what to talk to people about when they talk to her, and often hits on personal ailments. "My tooth fell out. I'm glad it finally fell out! But my other one over here, isn't falling out, and my grown up tooth is pushing out the side of my gum. It might have to get pulled. But I don't want it pulled! MOM, I'm not getting it pulled!"

A lady commented "What friendly kids!" and I got a real kick out of saying, "Yah, it's the homeschooling," and watching her .

[ValiantJoy07]

DD2 is hilarious at the grocery store, she tells the clerks her life story. One time our check out girl had a blue streak in her hair and dd2 just stared and stared and then finally said, "your hair is so beautiful! I love that blue part!"

It's so fun taking them out.

[jenny_islander]

I had a bubbly extravert followed by two introverts. It's been fascinating watching my introverts unfold, especially Eva. I remember being a lot like her as a child. I used to come home from school feeling raw and twitchy even when the bullies had picked somebody else for a while; I would need to hide in my room or in the woods, but she doesn't have to. I've been giving her gentle (usually! ) encouragement to step beyond her comfort zone. Last year I celebrated a few steps in that direction, but only this summer did she really blossom, trying brand-new activities in locations she'd never been to and/or with a bunch of strangers. Last year she would have called me to come get her or melted down before I even left! This year she's a Girl Scout. But she had to pass her eighth birthday to be able to do this. Sending her to PS would have been the opposite of help.

[mommychem]

My five year old is sooooooo social. DH and I often (sarcastically) joke about how homeschooling has really messed up her "socialization". Everyone said it would, doncha know?

[allisonintx]

When Abbi was seven, I watched her have this interaction with someone at church:

Person asks "Where do you go to school?"

Abbi puts on mock shy face, shuffles feet on the ground, cuts her eyes up looking through her eyelashes bashfully and says " can't you tell? I'm so awkward and shy. I'm homeschooled." Then she turned back at them with the full force of her extroverted, mile wide smile, and winked.

I nearly wet myself.

[mamacat]

Its all about the personality isnt it? I had some kids that hid in my skirts in grocery stores and one who was like yours - she spoke to everyone.At least helped me to better know that when people told me my kid(s) were shy around others because needed to go to school was a bunch of hogwash!

[allisonintx]

Catherine, I also had two introverts before I got an extrovert. Vive la difference.

[tessiemae]

Originally Posted by saturnfire16

about how home schooled kids are unscocialized/anti-social. ... sweet and funny stories deleted ...

A lady commented "What friendly kids!" and I got a real kick out of saying, "Yah, it's the homeschooling," and watching her .

Clearly, you've taught your children that they matter.

My own children were much the same way. I think it comes from having been listened to and not having had to develop a flat-affect in order to survive the peer-fixated, caste-conscious world of school.

So many adults are thrilled to encounter children, like yours, who look them in the eye and will talk with them. It's a rare experience. Sadly, many children seem shut-down, turned inward, and defensive. We are continually amazed when neighbor kids won't respond to a friendly "hi" and a wave -- kids of all ages ignore my husband and me and our family.

Now that my children are teens, I see how fortunate they and their friends are. Adults often comment on our well-spoken, confident, polite boys. I'm happy that they haven't given up trying to engage the shut-down. Often, they put me to shame as I'm not as nonjudging and tend to take things personally. I think this is their first step in promising to be the eyes, ears, hands, and feet for Jesus in our world.

peace,
tessiemae